Dauntless Ranch
by AnnLiberty
Summary: Through a series of tragedies, Tris finds herself a young widow running a Montana horse ranch. Come along as she learns the true meaning of family and finds new love on the rugged plains of Dauntless Ranch. Mostly rated T, some closer to M scenes in later chapters (think PG-13).
1. Chapter 1: Dauntless Ranch

Western Montana is beautiful country. The prairie grasses, rock formations, and endless sky create a unique, desolate beauty. I grew up here, a small town minister's daughter in a tiny community nowhere near anything. My parents served the people of our church, and we enjoyed a simple life, just the three of us, in the parsonage. As a teen I worked summers at a local ranch where I helped care for the horses. I graduated high school and left that fall for the state university.

In January of my freshman year, my world fell apart. One Sunday morning I got a phone call from my boyfriend and high school sweetheart, Tobias. My parents had failed to show up at church that morning, something completely unheard of. Several church members tried calling, but there was no answer. Marcus Eaton, my boyfriend's father and a deacon at the church, took the extra set of keys and went to investigate. When my parents didn't come to the door, he let himself in. There he found my mom and dad curled up in their bed, dead. Their furnace had malfunctioned, and they didn't have a carbon monoxide detector to warn them.

I remember Tobias calling that morning, but after that it all gets fuzzy. I didn't have a car, so he told me he would make the four hour drive to pick me up. I remember telling my roommate, Christina, and pulling my suitcases out from under my bed. Then I sat down and spaced out.

Christina was a good roommate, and she's still a good friend. While we waited for Tobias she washed and dried my dirty clothes and folded them right into the suitcase. She emptied my closet, and stayed near me. She brought me tissues I didn't need and water I didn't drink. I don't remember any of it.

The first thing I was aware of was Tobias' blue eyes and feeling his arms around me. The dam burst, and I sobbed until there was nothing left and I passed out from exhaustion. Christina enlisted our friend Lynn to help finish my packing, and Tobias loaded all of my things and my sleeping body into his dad's pickup truck.

I woke up about an hour into our drive home, and I was so distraught that Tobias had to pull over on the shoulder of a desolate stretch of interstate highway to comfort me. He took me to the home of another church deacon, Ethan Black, who happened to be the father of my friend Susan. Susan and her family took me in and cared for me during the weeks after I lost my parents.

Small town people, especially church folks, are some of the kindest people in the world. When the investigation was closed and my parents' life insurance check arrived, the Blacks and I were _still_ eating food brought by thoughtful neighbors who just wanted to do something to help. I couldn't walk down the street without being hugged by well-meaning ladies. While I appreciated their kindness, and their obvious love and respect for my parents, I grew tired of being 'the daughter of the dead minister and his wife.' I wanted to get on with my life, but I was nineteen, and completely lost.

About three months after my parents' death, Tobias took me out on our first date since the tragedy. We got ice cream from a local shop and went out into the country to be alone, just like we had countless times in high school. As we watched the sun set from the back of Tobias' rusty old truck, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him using his late mother's wedding ring.

I accepted, and we decided that a short engagement and quiet wedding would suit us best. A local judge married us at my father's church. The only people there with us were Tobias' father and the Black family.

Using my parents' life insurance money, Tobias and I bought a ranch about two hours' drive from our hometown. I liked being away from the people we had known our whole lives. There we weren't _Marcus' son_ and _the dead minister's daughter_, we were just Tobias and Tris, a young ranching couple. We raised horses and grew wheat on a piece of ground we called Dauntless Ranch.

We loved it there. The land came with a little white farmhouse, and we made it a home, hoping to fill it with children and to grow old together there. But life isn't perfect. In spite of two years of trying (and as young newlyweds we did _plenty_ of trying!), Tobias and I were unable to conceive. We visited a specialist at the nearest large town, and he discovered that Tobias was unable to have children.

Men and women tend to handle this kind of news differently. I immediately decided that we should adopt. A woman's maternal instinct isn't terribly concerned with blood relations. I knew I could be mom to my child even if he or she didn't share our DNA. Tobias had a harder time with it, as many men do. He felt like a failure and less of a man because he couldn't impregnate me, and he was reluctant to give up and take on someone else's children. But eventually he gave in, and around the time of our fourth anniversary we started climbing the mountain of paperwork necessary to adopt a child.

On August 23rd, four and a half years into our happily ever after, my world stopped turning. We got a call that day from a neighbor. He had bought a new horse, a large, all-white stallion, and when the former owners delivered it, they put it straight in its pen in his barn. The animal seemed a bit skittish, and didn't let our neighbor pet it that first night, but he figured it would settle in. The next day he opened the stall door to take the new animal out to the corral for some exercise, and it bolted. He managed to get it out of the barn and into the corral, but he didn't know what to do as the animal continued to go wild.

Tobias had a solid reputation for his skills in working with horses, and though our houses were six miles apart (if one took the roads), we were the man's nearest neighbors. So we hopped into our truck and took off for the neighboring ranch.

When we arrived we could see what the man was talking about. The horse, a beautiful animal, was leaping and bucking around the pen like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. He kicked at the fence penning him in, threw his body around wildly, and made angry noises the likes of which I have not heard from a horse before or since.

Tobias suggested that since there were no other horses in the pen to hurt we should let the animal wear itself out for a bit. Our neighbor, an older man who lived alone, brought us cups of steaming hot coffee, and we stood around the corral sipping our coffee and visiting while we waited for the possessed creature to tire out.

When the horse calmed down a bit, Tobias ventured into the corral, speaking to the it in a soothing voice. At first it only seemed wary, stepping backward as Tobias approached it. But when he got close, the bucking resumed and the animal went back to its wild ways. Tobias couldn't get away fast enough, and the horse kicked him and knocked him to the ground. When he was down he did his best to curl up and protect himself, but everything was flailing hooves, thick dust, and deafening noise. Suddenly a shot rang out, and the horse stumbled, then fell to the ground, partially covering my husband.

I scurried over the fence and ran straight for the man I loved, but there was nothing that could be done. Tobias' head was split open and he was dead before I got to his side.

The neighbor called the sheriff, who arrived a half hour later with the local doctor who served as the county's coroner, the volunteer ambulance squad, two deputies, and our best friends, Zeke and his wife Shauna. Just like the day my parents died, I was a zombie. But this time there was no Tobias to hold me together.

Zeke drove my truck home, and Shauna and I followed in their SUV. They stayed with me as I called Marcus and made arrangements with the church and the funeral home. I thought about taking Tobias back to our hometown and burying him near my parents, but I planned to stay at Dauntless, so I wanted him near. There was an ancient rural cemetery on our land, and I got permission to bury him with the settlers who had rested there since the late 1800s.

For weeks our friends helped me hold my life together. Shauna and Zeke stayed with me for the first few days, accepting covered dishes from church ladies and neighbors. Zeke's brother, Uriah, and his girlfriend Marlene came out to care for the horses. Their mother, Hanna, who had treated Tobias and I like her own children and even invited us to holidays since we moved to the area, came out to help with the housework. The man whose horse had killed Tobias gathered a crew to finish harvesting our wheat. My college roommate Christina and her boyfriend, Will, came for a few days. Another college friend, Lynn, graduated that December and came to stay with me for the winter months.

Every day it got a little easier to breathe. Every day I took more notice of my ranch and the things that needed tending. I couldn't have survived those lost months without my friends, but by spring I was managing. I missed Tobias every day, and I mourned for the life and plans we lost, but I was ready to live again.

I rented out the wheat fields to a local farmer. We owned our ranch outright thanks to my parents' life insurance, but we had loans on our bigger farm equipment. I made payments that first year, but the lease setup went so well that I sold the equipment a year later and decided that my focus would be on the horses.

We had three horses when Tobias died. Two were our personal riding horses, Lightning and Flash, and the third was a beauty we had just bought for breeding purposes. The spring after Tobias passed I had the new mare inseminated and my little herd grew. I bought two more horses that fall, bringing my family up to 6 horses, two chocolate labs, and me.

Training and caring for my horses kept me busy, and my reputation as a breeder and trainer grew. I wanted to expand my operation, but I knew that if I got any more animals I wouldn't be able to handle it on my own. So that year instead of adding to my herd, I added on to my property and built a bunkhouse beside the barn. The bunkhouse had two nice-sized apartments, like a little duplex. Each had one bedroom, a living room/kitchen combo, and a bathroom. The bunkhouse was built to be sturdy and warm in our unforgiving winters. A covered porch ran the length of the entire building, and I outfitted both apartments with basic furniture and appliances that would stand the test of time.

That spring I began advertising for a ranch hand. I lucked out and hired a young man named Oscar, who did a great job. He was newly married to a sweet girl named Liza, and the two of them enjoyed setting up housekeeping in half the bunkhouse and working with the horses. I appreciated having a man around again. I love working my ranch, but the heavy lifting gets to be a lot for a small woman like myself.

Liza and Oscar stayed with me for almost two years before they decided to move on. They were expecting their first baby and wanted to get settled in a place of their own as their family grew. By the time they left, our herd had grown to ten horses, and I had sold several others and rented my stallions for stud service. Having "Dauntless" on a horse's pedigree came to mean quality breeding, and Dauntless horses that were also trained by Oscar and I fetched a good price.

People often called us to come out and help them with difficult animals. I dreaded those calls as they always reminded me of Tobias' death. Oscar was understanding, and nearly as good with the animals as I was, so he usually offered to take those calls.

I knew I couldn't go back to running the ranch by myself. The herd of horses was too much for one person. Between feeding, training, cleaning stalls, and everything else involved in running a ranch, I couldn't do it alone. The summer Oscar and Liza left, I hired a teenager to come stay in the bunkhouse and work. He wasn't the worker Oscar had been, but we got by until he went back to school in the fall.

That winter I handled the ranch alone. Winters are slower anyway, and by not having help I was able to sock away some additional money. I knew that as my operation continued to grow I would need more barn space, and hopefully an additional bunkhouse as well.


	2. Chapter 2: New Friends & Dauntless Cake

Tobias has been gone for eight years now, nearly twice as long as we were married. Dauntless has grown to a good-sized operation, with twenty head of permanent stock, plus a rotating group of horses we breed, board, and train. At any one time there are as many as fifty horses roaming my land, and we house them in the old barn and two new pole barns. Between the two bunkhouse buildings I have room for four to eight staff, depending on if we're talking about singles or married couples. There are four people living here with me right now.

Zeke's brother, Uriah, and his now wife, Marlene, have been here for two years. Uri loves horses, and Mar is a vet tech, so they're my right hand around here. Marlene has been pushing me to bring a veterinarian into the operation so we don't have to pay the town vet to come out all the time, and so she can work at the ranch as well. They don't have any children, and don't plan on it any time soon, but have hinted that I might convert their bunkhouse to a three bedroom instead of two one-bedroom units when the time comes.

In the other bunkhouse the apartments are occupied by two single ranch hands. Matthew lives on one side, and Al lives on the other. Both are serviceable workers who do well with the animals. Matthew is very intelligent and mostly works with the training part of my business, where Al is strong and does a lot of the heavy lifting chores, like maintaining the buildings and cleaning stalls. Marlene and Shauna think Matthew and Al both have crushes on me, but I'm not interested.

It's not that I don't date. I was married at 19 and widowed at 23, and that's younger than a lot of people are when they meet their spouse. I loved Tobias, but after all these years I could see myself marrying again if the right guy came along. But this is a small rural community, and aside from ranch hands that come and go with the seasons, the pickings are slim.

I had dinner with the young minister when he first moved to town, but there were no sparks there. I really didn't want to go back to that life anyway, and a minister needs to be in town with his people. He eventually found a nice wife, and they have an adorable little family now.

I had drinks at Zeke's bar with a hothead named Peter, but he had a reputation for overindulging, which proved true on our one and only date when he started a fight with his friend Drew. Peter claimed in a drunken slur that Drew "looked at her (me) wrong." The Sheriff had to be called in to break it up. Peter, idiot that he is, had the nerve to call me a few days later to ask me for another date. I shot that down!

Max is the only guy I've been on more than one date with since Tobias passed away. Max works for the railroad, and is only in our town every few weeks. He happened to be here during the county fair last year, and we hit it off when he stopped to admire my horses. We spent an evening at the fair eating junk food and riding carnival rides like teenagers. The next time he was in town we had dinner, and another time we attended a high school football game together. We got along all right, but those railroad men tend to be less than domesticated. It turned out that Max was a married man, and rumor had it that he had a girlfriend in every town along the line. I was terribly embarrassed by the discovery and I felt that Tobias would be ashamed of me. I haven't dated since then.

I highly doubt that either Matthew or Al are in love with me, regardless of Shauna and Marlene's romantic notions, but I'm not interested anyway. Matthew is a good guy, incredibly smart and always full of ideas, but he tends to annoy me with his know-it-all nerdiness. Al is worse. He's whiny and self-deprecating. They're both good workers, but neither of them are really man enough for my taste.

"Tris, got a minute?" Uriah interrupts my musing.

I blush, glad he can't read my mind as he caught me thinking over my non-existent love life.

"Sure, Uri, what do you need?" I ask.

"I was in town today, and I ran into Old Man Coulter at the feed store," he says.

Instantly that gets my attention. Charles Coulter, or "Old Man Coulter" as he is known around town, is a fixture in our community. He has lived here his entire life with the exception of a stint in the army. He married his wife, Rose, when he came back from Vietnam, and a few years later they had a daughter and then a son. His daughter and wife were hit and killed by a drunk driver around the time Tobias and I moved to the area. The Coulter's son, Eric, finished high school that year and spent a few years at home with his dad running the family farm. Not long after Tobias' death, Coulter suddenly sold his farm, and that fall Eric left for college. Rumor around town is that the elder Coulter has cancer, though he doesn't talk about it.

"How is he?" I ask Uriah.

"I don't know," he answers. "You know he doesn't talk about his health. Didn't look too good, though. I think he's lost weight. He had some news. Apparently Eric finished school, and he's coming home for a visit."

"I'm glad to hear that," I say. "His son is all he has left, and if he is sick… you know."

Uriah nods.

"What did the kid study?" I ask.

"He's not a kid, Tris. Eric is just a year or so younger than you and I; he was a grade behind me in high school. He took a few years off to work the farm after his mom and sister died, and he's been away at school for eight years now."

"Eight years?" I ask. "Is he a doctor or something?"

"Vet," says Uriah with a knowing grin. "And you know, we do have one bunkhouse apartment open…"

"Can we afford another employee?" I ask.

"If we don't have to pay the vet in town to come out here all the time we can easily afford it," says my ranch manager. "And Mar is here to help him."

"Mar has a job in town," I remind him, "and Dr. Jones won't be happy with us if I take his tech and my business elsewhere."

"Just think about it," Uriah says. "It would certainly be convenient to have a vet onsite."

Our conversation is interrupted by the crunch of wheels rolling on the gravel driveway, and a grin splits Uriah's face as Shauna's car rolls up. As soon as the door opens we hear Zeke and Shauna's three-year-old daughter, Bella, squealing.

"Unca Ooey! Auntie Tiss!" she screams in her adorable toddler lisp, arms waving wildly.

We walk to the car as Shauna frees the energetic toddler. Bella runs straight to her uncle, who throws her into the air, then passes the squirming little girl into my arms for a hug and kiss.

"Everything okay?" Uriah asks his sister-in-law.

"Yup," Shauna says, grinning. "Bella has been pestering me for days to bring her out here, and Zeke and I thought it would be fun to show up for the evening. We brought dinner, too. Steaks to grill, salads, and cake made with Tris' special recipe."

"Dauntless cake?!" asks Uriah.

"Yup," confirms Shauna.

Uri and Bella grab hands and start dancing around wildly, chanting "Dauntless cake! Dauntless cake!"

"Where's Zeke?" I ask Shauna.

"He had to finish working at the bar and wait for the evening staff to come in. He and Hanna are going to ride out with Marlene when she gets off work at the vet's office."

"I have a feeling there's something we'll be celebrating tonight," I say to Shauna, raising one eyebrow at her.

"Maybe," she says, "but let's wait until we're all together."

I grin and throw my arms around her in a quick hug.

"Let's go see the horsies," I say to Bella.

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xxxx

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Shauna brought enough food for an army, which is good, because ranch hands can eat a lot. We start a bonfire in the pit behind my farmhouse and Uriah and Marlene help Bella roast marshmallows to go with the Dauntless cake.

Bella is asleep on my lap when Zeke and Shauna stand up in front of the group.

"We have an announcement," Shauna starts, and I grin, knowing what's coming.

"We're pregnant!" Zeke and Shauna say at the same time.

Hanna grins knowingly, Marlene gasps, and Uriah jumps up to hug his brother and sister-in-law. I smile at the little girl sleeping in my arms. She's going to be a big sister in a few months, something I always wished for when I was a kid. As I look around the fire at my makeshift family, I can't help but smile. My parents may not have been able to give me a sibling, yet here I am with two brothers, two sisters-in-law, a niece, and a mother figure who treat me as one of their own.

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xxxx

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I'm always glad to see my own gravel driveway when I pull up to the ranch. This place is my whole world. Today I just ran into town for groceries and a few other errands, but I'm glad to be home.

I pull onto my property and roll slowly toward the house. I'm surprised that my dogs, Cocoa and Hershey, aren't running down the drive to meet me like they usually do. I'm even more surprised when I see an unfamiliar black pickup truck near the corral. I park my truck near the house and hurry the frozen foods into the kitchen. When I open the door to run out for the rest of my groceries, I nearly run smack into Uriah and a hulking blonde man carrying my groceries toward me.

"Oh!" I exclaim. "Um, thank you."

I'm flustered by the presence of this stranger on my ranch, and even further perplexed that he is carrying my groceries into the house.

"Tris!" says the large man. "It's good to see you again."

"Uh, thanks," I say, confused.

Uriah laughs at my obvious confusion. "Tris, this is Eric Coulter," he explains.

"Oh wow," I say, still flustered. "It has been a long time, hasn't it. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you." This tall, muscular man with close-cropped blonde hair and tattoos up his arms bears little resemblance to the skinny teenage boy I remember.

Eric chuckles. "You haven't changed at all," he says.

I blush, though I don't know why. My heart is fluttering, and it suddenly feels entirely too warm in my kitchen.

"I hear you've just finished veterinary school," I say, desperate to turn the subject away from me. "Congratulations, Doctor. How long are you in town?"

Sorrow clouds Eric's usually clear grey eyes. "That depends," he hedges.

"I'm sorry," I say, placing my small hand on his large forearm.

"It's okay," he says softly, putting his other hand on top of mine.

I smile at him as reassuringly as I can. "What brings you out to Dauntless this afternoon?" I ask.

Eric smiles, relieved by the change of subject. "Uriah and I played football together in high school. I dropped by to catch up with him. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not," I assure him. "This is Uriah's home and he's more than welcome to have visitors. Especially ones that help carry in my groceries. Can I get either of you a beer or some lemonade?"

"I'll take a beer," says Uriah. "Eric?"

"Sure," he replies. "Thanks Tris."

I carry the milk to the fridge and grab three beers, bringing them back to the kitchen table. Eric and Uriah sit down and crack open their cans. I pop the top on mine as well, and take a sip before I continue putting away the groceries.

"Can I help you with that?" Eric asks.

I wave him off and bring a container of cookies to the table. Uriah digs in and slides them to Eric. I listen in as Uriah gets Eric caught up on all the town gossip while I put groceries away. We laugh at Uriah's storytelling, and I pull out my phone to show off pictures of Bella when Uri tells him about our adorable niece and the baby on the way.

We're interrupted by a knock on the kitchen door. "Tris!" yells Matthew. "Is Uriah here?"

"Come in, Matthew," I yell back.

The door bursts open and Matthew comes in looking panicked.

"Tris, Uriah, something's wrong with Flash!"

I gasp. Flash was Tobias' horse. He's not young anymore, but he's not old either, and he's an important part of life here on the ranch. I throw my boots on as Uriah and Eric jump up from the table. We're out the door in a heartbeat, headed to the old barn where Flash and my horse, Lightening, still live in the same stalls they've had since we brought them home during our first summer on the ranch.

I lead the three men straight to the stall containing the beautiful black stallion. He's clearly agitated, but whinnies when he sees me coming. I speaking soothingly to the huge beast, rubbing his nose and neck. When I see that he'll let me get close, I open the door to his stall and step inside. Flash takes a step backward and whinnies at me again. I notice when he steps backward that he appears to be limping, though I can't tell which leg he's favoring.

"Come here, baby," I coo at the horse. "Let mama take a look at your hoof."

The stall door opens again, and Eric's large frame steps into the small space.

"Tris," he says in a deep, soothing voice. "Why don't you hold his face and keep him calm, and I'll look at the hooves and legs."

I nod once and move cautiously to the front of the horse. Grabbing his bridle, I rub his nose and speak soothingly to the nervous animal. Eric moves from one side to another, feeling the horse's legs and looking at each hoof.

"Here's the problem," says Eric, his voice serious. "There's a chunk of glass in here. Looks like a broken beer bottle."

He asks Uriah to hand him a certain tool and some topical antibiotic. In no time the glass is removed and the wound is treated. Fortunately it wasn't deep, and shouldn't need additional treatment.

"Where did he pick up glass?" I ask Matthew. "Where was he today?"

"I had him out in the south pasture," says Matthew. "There were five horses out there all afternoon."

Eric, Matthew, and I check on the other horses that were with Flash while Uriah finds Al and the two of them go out to the south pasture on ATVs to see if anything is amiss out there. They return on one ATV, and Uri informs me that it looks like teenagers have been drinking and having bonfires near a clump of trees on the pasture. They found the remains of a bonfire in a makeshift pit, and quite a bit of broken glass nearby. In fact, one of the ATVs blew a tire before Al noticed that he had driven onto the broken shards.

Fortunately, none of the other horses are injured. I send Matthew and Al back to change the tire and bring the ATV back to the barn. Uriah instructs them to keep the horses out of the south pasture until we can do something about the glass.

As Eric, Uri, and I head back to the house, I am shaking with rage and adrenaline from my fright. Eric gives me a concerned look, which gets Uriah's attention. Uri throws an arm over my shoulder as we walk across the yard.

"Flash is going to be fine," Uri says in a soothing voice.

All I can do is nod, and I'm angry at my weakness as a tear rolls down my cheek. We stop on the back porch, and Uriah pulls me into a hug. I hug him back and resist the urge to lay my head on his shoulder and sob.

"Eight years," I choke. "Eight years and that horse is one of the few things I have left of Tobias. I'm not ready to lose him, especially for something as stupid as teenagers partying on my land."

"I know," Uriah says calmly.

Eric lays a hand on my shoulder, and I turn to face him.

"Thank you so much for your help with the horses," I say.

"My pleasure, Tris," he assures me.

"You're joining us for dinner tonight," I tell him. "It's the least I can do."

"I'd love to," he says.

"Uri, you and Mar are coming too, right? I ask.

"Sorry, Trissy," he says, "Marlene took her car in for work this morning when she went to the office. I promised I'd come pick her up and take her out tonight."

"Looks like it's just us then," I say to Eric. "If that's okay with you."

"That depends," he says with a smirk at Uriah, "can she cook?"

"_Can she cook?_" asks Uri. "You've been out of town too long. Hopefully she'll make you Dauntless cake, it's the best thing ever invented. This woman is the best cook in the whole county. Don't tell my wife I said that. Or my mom. I better shut up before I get in trouble!"

We laugh at Uriah and he says goodbye to get ready for his date. I invite Eric into the house while I prepare dinner.

"Tell me about this Dauntless cake," he says.

"I'm afraid that's not on the menu this evening," I say. "I have to decide how much I want you hanging around here before I put out bait that powerful."

Eric laughs at my joke. "Are you paying Uri in cake?" he asks. "He always did have a sweet tooth."

"Cake and free rent on the bunkhouse apartment," I joke. "Why do you think Marlene works in town? One of them has to make actual money."

Eric and I chat comfortably while I prepare a chicken, and baby red potatoes from my garden. While they're in the oven I take him out to the back porch for beers. I snap green beans, also from my garden, then step inside to put the beans on the stove and check on the chicken. It smells delicious, rosemary perfectly complimenting the roasting meat. I set the kitchen table for two and feel a pang of nostalgia.

I rejoin Eric on the porch for a few minutes, and let him know that dinner is ready when the oven timer goes off. I remove the chicken from the oven and cover it with foil. While it rests I prepare a simple gravy and dish up the potatoes and green beans. I carry everything to the table, including a bottle of white wine, which Eric opens for us.

"This looks amazing," Eric tells me. "Even without Dauntless cake you're luring me back. Dad and I aren't much for cooking. We've been eating a lot of frozen lasagna and TV dinners."

"You should bring your dad next time," I say to Eric. "I'd be happy to have you both over for dinner. For him I'd even make Dauntless cake!"

"So Dad warrants Dauntless cake and I don't? I see how it is," Eric teases.

"I know your dad," I tease back, "but the verdict is still out on you. Though you're off to a good start helping me with Flash today."

"I'll drink to that," says Eric, lifting his wine glass. I raise mine as well and we tap them gently before taking a drink.

The rest of dinner is just as friendly and lighthearted. I find Eric easy to talk to. He knows horses, which helps. After dinner he helps me with the dishes, and before he leaves he offers me his phone number.

"If you need help with the horses. Or anything. You know," he says nervously.

I thank him and walk him out. He climbs into his truck and waves on his way down the drive.


	3. Chapter 3: Schoolgirl Crush

I've waited two days to call Eric. I want to, but I feel like a foolish little girl with a crush. I almost wish something would happen that would necessitate calling a vet so I would have an excuse. Almost. I love my horses too much to actually wish for something like that.

I replay our conversations from the other night, and it occurs to me that I offered to make dinner for the two Coulter men. That's a good reason to call, so I check my schedule for the next week and pull out the paper with Eric's number. It rings three times, and the elder Coulter answers with a gruff "Hello?"

"Mr. Coulter? This is Tris Eaton," I greet him.

"Ah! Mrs. Eaton," says the man, "it's good to hear from you. How are things at Dauntless?"

"Great," I reply. "Busy as ever."

"I hear Eric was out to visit the other day," says his father. "He hasn't stopped talking about it since he got home that night. He's quite smitten with all those horses you have, and with your cooking."

I blush at the compliment. "That's actually why I'm calling. I'd like to invite you and Eric to dinner. Would you like to come out to Dauntless some evening?"

"I'd love that!" says Old Man Coulter, enthusiastically. "It's good to have my boy home, but he's no better cook than I am. We'd appreciate a good home-cooked meal, especially in the company of a lovely lady such as yourself."

"No need for compliments, you old charmer. I already told Eric that if he brought you out for dinner I'd make you a Dauntless cake, so you don't need to kiss up to me."

Coulter laughs heartily. "Is that cake for me or for my son?" he teases.

"As I told Eric the other night, I don't know him well enough for Dauntless cake. It's like putting out cat food in the barn; you can never get rid of them once you feed them. I'll make a cake for you, and Eric can have some for bringing you out to the ranch."

Coulter laughs again. "And if your bait catches a nice young vet, all the better," he teases.

I laugh, thankful he can't see me blushing, and we compare schedules and make dinner plans.

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xxxx

.

The house is cleaned top to bottom. The dining table is set, and a Dauntless cake sits on the kitchen counter, ready to be devoured. There's a beef roast in the oven with potatoes, carrots, and herbs from my garden. Next to the roasting pan a pan of biscuits rapidly approach a perfect golden brown. Gelatin salad waits in the fridge. Everything is ready.

I don't think I've ever been this nervous about having neighbors over for dinner. I changed clothes twice and got so distracted that I nearly burned the cake. I settled on an ivory sundress with golden sunflowers, and a light sweater. It's cute, but still casual. My dull blonde hair is in a simple braid down my back, as it usually is. I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard, but I want to make a good impression.

I roll my eyes at myself. I'm acting like a smitten schoolgirl. Eric is a handsome man, and my heart does flips in my chest every time I think of him. I find myself wondering if there are any more tattoos hiding under his shirt. The prospect of seeing his muscular form shirtless makes my mouth water and my cheeks flush hotly. I remind myself not to get my hopes up. Once Mr. Coulter gets through this health crisis, Eric will no doubt burn rubber getting out of this tiny town.

Cocoa and Hershey alert me to a vehicle in the driveway as I am lifting the biscuits out of the oven. I wipe off my hands on a kitchen towel and shut off the stove before stepping out on the porch.

"Boys!" I yell to the dogs, who snap to attention at my command. "Here!" They run immediately to my side, and I give them each a pat before indicating that they should get in their beds on the far end of the porch. Old Man Coulter doesn't need a couple of big chocolate labs jumping all over him and getting him dirty, or worse, knocking him over. My babies are well-trained, but they're friendly and sometimes get carried away.

Eric emerges from the truck and waves before walking around to the other side and helping his father to the ground. Uriah was right, Mr. Coulter does look like he's lost weight. The hearty farmer I remember from my first years at Dauntless lost some of his vigor when he sold the farm, but now he looks downright emaciated and frail. I hear him grumbling at Eric about his "gall darn giant truck that's too damn tall," and I suppress a giggle.

The two Coulter men walk across the yard to the back porch, and we exchange greetings as I lead them inside.

"Mrs. Eaton," says the elder man, "it smells good in here! I've been dreaming of your cooking ever since you called."

"Well," I reply, "I hope it lives up to your expectations. I made us a pot roast with potatoes and carrots, plus biscuits and a jello salad."

"And?" he questions, waggling his eyebrows.

I point to the cake on the counter and whoops like a little boy let out of school for the summer. We laugh as I guide the men to the living room. I offer drinks, and Eric accepts a beer while his father takes lemonade. Lemonade sounds good to me too, after a hot day in the kitchen, so I get us drinks and give the gravy a stir.

"Dinner is ready any time," I tell the men. "Let's head to the dining room."

Eric offers to help carry dinner to the table, and I take him up on it. He carries the platter with the roast meat and vegetables, while I bring the salad. When we go back to the kitchen to plate the biscuits and pour the gravy into its dish, and Eric stops me for a minute, placing a warm hand on my arm.

"Thank you for doing this, Tris," he says sincerely. "I haven't seen Dad this excited to leave the house in a while. The promise of good food, good company, and an evening in the country has really brightened his spirits. It means a lot to both of us."

"It's my pleasure, Eric, really," I reply. "Your dad was good to Tobias and I when we first moved out here. He had just lost your mom and sister, yet he went out of his way to make us feel welcome in the community. That meant a lot to us. I had just lost my parents, too, so I knew how hard it was to get past the grief. The fact that he bothered with a couple newcomers really meant a lot."

Eric smiles broadly. "That's Dad," he says. "Never too busy or too selfish to help others. I think that's why he's struggling so much. He can't do a lot of things anymore, and he misses socializing and feeling useful."

We're interrupted by a call from the dining room. "You kids aren't in there eating that cake without me, are you?" Eric and I laugh and carry the rest of the food into the dining room.

I enjoy my evening with the Coulter men. Eric and his dad are a lot alike with their lively grey eyes and propensity to tease. I notice that for all his banter about good food, Mr. Coulter doesn't eat a lot. He does manage a slice of cake, and when Eric moans over his first bite, I nearly choke on my lemonade. Mr. Coulter laughs loudly, and my cheeks flush pink.

After dinner the men insist on helping me carry things back to the kitchen. We end up visiting in there, and Eric helps with the dishes while his dad sits at the table and entertains us with stories from Eric's childhood on the farm.

"How is it that the two of you can't cook to save your lives, but you're so good at helping in the kitchen?" I tease.

"Rose and Emma did all the cooking," says Eric's dad. "We mostly did the farm work. But Rosie made sure her boy was a gentleman who knew to help out."

"Well, it seems she did a good job," I say.

"Does this mean you'll make me cake?" asks Eric, elbows deep in dishwater. He grins at me as he bumps me with his hip.

"I'll think about it," I concede.

Once the kitchen is clean we take a walk around the ranch. Hershey and Cocoa join us, and I show the men my horse barns, corrals, and the bunkhouse buildings.

"You've built quite the operation," says Mr. Coulter, "and a sterling reputation, too. Your husband would be right proud of you, God rest his soul."

"Thank you," I say quietly. "This ranch was our dream. I couldn't have done it without Tobias if it weren't for our friends. I've truly been blessed by supportive friends and good employees. Dauntless is what it is because of them."

"That's true enough," he says, "but don't sell yourself short. You're a strong women, and you've been brave and worked hard to make this place a success."

"Thank you," I say again, smiling.

As it begins to get dark, the Coulter men take their leave. I send along a basket of produce from my garden and a container of leftover cake. The dogs and I stand on the porch and I wave as they head head down the gravel drive.

.

xxxx

.

"What, no little sundress this morning?" asks Uriah.

I roll my eyes. I knew he would say something.

"For that I'm not giving you leftover cake at lunch," I reply.

"You wore a dress and made him Dauntless cake?" Uriah teases, emitting a low whistle as if overwhelmed by how far I've fallen.

He turns to the horse in front of him and says in a sing-song voice, "looks like mama's going to land us an in-house vet."

I smack his arm as Matthew and Al walk in.

"What are you two squabbling about now?" asks Matthew.

"Trissy's new boyfriend," says Uriah, ducking as I swat at him again.

"He is _not_ my boyfriend," I say.

"Yet," says Uriah with a wink.

Al looks crestfallen, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Maybe Marlene and Shauna were right and he does have a crush on me. Sorry buddy, not happening. I leave the ranch hands to their morning chores and head to the garden. The fall produce isn't going to pick and process itself.

.

xxxx

.

Three days after the Coulters came for dinner, the dogs alert me to a car in the driveway. They're using their "friend" greeting, so it must be Marlene coming home from work early. I hope she's not sick or anything. I walk to the front window and am surprised to see Eric's big black pickup pulling in. Apparently my dogs have taken to him. Interesting.

I quickly wash my hands, tear off my apron, and step onto the porch.

"Good afternoon, Tris," Eric calls as he steps out of the truck.

"Good afternoon, Eric," I reply. "Are you here to see Uriah?"

"No, I'm actually here to see you if that's okay."

"Of course," I say, "come right in."

Eric follows me into the kitchen, and I'm embarrassed as I realize what a mess it is. Fall harvest in the garden means long, messy days of preparing vegetables for canning and freezing. Right now I'm up to my elbows in processing sweet corn. I spent the morning shucking it out on the porch, and this afternoon I've been sitting at the table cutting the kernels off the cobs. After this the corn will go into a big pot on the stove with good stuff like butter and salt, then into bags for freezing. It's a wonderful taste of summer all winter long, but it's a lot of work and a big sticky mess.

Eric informs me that he is here to thank me again for dinner, and to return my container from the leftover Dauntless cake. I offer him a drink and start to explain the mess in my kitchen.

Eric holds up his hand, cutting me off. "I get it," he says. "My mom had a big garden, too, and she processed corn and all kinds of things. Would you like help?"

"Are you sure?" I ask. "It's a terrible mess."

Eric insists, and even agrees to wear an apron. I dig out the least girly one I can find. It's way too small on his large frame, but it will help some in keeping his clothes clean. We work in comfortable silence for a bit, getting in the rhythm of the process.

"I took Dad to the doctor in the city yesterday," Eric says suddenly. His voice is sad and worried.

I look up at his stormy grey eyes and wait for him to continue.

"I don't know if you've heard the rumors around town, but he has cancer." Eric's shoulders slump as he admits the truth.

"I've heard that," I reply. "I'm sorry to hear that it's true."

Eric nods and swallows hard before continuing. "It's pretty advanced. They tried some things last year when it was first diagnosed, but it's already spread. They think he had it for a while before he went in. He's choosing not to treat it any more - says he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life sick and miserable.

"He's been talking about my mom and Emma a lot lately, too. I know he's looking forward to seeing them again. I'm happy for him, but… I mean… I just… Where does that leave me, Tris?" His voice breaks as he spits out the reason he really came to me. Eric is scared.

My heart breaks for him. I know how it feels to look to the future and see nothing but loneliness and uncertainty. I set down the knife I was using and reach for the hand Eric has resting on the table. I grasp his large, warm hand with both of my small ones. His troubled gaze flits to our joined hands and then up to my face. I see so much fear and pain in his eyes that it takes my breath away.

I squeeze Eric's hand and choke out the only words I can find. "I know."

He nods and takes a minute to gather himself before asking, in a voice husky with unshed tears, "How did you do it?"

I smile gently and squeeze his hands again. "It's the hardest and easiest thing you'll ever do. You keep breathing because your lungs demand oxygen. You sleep because you're bone weary. You eat because people insist on feeding you. You get back to work because things need to be done.

"Then one day you notice the sunset again, the smell of fresh-cut grass, or the beauty of frost on the windows. You realize how many people have loved you through your loss, and that you owe it to them, to yourself, and to the ones you lost to keep going."

"It wasn't like this when Mom and Emma died," he confesses. "I still had Dad, and the farm, and I was a dumb seventeen-year-old kid who didn't realize just how much he lost. Now? Now I'm going to be the last one left. A man with no family, no home, nothing."

A tear streaks down his cheek, and my own eyes well up as I remember feeling those same things.

"That was me when my parents died," I tell him. "I was just nineteen. I had no family left, and I had no education, no marketable skills, nothing. I felt like I was stranded alone at sea."

"What did you do?" he whispers.

"I leaned heavily on my friends," I tell him. "I had Tobias, my friend Susan and her family, and my college friends Christina and Lynn. They carried me when I couldn't carry myself. Then Tobias and I got married and started building Dauntless.

"When Tobias died it was even worse. We'd only been here four years. Dauntless was too much for me alone, yet not enough to build a life on without him. I was set adrift again. Zeke and Shauna were there for me. Uri and Marlene, too. Hanna, the church people, my neighbors and college friends. They all let me lean on them until I could stand on my own feet again."

"I don't know if I can do that," admits Eric in a choked whisper.

"You will because you have to," I tell him. "You don't have to understand it, but you'll keep going because life demands it. And you won't be alone. The town will rally around you like they did when your mom and sister died. Your friends - they'll be there. And the church ladies will feed you until you can barely walk."

"And you?" he asks, looking at me bashfully through wet lashes.

"And me," I confirm, squeezing his hand again. "I'll be leading the pack, Dauntless cake in hand."

He smiles slightly and places his other hand on top of mine. "Thank you, Tris," he says. "I knew you would understand. Thank you for letting me talk about this."

"I'm happy to help," I say, hoping he sees the sincerity in my eyes. "Would you like to stay for dinner? It won't be anything fancy; I was just going to throw burgers on the grill and eat leftover salad and chips, but there is plenty of it."

"I can't," he says. "I have to get back to Dad. But can I call you later?"

I easily agree and write down my phone number for Eric. He thanks me again for the conversation, and leaves. I go back to working on the corn, tears running down my cheeks.

.

xxxx

.

It's nine pm when the phone rings, and my heart rate picks up. My first thought is always bad news when the phone rings at night.

"Hello?"

"Tris? It's Eric."

"Eric," I breathe. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," he replies, but I hear weariness in his voice. "Dad went to bed, and I thought you wouldn't mind if I called."

"I told you that you're welcome to call me," I say, "and I meant it. Are you feeling any better this evening?"

"I am," he replies. "It really helped me to talk to you. Thank you."

"Eric, please stop thanking me. We're friends. I'm happy to talk to you any time."

"Are we friends now, Tris?" he asks. "Might there be Dauntless cake in my future? One made just for me?"

"Well…" I hedge, "I guess you've earned it. I'll make you a cake of your very own sometime."

"Will you help me eat it?" he asks in a tone that's almost… flirty. "It's pretty rich; I don't think I could eat a whole cake by myself."

I deflect by telling Eric a story about the time Uriah decided to eat an entire Dauntless cake on his birthday and made himself sick. In no time we're laughing and exchanging stories about the crazy Pedrad brothers.

We talk about horses, and football, and things going on around town. Before I know it, it's eleven o'clock, and I'm struggling to hold back my yawns. Eric catches me and apologizes profusely for keeping me up so late. Still, it takes another half hour for us to get off the phone. Eric gives me his cell phone number so I can call any time without the house phone waking his dad. I give him mine as well, although I warn him that coverage can be spotty out here on the ranch. We finally manage to hang up, and I realize that tomorrow will be here too early.


	4. Chapter 4: Love and Loss

As fall has progressed, Eric and I have become good friends. Mr. Coulter's health has deteriorated, and I've taken to visiting weekly when I go into town for groceries. I always bring food, but it's getting harder and harder to convince him to eat. He doesn't leave the house anymore, and Eric has called and driven out to the ranch for several heart-to-heart talks about next steps.

The doctors in the city are recommending hospice care, but Eric is reluctant to give in. He knows that once his dad goes, it's just a matter of time before he's gone forever. He wants to keep his last family member close as long as he can. I understand that, but I also know the hospice center has more equipment and staff to keep Mr. Coulter comfortable. I offer what support I can to the invalid and his grieving son.

When the shrill ring of my house phone jars me awake at three am, I instantly fear the worst.

"Hello?" I croak out, my voice half asleep

"Tris?" asks Eric in a choked voice.

"Eric? Are you okay? Is your dad okay? What's going on?"

There's silence for a brief moment, and I feel my heart in my throat, threatening to choke me.

"Tris," Eric says again, little more than a whisper. "I'm really sorry I woke you. Dad isn't doing well, and he's been asking for you."

"For me?" I ask.

"Yes," he says. "He's quite insistent. Do you mind? I'm sorry. I just don't know what else to do. He wants to talk to you."

"I'm on my way, Eric," I say, already throwing on yoga pants, a tee, and a sweatshirt.

"Thank you so much, Tris," says Eric, and I swear I hear tears in his voice.

I send a quick text to Uriah, Matthew, and Al, letting them know where I've gone and asking one of them to feed the dogs in the morning. I don't want them to worry if they hear me drive out or when I don't appear in the barn bright and early. I throw on some shoes, grab my purse, and jog out to my truck. I make quick work of the drive, and Eric meets me at the door of his father's house.

"I'm sorry I woke you," Eric repeats. "Thank you for coming."

I impulsively pull Eric into a hug, and he takes a deep, shuddering breath as he draws me close.

"He's back here," he says quietly, indicating the hallway to the bedrooms.

I follow Eric to his father's bedside, and I'm surprised how much the elder Coulter has deteriorated in the four days since I last saw him.

"There you are, Beautiful," says Mr. Coulter, always the charmer. "I've been waiting for you."

Eric pulls up a chair, and I sit down beside the dying man. I reach for his hand and feel how bony it is as he gives mine a weak squeeze.

"Eric, go make Mrs. Eaton some coffee," he says.

When Eric obediently leaves for the kitchen, the elder Coulter turns his attention to me.

"I don't have much time left," he tells me. I think about arguing, but nod instead. What good will it do to argue? We both know what's coming, so it's better not to waste time making false promises.

"I'm sorry I had Eric wake you," he says sheepishly, and I wave off the apology. If he thinks this is important, I won't complain about a few hours of lost sleep. "I know you've been there for Eric since he came home. I see him get all mopey and depressed then come back from your ranch looking strong and relieved. And I hear you on the phone at night, too, when he thinks I'm asleep. You understand grief and loss better than anyone your age, and I can't thank you enough for helping him through this time."

The short speech takes a while as Mr. Coulter has to stop between sentences and catch his breath. Seeing my friend like this is heartbreaking, and I find myself fighting tears as I stroke the old man's hand and let him talk.

"I know I can count on you to help my boy through this when I'm gone," he continues. "But I want you to know something else. I see the way the two of you look at each other. The way the boy's eyes light up when you come to visit… The way you look at him and blush… I get it. I was young once, and I was head over heels for my Rosie. But I'm afraid that after everything you've been through, you'll feel guilty falling in love again. Tobias is gone, Tris, and you have a lot of life in front of you. It's not disloyal to fall in love again. It doesn't mean you love Tobias any less. Some people find love more than once in life, and it doesn't mean either love was less. It just means you've been doubly blessed."

We sit quietly for a few minutes until Eric taps on the doorframe. He has a cup of coffee in each hand.

"Can I come in?" he asks quietly.

"Of course," I say softly.

Eric enters the room and hands me a coffee. He brings another chair up to the bed and sits down. We sip our coffee as Mr. Coulter drifts in and out of consciousness.

"Did you have a nice talk?" Eric asks quietly in my ear.

I nod. "He's worried about leaving you," I say. Eric's eyes are soft as he looks at his sleeping father.

"And he wants you to take care of me?" he asks.

"He wants us to take care of each other," I reply, placing one of my hands on top of his.

Eric smiles softly at his father, then at me, and puts his arm around my shoulders. We sit in companionable silence, drawing strength from one another.

As the sun is just starting to peek above the horizon, Mr. Coulter opens his eyes and makes eye contact with his son.

"Eric," he says, his weak voice barely a whisper.

"Yeah, Dad," Eric replies, reaching for his father's frail hand.

The elder Coulter nods slightly and closes his eyes again. We sit silently as he takes several slow, shallow breaths, then relaxes, still.

Eric sucks in a sharp breath and reaches for my hands.

"Is he?" he asks in a frightened whisper. "Will you check?"

I reach for the older man's wrist and find no pulse. I try his neck, but it's the same. Turning to face Eric, I shake my head. "He's gone," I say gently.

Eric reaches out with both arms and literally drags me into his lap. I put my arms around him as he drops his head onto my shoulder and sobs like a lost child. I hold him until he's cried out, running my fingers through his soft, unstyled hair and trying to offer comfort even as I too cry for my loss.

When Eric regains control, I offer to call the sheriff and the funeral home. Eric can only nod, so I leave him with his dad and step out to the living room to make the calls.

The sheriff and coroner arrive and confirm Mr. Coulter's death, and the volunteer ambulance team takes his body to the funeral home. Once his father is gone, I convince Eric to move out to the living room. I bring him water and tissues, and call Uriah. He comes to the house after the ranch's morning chores are done, and I leave Eric in his care as I move about the house. I clean up the bathroom and close the doors to the bedrooms. I know there will be people stopping by as soon as word gets out around town, and I want the house to be ready. I clean out the fridge and make room for the food I know they'll be bringing. I wash up the dishes and make a fresh pot of coffee.

When I walk back into the living room with cups of coffee for the men, Eric breathes my name and reaches for me. I sit beside him and he pulls me close. Uriah leaves the room to give us a minute.

"Where did you go?" Eric asks in a broken voice.

"I was cleaning up the house," I tell him. "You'll be getting visitors soon enough, and they'll be coming by all day."

"I thought you left," he says.

I remember the zombie feeling of grief. People came and went and I had no idea what was going on.

"I won't leave without telling you," I assure him.

"Don't leave," he says.

"Okay," I whisper.

The doorbell rings and I squeeze Eric's hand before getting up to answer it. The minister and his wife are the first to arrive, and the rest of the day is one visitor after another. Neighbors and church ladies bring food. The undertaker sends his son to pick up the clothes Eric wants his father buried in. Zeke and Shauna come by. Her belly is starting to show, which makes me smile. Uriah leaves in time for the evening chores.

Hour after hour, visitor after visitor, I stay with Eric. I answer the door countless times and make room in the refrigerator and then the freezer as people bring food. I brew enough coffee to fill a swimming pool. The pastor calls to say that people have been asking what they can bring us, and I suggest disposable dishware, bottled water, and more coffee. Not ten minutes later the Styrofoam plates and cups start arriving. I set out platters of donated baked goods, pour cups of coffee, and take out bags of trash.

The sun goes down, and the visitors trail off. I convince Eric to eat something and take a shower. While he's in the bathroom I call Marlene and ask her to bring me some clean clothes when she comes into town for work in the morning. I don't want to leave Eric just in case he needs me. The first nights are rough, and the last thing I want is for him to feel alone right now.

Eric is glad for my offer to stay, and thanks me profusely for helping him through the day. He seems refreshed by the shower, and relieved that the visitors are gone. We sit on the couch, and Eric begins telling story after story about his dad. I let him talk, but the lost night of sleep and the emotional day soon have me nodding off.

I wake with a start, stiff and uncomfortable. It takes a minute to get my bearings, and I realize that I'm on the Coulter's couch, curled into Eric's side. He's asleep with his head flopped on the back of the couch and an arm around my shoulders. I tiptoe to the restroom and then to Eric's bedroom where I grab two pillows and two blankets. I bring them back to the living room and attempt to get a sleeping Eric into a more comfortable position on the couch. Moving him is like moving a horse, but I manage to improve his situation, then take the other pillow and blanket to the smaller loveseat.

.

xxxx

.

Eric seems more like himself this morning, and once Marlene brings my toiletries and some clean clothes, I feel better as well. We visit the funeral home, and Eric makes the arrangements for his father's service. We agree that it will be fine for me to go home tonight. I miss the ranch, and we both need a good night's sleep. I remind Eric that he can call me at any hour if he needs something, and I head home after dinner.

As I lay in my bed, I play over the last conversation I had with Mr. Coulter. There's no doubt that my heart and my eyes are attracted to Eric. He's beyond handsome with his muscular tattooed arms, sparkling grey eyes, and his easy smile. Our friendship is effortless, too. I can admit to myself that I often find myself imagining what his lips taste like.

But Mr. Coulter was wrong about one thing - it's not feelings of disloyalty to Tobias that hold me back. I've made peace with his passing and the fact that I have a long life ahead of me. I'd like to find someone to share it with. What's holding me back is the fear that I'll get my hopes up and Eric will leave.

With his dad gone, there's nothing holding Eric here. He has his education completed, and he'll need to start a career soon. I doubt our little county could support a second veterinary office. The family farm is long gone, and the house in town is just a rental. As much as I would love to have a vet onsite, I don't think I could match the kind of income Eric could generate in private practice. Tears roll down my cheeks and wet my pillow as I succumb to my exhaustion.

.

xxxx

.

I haven't been to a funeral in years, so I'm nervous as I riffle through my closet for something appropriate to wear. I find a conservative dark grey dress and slip it on. Matthew and Al will stay at the ranch, but Marlene and Uriah plan to attend the funeral with me.

I hear a knock on my back door and hurry down to the kitchen. Uriah is standing there, hat in hand, looking like he's about to choke to death thanks to the tie he's wearing.

"Well, you look right nice, Mrs. Eaton," he says in an exaggerated cowboy voice.

"Why thank you, Mr. Pedrad," I say in the same tone. "You don't look too bad yourself. I don't think I've seen you in a tie since your wedding."

"I know why, too," he says, tugging on his collar. "I feel like I'm choking in this getup."

I laugh and take his offered arm. We walk out to his truck, where Marlene is waiting, and climb in. On the way to the church we discuss ranch business in subdued tones.

When we walk into the church, Uriah removes his hat respectfully. We came early, so there aren't many people here yet. I quickly spot Eric near the front of the sanctuary. He looks handsome in his black slacks, dark grey button-down with rolled sleeves, and black vest. My heart flips at the sight of him. I approach timidly, but he pulls me firmly into a hug. I relax in his arms and inhale his comforting masculine scent.

"I'm glad you're here," he says in a voice full of relief. "Will you sit with me during the service?"

"Of course," I say.

I visit with friends and neighbors until the service starts, then sit with Eric in the front row. The pallbearers bring in Mr. Coulter's casket, and Eric reaches out to grab my hand. The minister leads a few hymns, reads the scriptures, and gives a eulogy for Mr. Coulter. Eric sits stoically beside me through the entire service, dry-eyed. The only indication of his grief is the slight shaking of the hand holding mine.

When the service concludes, the pallbearers move the casket down the center aisle of the church. The minister follows, and Eric and I stand to follow as well. We walk out of the church building to the graveyard next to it. A tent is set up over the freshly dug grave, and the pallbearers and funeral home staff set the casket in place. Eric puts a hand on my lower back and guides me to the folding chairs at the graveside. I take the seat indicated, and Eric sits beside me again, taking my small hand back in his large one.

The minister says all the right words, and the church people go back inside for the standard funeral luncheon. Eric doesn't move. The funeral director looks at him inquiringly, and Eric nods. The workers lower the casket into the grave, and the funeral director looks to Eric again. He still sits, stoic, but nods. The workers shovel dirt back into the hole. Through it all, Eric doesn't move, so neither do I.

When the hole is filled, the workers take their equipment and leave us alone. Eric stands and offers me a hand. I take it and stand with him. He moves toward the headstones nearest the fresh grave. Closest to the grave, the headstone bears the names of Eric's mom and dad. His father's side had a birth date, but the death date still needed to be added. His mother's side shows both her birth and death dates. The headstone on the other side of Eric's mother bears his sister's name.

"Hey Mom. Hey Emma," Eric says, breaking the silence. "This is Tris. I don't think you ever met her. Dad can tell you all about her. She's been taking care of us lately, especially me. I don't know what I would do without her. I told Dad to hug you both for me, so you make sure he does that."

Eric falls silent again, and I stand beside him, a hand on his back offering silent support. His shoulders start to shake, and he drops to his knees. I move my hands to his shoulders, standing as close as I can.

"They're… all… gone…" he chokes out. Fresh tears flow down my cheeks as I watch my friend process his loss.

I step to the front of Eric and pull his head and shoulders into me. Even kneeling he still comes nearly to my shoulder. His sobs eventually quiet, and he wipes his eyes as he stands to his feet.

"Where is Tobias' grave?" he asks quietly.

"On the ranch," I tell him. "There's an old settlers graveyard on the property, and I had him buried there. I thought about taking him back to our hometown to be buried near his mother and my parents, but I knew I was staying here, and I wanted to keep him near me."

Eric nods. "Will you take me out there some time and show me?"

"Sure," I say. "I ride out there sometimes to visit. His birthday is in a few weeks, so if the weather cooperates I plan on going out. If you're still around you can come with."

"Still around?" Eric asks. "Where else would I be?"

"I don't know," I admit, dropping my gaze. "I just figured that once you get everything settled you'll be moving on."

Eric shakes his head, then takes my hand again and walks back toward the church. "Can I take you home?" he asks.

I agree, and text Uri and Mar to let them know. Eric is silent as he leads me to his truck. He opens the door for me and helps me up. Mr. Coulter was right, this truck is huge, and really hard to get in and out of.

.

xxxx

.

We pull out of the church parking lot and out of the city limits before Eric speaks.

"Tris," he says, "I don't know what my future looks like. I have to settle everything with my dad's estate and figure out what to do with myself. But I don't want to leave. This is my home. I'll find a little place to live and get work. I know the vet here is busy, but I don't know if there's enough business for two offices. I was thinking about offering to buy in as a partner. Dr. Jones could stick more to the office, and I could work with the large animals out on the farms and ranches."

It sounds good in theory, but I know what it's like to make plans when you're grieving. You feel desperate, and clutch at anything to hold on to what feels normal. As his new reality sets in and Eric realizes that there's nothing keeping him here, he'll be ready to move on, figuratively and literally.

"Tris?" Eric interrupts my train of thought. "You're awful quiet over there."

"I'm fine," I insist, but I don't sound convincing, even to myself.

We're quiet for another minute before Eric asks, "Do you want me to leave?"

I feel my eyes well up again, and I can't answer around the lump in my throat, so I just shake my head.

"Then what's the problem?" Eric asks.

I shake my head again, still unable to speak. A rogue tear dribbles down my cheek, and Eric reaches out to wipe it away with his thumb.

We turn onto the long gravel driveway at Dauntless. Hershey and Cocoa sound their "friend" bark, and I smile at my babies. Eric parks by the farmhouse, and I before I can work my way down from his monster of a truck, he's at my side, lifting me down.

"This truck is a bit tall for someone in a skirt and dress shoes, isn't it?" he asks, rubbing his neck and averting his gaze.

We walk to the farmhouse, and Eric settles himself in the living room as I go upstairs to change. I dig out a pair of jeans and a shirt, then allow myself a minute to give in to my emotions. I must lose track of time, because the next thing I know, Eric is standing in the doorway of my bedroom.

"Tris, please talk to me," he pleads. "What did I do?"

I shake my head, and Eric sighs as he sits on the edge of my bed. He places a hand gently on my back, and starts moving it in soothing circles. We stay like that for a while until I gather my thoughts and find my voice.

"I'm scared," I say, my voice a halting whisper. Eric moves closer to me and wraps his arm around my back, resting his hand on the side of my waist. I resist the urge to lean into his warmth or rest my head on his shoulder.

"It's just… Life hasn't been terribly kind to me. No, that's not right. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have my ranch, my friends and animals, and I have my health. The problem is…" I trail off as the tears start rolling down my cheeks. I reach for a tissue, and Eric pulls me even closer.

"I care about you, Eric," I whisper. "I care about you, and it scares me."

Eric places a gentle kiss on my temple. "I don't see the problem," he says softly, his deep voice making me shiver. "Why does that scare you?"

I shake my head again. "You're going to leave. You don't think so now, but you will. Everyone does." My last words are barely a whisper, but I know he heard because he pulls me even closer.

"Is this about your parents? Tobias?" he asks.

I nod. "My employees, my friends, your dad. People move on. Some die, some find better things to do with their lives. I don't blame them. I'm happy here, but there isn't a lot of opportunity in a place this small. So people move on. You will too."

"What about Uriah and Marlene? Zeke and Shauna? Hanna? The friends who were there for you during your darkest days? Not everyone leaves, Tris. I want to be one of the ones who stay. I'm going to be. You can't get rid of me. Especially now that I've had that cake," he says, trying to lighten my mood.

I know Eric is sincere. I know he thinks he won't leave, but I also know that when the fog of grief lifts and he really thinks about his future, he'll realize that he just can't stay here. But I can't tell him that. It's not worth fighting about, and he won't believe me anyway. So I latch on to his joke as our escape from this conversation.

"I warned you that stuff was powerful," I say, faking a smile as I dry my tears.

"Dad said you compared it to feeding barn cats," Eric laughs. "You're stuck with me now."

I'm suddenly struck by the realization that I just had an emotional breakdown at a guy who buried his father this morning, and I gasp in horror.

"Tris?" he asks, instantly concerned.

"Oh Eric," I say, afraid to meet his gaze. "I'm so sorry. Here we are on the day of your father's funeral, and I'm dragging you through my emotional baggage. That's so thoughtless of me. I should be comforting you today, not the other way around. I don't know what came over me."

Eric interrupts my babbling. "Tris," he says tenderly, "we're both tired and sad, and the funeral and everything has dragged up some painful reminders. For both of us. You don't have to hide your feelings from me. In fact, comforting you makes me feel less helpless."

"Really?" I ask, peeking shyly at the big man, trying to judge his sincerity.

"Really," he assures me.

I flop backward, laying my body across the bed with my legs hanging off the side. Eric follows me and we both sigh as we relax.

"I guess I've always been a caregiver," Eric says timidly, staring at the ceiling. "I was younger than Emma, but I always felt like her protector. That's how Dad was with mom and us kids. That's why I wanted to be a vet. I love being able to work with animals and take care of them. The owners, too. People are really attached to their animals. You know that first-hand. If I can give them more healthy years with their four-legged family members, that's just the best feeling ever."

I turn on to my side, facing Eric and tucking my legs up onto the top of the bed. I resist the urge to brush his blonde hair away from his face and stroke his lightly stubbled cheek. As if sensing my thoughts, Eric turns to face me, drawing his long legs up on to the bed, and gently takes my hand.

"How about you, Tris, how did you get interested in horses?"

I tell him about my summer job as a teenager and how I fell in love with horses while helping on a local farm. I talk about Dauntless, and how Tobias and I found the property, how we bought Lightning and Flash that first summer, and how happy it made me to finally own a horse of my own and be able to ride around my ranch. We talk and talk, soft memories shared in soft tones. Eventually we lapse into comfortable silence, then drift off to sleep.

.

xxxx

.

"Tris!?"

Someone yelling my name from downstairs jolts me awake. I jolt upright, or try to, and realize that I'm trapped in Eric's strong arms. Apparently we fell asleep, and at some point ended up curled into each other. I blush deeply when I realize our position, and the fact that Uriah is in the house looking for me.

"Eric," I hiss, nudging him. He grumbles and pulls me closer to his chest.

"Eric!" I repeat, louder. His stunning grey eyes flicker open, still cloudy with sleep.

Realizing our position, Eric releases me from his arms, and we avoid eye contact as we pull apart and scramble to our feet.

"I'm up here, Uri," I call as I head toward the stairs.

I see Uriah walking toward the stairway as I'm descending. Eric is just a step behind me, and I know my flushed cheeks and tousled hair give away that I just woke up. Uriah stops dead in his tracks, and his eyebrows shoot up so high they almost disappear into his hairline. The look on his face would be hysterical if I wasn't so embarrassed.

"I, uh… I'm, um, sorry I interrupted," says Uri, dropping his gaze.

"Yeah, um, we were just talking and we both fell asleep," I say. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah, Matthew and Al are off this afternoon and evening. I thought you were helping with the evening chores, but you didn't show up in the barn. I saw your truck and Eric's both here, but no one answered the door. I started to get worried."

"Sorry, Uri," I say, hanging my head like a scolded child. "Let me put my boots on and grab a jacket."

"Can I help?" asks Eric, still standing behind me on the stairs.

"You're not exactly dressed to be in the barn," I remind him.

Eric shrugs, and starts working the buttons on his vest and shirt. "I have an undershirt on, and I'm sure one of the guys has a barn jacket that will fit."

"What about your shoes?" I ask.

"They'll clean," he says with a shrug.

We head out to the barn, where Eric throws Al's barn jacket over his undershirt. We make our way down the rows, checking on the horses and giving them feed and water. I stop to give Lightening a carrot and some love when I overhear Eric and Uriah discussing the ranch as they move down the row.

"How many head do you have right now?" Eric asks.

"Twenty-two of our own, plus 6 boarding while their owner is on vacation. It's slow right now, but we have some new horses arriving Monday to start training. In the spring when the foals are born and we start bringing in mares to visit our studs, things get busy. We have had up to fifty horses on the property in the spring, but we only have stalls for 46, so we don't usually let it get that full."

"That's quite the operation," Eric compliments.

"The old barn houses Lightening and Flash, plus a feed room and the tack room. Right now we also have four mares in here. All are expecting in the spring, so we just find it easier to keep them all together. The east pole barn has the rest of our permanent residents, with four open stalls right now since the pregnant ladies have moved to the barn. The west pole barn is housing our guests."

"Twenty stalls is a lot for one pole barn," Eric comments.

"They're big barns," Uriah confirms. "And other than a small feed storage room and a washing area, it's just stalls, so we can fit in quite a few. There's another building out behind there for storing the trailer and the feed. As you can imagine, we go through a lot of feed around here."

"And make a lot of manure," Eric quips.

Uriah laughs. "They sure do. That's why Tris set up the local manure share program."

"Manure share?" asks Eric, sounding like a city boy.

"You grew up on a farm!" says Uriah, shocked. "Manure sharing is a program where local farmers get free fertilizer by picking it up at a local ranch. We use it here in our own garden, and on the wheat fields we lease to Isaiah Clemens, and the rest is picked up by local farmers. It's a win-win."

"It sounds like you're running at full-capacity here, at least in the summer," comments Eric.

"We are," I interrupt, joining the conversation. "In a dream world we would add another pole barn with more stalls and an indoor pen for training year-round. But it takes money to make money, and more horses would necessitate more staff. More staff would need another bunkhouse or two, and it just snowballs from there. We were honestly overwhelmed this spring. I need to add another hand as it is."

"And a vet wouldn't hurt either," says Uriah, nudging Eric with his shoulder.

I roll my eyes. "Ignore him. What he really wants is for his veterinary assistant wife to work on the ranch, too, so she doesn't have to drive in to town every day. I'd love to have an in-house vet on the ranch, and Marlene, but the money tree I planted out behind the barn isn't producing yet."

The men chuckle, and we finish the chores together.

Uriah goes home for dinner with Marlene, and I invite Eric to stay and eat with me. He accepts, and we throw together a simple dinner of goulash, frozen sweet corn, and garlic bread. It's nothing special, but it's warm and comforting. We decide to eat in the living room and watch a movie.

When the movie ends, Eric helps me with the dinner dishes, and we loiter on the porch with the dogs long after the sun goes down. Eric seems reluctant to leave.

Eventually, he sighs and says, "I guess I should be going. Thank you for being there today, Tris. Thank you for dinner, and for the nap, too." We both blush, and he rubs his neck nervously. "Would it be okay if I came back tomorrow? I just don't want to sit around the house all day."

"You're welcome here any time," I remind him, patting his arm.

"Will you put me to work? Keep me busy?"

"If you dress for it," I promise as he takes his leave.


	5. Chapter 5: Home on the Range

Eric returns in the morning, bright and early, wearing boots, a flannel shirt, and a pair of worn-in jeans that hug him just right. He greets me and declines my offer of coffee, heading directly to the barn. Hershey and Cocoa, traitors that they are, leave me and follow him. I head to the garden for another round of harvesting. There isn't much left this late in the season, just a few late-bloomers on the tomato plants, and some squashes.

I save the big beefsteak tomato for lunch, and cut up the others, blending them with onions, peppers, and seasonings for homemade salsa. While the salsa is heating on the stove, I boil the canning jars, and prepare the squashes for roasting. I slide the squashes into the oven and ladle the salsa into the prepared jars. The jars go into a water bath for sealing, and I prepare lunch while the jars process.

I finish sandwiches and get out salads and chips for my four hungry ranch hands just in time to remove the salsa from the canning bath. I set the jars out to cool, and ring the dinner bell on my back porch. In no time my employees make their way to the house, bringing Eric with them.

As we enjoy our simple lunch, I notice that Eric seems calmer today. Al, on the other hand, seems agitated. That bothers me as I step away from the table to remove the squash from the oven and set it on the counter to cool. My mind wanders to what might be wrong with him this time.

"What do you think, Tris?" asks Uriah, interrupting my musings.

"What?" I ask, caught off guard by the question.

"I asked if you'd be willing to take in a boarder for the winter. In the last bunkhouse apartment."

"A boarder?" I question. "Who would want to live this far out of town in the winter?"

The men chuckle and Uriah shakes his head.

"You really haven't been paying attention, have you?" he teases me.

"No, sorry," I say, returning to my seat at the table.

"Dad's lease on the place in town only went through November first," says Eric. "The owner offered to let me stay until the middle of the month because Dad just died and all, but I need to decide if I want to renew the lease or find somewhere else to live. Uri suggested your extra place in the bunkhouse. I was thinking maybe I could do vet work for you here on the ranch, and you could pay me in free rent and Dauntless cake."

"Who said anything about cake?" I tease.

"Well," he returns in a teasing tone of his own, "my daddy taught me that when you negotiate, the first offer is when you shoot for the moon. I'm offering you my services as a vet, and in exchange you'll provide me with a place to live and Dauntless cake. Now you make a counter offer."

"You have to let me pay for the medicines and supplies for the horses' vet care," I say. "You have no other source of income, so I don't want you buying supplies. The bunkhouse is heated anyway with Uri and Marlene living in the other half, so having you there doesn't cost me a thing. With the money I'll be saving on vet bills this is a huge benefit to me. So you have to agree to me covering expenses. And you have lunch with us on weekdays. Unless you make other plans of just don't want to."

"You're not very good at negotiating," says Matthew with a merry smile.

"Then why do I feel like I'm winning?" I ask, pointing a carrot stick at him.

"I don't know," says Eric in a mock-serious tone, "you're counter offer didn't mention anything about Dauntless cake."

"There is occasionally Dauntless cake at lunch," I hedge.

"And lots of other amazing food!" says Uriah. "You'd be crazy to turn down that offer."

"Well then, on those terms, I accept," says Eric.

"Hold up," I say. "I have one more stipulation. You are more than welcome to take side jobs caring for other animals when you're not needed here. My herd is healthy, and they won't require constant vet attention, especially in the winter."

"Mrs. Eaton, you drive a hard bargain," says Eric, laughing as he stands to shake my hand.

The men head back to the barn where Eric and Uriah plan to take an inventory of supplies while Matthew and Al clean stalls. As they walk away, Al asks for a minute of my time. I step out onto the porch with him before he speaks.

"Tris," he says, turning his sad puppy gaze on me, "I don't like this. I heard Eric in the barn, and he asked a lot of questions about your operation here. I think he's got his eye on Dauntless, and he's acting all helpful and interested in you to get his foot in the door. I just don't want to see you get hurt."

_What?_ Since when is Al concerned about me? I ran this ranch long before he came along, and I'll be at it long after he's gone. And Eric is my _friend_! He came home because his father was dying, not to swindle a young widow out of her property. The nerve of this guy! I bite back my ire, and reply to Al. "Thank you for your concern for me and for Dauntless," I say, carefully measuring every word. "I have heard you out. But Eric is my friend. Uriah has known him since they were kids together. I'm not worried about him getting his hands on my ranch or my horses."

"What about your heart?" asks Al, the weak, sniveling, petulant man-child, placing a hand on my arm.

I take a sharp breath and pull away from his hand. "My heart is none of your concern. I am your friend, yes, but I am also your employer. I built this operation with my own two hands, and turned it into the success that it is. I am not some helpless little girl. I'm a grown woman running a business, and you would do well to remember your place in that."

Without waiting for Al to respond, I turn on my heel and walk back into the house, closing and latching the storm door on my way.

I stand at the kitchen sink, cold water running over my hands, as I wait for the adrenaline rush to pass. Eventually my hands quit shaking, and I go back to work on the squash, removing the rinds and blending the roasted flesh to a smooth consistency before portioning it out for freezing.

I open the refrigerator, looking for something to prepare for dinner, but I'm too distracted. After staring at the shelves for a few minutes, I slam the door. I try to keep busy all afternoon with housekeeping chores, but I'm irritated, and I'm starting to doubt everything.

Why would Al say those things? Does he have a crush on me, as Shauna and Marlene think? Is he jealous of Eric? Or does Al have his eye on Dauntless, and he doesn't want Eric to get in the way of his scheme? No, that's silly. Al has never expressed interest in the workings of the ranch beyond doing his job. Maybe Eric _is_ using me. He's gorgeous - any woman with eyes can see that. Maybe he's using his looks and his charm, giving the lonely widow a bit of attention so she'll give him her business. No, this is Eric I'm thinking about, not some villain from an old western.

I'm distracted by a tap on my back door. Thinking it's Al again, I walk through the kitchen, unlatch the bolt, and throw open the door. "What?!" I say brusquely.

"Oh!" exclaims Eric, stepping back from the screen door, startled by my abrupt appearance and agitated demeanor.

"Sorry," I mumble, frustration and anxiety rolling off my shoulders at the sight of his clear grey eyes.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, obviously concerned.

"It's nothing," I insist, stepping onto the porch to give my dogs their overdue feeding. Eric examines me carefully, but must decide not to press the issue.

"Uriah suggested that you could show me the bunkhouse apartment," he says. "But if you're busy you could just give me the keys and tell me which one it is."

I shake my head. "No, it's fine," I insist again. "Just let me grab my jacket and the keys."

We walk in silence to the bunkhouses, located on the east side of the barn. Trucks are parked on both ends of one building, and just one end of the other.

"It's that one," I say, pointing to the far end of the building to the east. "That's the newer of the two buildings. As you can see, you park right by your unit. Uriah and Mar will be your neighbors; Matthew and Al are in the other building."

I fumble with the key, shaking as I try to fit it into the lock. Eric reaches for my hands. His are warm, big, and steady.

"Tris, did something happen?" he asks. "Do you not want me to live here? I can do something else, you know. I can stay in the house Dad was renting or find something different."

"No," I snap, sharper than I intended. "Sorry. I'm glad you'll be here. It's just… Never mind. It doesn't matter."

Eric grabs my shoulders and spins me so I'm facing him. His eyes are pleading and his voice is firm in its sincerity. "It matters, Tris. You matter. What's bothering you?"

"It's Al," I confess, dropping my gaze to avoid Eric's concerned look. "Al stopped me after lunch and said some things. He doesn't want you here. He thinks you're using me and trying to get your hands on Dauntless."

Eric releases my shoulders and takes a step back, his face shocked and hurt. "Do you think that?" he asks.

"No!" I say vehemently. "Of course I don't think you're like that! I think he's a weak, selfish, cowardly little man who feels threatened by you. He sees us together and he knows that I would never be interested in a spineless weakling like him when there's a strong, handsome, smart, kind, generous man like you around." My voice gets louder as I talk and by the end of my tirade I'm practically yelling, my face flushed and my eyes blazing fire. _Crap_. I definitely did not mean to say all of that out loud.

Suddenly Eric's lips crash into mine. The kiss is firy, passionate. His hand moves around my neck, fingers weaving into the base of my braid, pulling me closer. I slide my hands up his chest and grasp his shoulders. Our lips wrestle, tongues racing to taste one another.

We break apart, panting, and Eric pulls me tight against his chest. I rest my head against his shoulder, arms around his waist, as I catch my breath. Gingerly, reverently, Eric runs his hand down the length of my blonde braid.

"Tris," he breathes.

"Eric," I reply in the same tone.

"Can I kiss you again?"

I step up onto my tiptoes and nibble on his earlobe before whispering, "yes."

He smiles at me before leaning down to kiss me again. This kiss is tender, soft, and gentle. We smile as we break apart.

"I've wanted to do that for a while," he confesses.

"Me too," I say. "Shall we take a look at the apartment?"


	6. Chapter 6: Al

**Just a little bonus, because I'm nice like that. Chapter seven should still be up on Tuesday like usual. xoxo, Libby**

xxxx

.

It's been two weeks since Eric and I shared those passionate kisses on the porch of the bunkhouse. In that time he's moved in to the bunkhouse apartment and has been giving thorough checkups to each horse in my herd. Word got out quickly about the new vet based out of Dauntless, and Eric has had several calls to visit other farms and ranches to look at their animals, mostly horses.

Eric and I exchange a lot of tender glances, and there have been a few more chaste kisses, but I don't really know where we stand. Is he my boyfriend? Are we just friends? We haven't really spent any time alone to talk about it. He's been busy moving, settling his dad's affairs, and getting his little vet practice set up at Dauntless. Every time we do get a little time to ourselves the phone rings with another rancher wanting Eric to check out a horse. Either that or Al shows up. It's getting annoying.

Today is a special day. It would have been Tobias' 33rd birthday. I get up early and bake two Dauntless cakes. Zeke, Shauna, Bella, and Hanna are coming out tonight, and since the weather has been so unseasonably warm for early November, we're going to try for one last bonfire before winter rolls in. Before that, Eric and I are taking a ride to the cemetery, just as I promised at his father's funeral.

I'm saddling Lightning when Eric walks into the old barn and greets me with a chaste kiss and a "good morning" that still sounds gruff from sleep.

"How are you?" he asks, concern in his voice and in the tender way he rubs my shoulder.

I finish tightening Lightning's saddle and stand to face him. "I'm fine, thank you," I reply, hoping to convey strength in my voice and my eyes. "Which horse will you be riding?" I ask him.

"I thought I'd leave that up to the boss," he says. "Do you have a suggestion?"

"Well," I think out loud, "I'll be on Lightning, obviously. Normally I would suggest Flash, but Uri has been riding him since his mare, Sally, is one of our expectant mothers. It's too bad we don't have an ultrasound machine out here; I think she might be having twins. Either that or she's farther along than we think, in which case I don't know who the sire is."

"Is Sally Uriah's horse, or just the one he usually rides?" Eric asks.

"Dauntless Sally Ann is Uriah's personal property," I answer. "She was a gift, kind of a performance bonus, after his first full year on the ranch. He named her after his grandmother. I guess she was a tough old lady, and when Uri thought about a "dauntless" name, she came to mind. Sally's foal, or foals, are joint property between Uriah and I. His mare, my stallion. We decided when we bred her that either I'll buy out his half of the foal's value and keep it as one of mine on the ranch or we'll sell it and split the money."

"Do the other ranch hands own horses?" he asks.

"No," I reply. "At least not here at Dauntless. I know Matthew's parents have horses on their farm, but none of them are here. They each have their preferred animals that they ride when working, but they belong to Dauntless.

"I think Cowboy would be a good fit for you. Would you like to ride him today?" I suggest.

"That sounds good," says Eric. "I'll go get him from the east pole barn."

I close Lightning's stall door and go to the tack room for a saddle that will fit Eric. When I walk out into the barn he's there with Cowboy, petting his velvety nose and speaking gently to the large animal.

We mount up and head out into the pasture lands. I own roughly 2,400 acres of the great state of Montana. 500 acres of that, the flats on the far western edge of my property, are leased to a wheat farmer. A few acres in the middle of the northern border house the farmhouse, bunkhouses, barns, and other outbuildings. The rest is wild grassland separated from the neighbors by barbed wire fence and gravel roads. There are a few stands of scraggly trees dotted around the property, and a creek that meanders through the eastern portion of the ranch. We have divided the land into three pastures. The east pasture runs from the bunkhouses to the edge of the property in the northeast corner. The south pasture covers the southeast quarter. The west pasture runs down the middle from the north to south borders of my land, just west of the house. It's a long strip of land, and the flattest of the three pastures as it borders the flat wheat fields on the far end of my land.

The old settlers' cemetery is on the far southern edge of the west pasture, a flat piece of ground near a copse of scraggly burr oak trees. That's where we buried Tobias. As Eric and I ride out to visit his grave, I tell Eric how he came to be buried here.

We didn't know the graveyard was on the property when we bought it. These old settlers' cemeteries don't exactly stand out, as they didn't put up big marble markers in rural burial grounds a hundred years ago. Most of the graves had simple wooden crosses that didn't survive many Montana winters. We only found the place because I literally stumbled across a stone marker one day when Tobias and I rode out to explore this section of our land.

We went back the next day with a truck full of landscaping supplies. We uncovered a few stone markers and tried to establish the boundaries of the graveyard. Tobias fenced off the cemetery with barbed wire to keep the horses out. Not that the dead care about being visited by horses, but Tobias felt it was the respectful thing to do.

When he died, I talked to the local undertaker about burying Tobias out here. He agreed that since it was an established graveyard already, I was welcome to do so. I selected a simple grey headstone for my young husband. It stands out above the tiny markers that were already here, but it's small compared to most modern gravestones. Uriah and Zeke insisted on building a real fence around the graveyard, and the rustic split rails that now surround the piece of land were a labor of love by the men who now refer to themselves as my brothers. Even after more than eight years, I still feel a lump in my throat when I think of the two of them out here working their tails off in the August sun to build this for their fallen friend.

Eric and I approach the fence and climb off our mounts, throwing the reins over fence rails. We're quiet as I lead the way through the gate and across the graveyard to Tobias' stone marker.

"Happy birthday, Tobias," I whisper, my hand resting on top of his stone.

Remembering how Eric introduced me to his family in the church yard, I decide to do the same.

"This is Eric," I say in a stronger voice. "I don't know if you met him personally, but you knew his father. Eric is Old Man Coulter's son. His father died recently, but you probably already know that... Eric has been gone for most of the last eight years, going to school to be a vet. He came home to take care of his dad. We've become good friends, and now he's living here at Dauntless and taking care of the horses." I trail off, not knowing what else to say.

Eric clears his throat beside me and addresses the headstone. "Tobias, I don't remember much about you, but I know you were a good man. You worked hard and loved your wife. People around here still talk about you with great respect, and not just when Tris is around. You were blessed with a good woman, and I'm sorry you didn't get more years with her. You'll be happy to know that despite everything Tris has been through, she is still one of the sweetest and most caring and generous people I've ever met. She works hard, and she's built Dauntless into a quality operation."

Eric turns to face me and wipes the stray tear from my cheek. He blushes slightly, his neck reddening, and says, "Would you mind giving us a minute so we can speak man-to-man?"

I'm surprised by this odd request, but I nod my head and walk back to sit on the fence near the horses. I watch Eric shift his weight from one foot to the other and make a few gestures with his hands, but I can't hear what he's saying.

Suddenly, the sound of galloping hooves breaks the stillness. I spin around and see a lone figure on a horse approaching quickly. By the size of the rider, I think it's Matthew.

"Tris! Eric!" he hollers as he approached. Eric rushes to me, and we mount our horses as quickly as we can.

"We need you in the barn!" he yells. "There's something wrong with Flash!"

Eric and I spur our horses to a run, and all three of us race back to the barn. We dismount, and I take the reins from Eric, holding Lightning and Cowboy so he can rush into the barn. Matthew ties his horse, Whiplash, to the fence, then takes the other two from me so I can go into the barn as well.

Flash is standing in his stall, breathing heavily. Uriah holds him still while Eric draws several small vials of blood. I notice Marlene standing a few feet away. Flash seems distressed, his eyes wild and panicked, and I'm not sure if it's from discomfort or because of the blood draw.

"What happened?" I ask Uriah.

"He's agitated," Uri says sharply, obviously upset. "He didn't eat this morning. He's breathing heavy, and there's blood in his urine. Mar thinks he might have gotten into something he shouldn't have eaten."

"Like what?" I ask, trying to piece together where Flash had been grazing for the past couple of days.

"I don't know," Uri replies. "He didn't get into the garden recently, did he?"

"No, none of the horses have gotten out lately, and the garden is pretty much empty anyway."

"Well, his breath reeks like onions," says Uriah, wrinkling his nose.

Marlene and Eric's heads snap up at that comment. They look at each other and nod.

"We have to run this blood into the vet's office in town so we can look at it," says Eric. "Clean out Lightning's stall and move Flash over there. Don't give him anything but water until you hear from me."

I nod and move to the next stall to start cleaning it out. I scoop then sweep the bedding from the floor, remove the feed box, and dump the water bucket, rinsing it well before refilling it. Uriah moves Flash into the clean stall, and while he gets him settled, I turn to Flash's usual space.

Since he didn't eat this morning, I figure I can dump the feed back into the bin. I grab his feed box and am immediately repulsed by the strong odor of onion. Onion and garlic are toxic to horses, dogs, and many other animals. I bring the box out into the main part of the barn and dump its contents onto the floor. There, beneath the morning feed, are the remnants of several partially eaten onions.

"Uriah!" I yell, despite the fact that he's less than ten feet away.

"What?" he asks, panic in his voice.

I point to the pile on the floor, and shock washes over Uri's features. "Is that…"

"Onion." I say. I throw in a few choice expletives, and pull out my cell phone to take a picture.

I don't get cell coverage in the barn, so I cross to the wall-mounted phone. "Did they Take Eric's truck or Marlene's?" I ask Uriah.

"Marlene's," he answers. "She ran for her keys before you got back. Keys for the vet's office, too. They're closed this afternoon but Dr. Jones okayed her coming in to use the lab equipment since this is an emergency."

I dial Eric's cell number and he picks up almost immediately.

"It's onion," I tell him. "Uriah and I found the remnants of several onions in Flash's feed box."

"What kind of idiot puts onion in a horse's feed box!?" roars Eric.

"I don't know," I spit, anger giving my words a hard edge. "I'm going to find out. In the meantime, what do we do?"

Eric goes over the next steps, which from our end is just to keep an eye on Flash until they return from the vet's office. We hang up, and I clean up the mess on the floor, scooping it into a bucket far from the other horses.

Just as I finish that, Al bursts through the barn door. "Tris! What happened?" he asks. "Matthew told me there's something wrong with Flash!" He walks straight up to me and pulls me into an unwanted hug. "And on Tobias' birthday, too. You must be devastated."

He rubs my back, and I try to pull away, but I'm no match for the large man. I push against his chest and manage to free myself after a minute.

"Flash got into some onion," I say to Al, watching his face for a reaction. "Do you know who did the feeding this morning?"

"I think Eric did," Al says. "I came out to feed this morning, and he was already in here. He told me he took care of the barn horses. Where is he, by the way?"

"I don't think so," says Uriah from inside the stall with Flash. Al jumps, startled, and begins backing away. "Eric had breakfast with Marlene and I this morning. We walked out here together. It was your turn to feed this morning, and you were already well into the chore when we came along. What's your game, Al?"

Al raises his hands as if in surrender. "You… You can't be serious," he stammers, backing toward the door. "I've been here a year and a half, working my tail off. Ever since Eric showed up, strange things have been happening. Now you're trying to blame me? I think he's the real problem! I told you he's trying to get Dauntless from you! I told you he's using you! He'll break your heart, Tris! You'll see!"

"Damn it Al!" yells Uriah. "I just caught you in a bald-faced lie, and you're blaming it on Eric?! He was with me this morning, and with Tris ever since. You're the one who was out here alone! Now either you gave Flash the onions or you were too stupid to notice them in his box when you fed him this morning. Either way, you're a terrible employee who endangered the life of one of our animals!"

"It wasn't supposed to kill him!" yells Al, and I gasp. "I just gave him enough to make him sick. I wanted to ruin your little date with Eric! I wanted you to see that he's no good for you! I wanted you to turn to me!" he rages.

Uriah and I stare at each other, mouths agape, speechless. Once I collect myself, I swallow hard and look at Al with the coldest glare I can muster.

"Al," I say, "you're fired. You have until sundown today to get your things together and get off my property."

"But, Tris… I…. I mean…. I didn't…." he stammers.

I hold up my hand to stop him. "I'm not discussing this. Get out of my sight."

Al makes no move, so Uriah comes out of the horse stall and steps toward my now ex-employee. Al looks from Uriah to me and back again before fleeing the barn. As soon as he's out of sight, Uri heads for the phone.

"I'm calling the sheriff," he says. I nod, completely at a loss and unable to make any other response.

While Uriah makes the phone call, I let myself into the stall with Flash. He's still breathing hard. I rub his nose, then press my face into the side of his neck, wrapping my arm around his warm neck so his head is draped over my shoulder. Tears come then, quickly escalating to body-shaking sobs. I don't know how long I stand there before the stall door opens and warm arms envelope me.

"Tris," says Eric's deep, soothing voice. "He's going to be okay. I can fix this. Flash will be alright soon."

"Are you… Are you sure?" I sob.

"I promise, Baby," says Eric. "Now can you go with Marlene so Uriah and I can take care of Flash?"

I nod, mutely, and Eric turns me so we're facing one another. He gives me a bear hug, running one hand down the length of my braid. He gently kisses my forehead and guides me toward Marlene. She looks pissed, so Uriah must have told her about Al while I was with Eric.

I hug Uri so I can whisper in his ear. "Can you tell Eric what happened?" I ask.

Uriah nods against my hair and whispers back, "I'll wait until the sheriff gets here so Eric can worry about Flash instead of murdering Al."

I nod. "Good idea," I whisper back.

He hands me to Marlene, and she leads me to the farmhouse. Cocoa and Hershey, sensing my mood, follow us.

.

xxxx

.

Marlene helps me clean myself up and prepares us a light lunch. Uriah helps Eric with Flash and then keeps him from killing Al. I don't know what I would do without these two.

When Sheriff Peterson and deputy Roy Lester arrive, they interview Eric and Uriah, look over Flash, and examine the evidence I found in the feed box. Then they come to the house, and I give my statement while Marlene serves coffee and cookies.

"Mrs. Eaton," says the sheriff. I glare at him. "Sorry. _Tris_," he says. Evan Peterson is only two years older than me, and I've known him since Tobias and I bought Dauntless. If I had a dollar for every time I reminded him to call me by my first name, I could buy another ranch.

"It seems like this is an open and shut case," Evan says. "Al obviously poisoned one of your animals, but Eric tells me that the horse in question will make a full recovery. Off the record, what do you want me to do? I can lock him up for animal cruelty and let the court handle it, or I could simply escort him off your property and to the county line. What would you like?"

I think about it for a moment. "Could you arrest him and keep him in jail overnight?" I ask. "Then tomorrow I drop the charges provided he agrees to leave the county and not return?"

"I can," the sheriff agrees.

"That way he'll get a good scare, but I don't have to deal with any ongoing nonsense or legal fees. If Eric says that Flash is going to be alright, then all I really want is for Al to leave and never show his face around here again."

Evan nods to his deputy, and the two men put their hats on as they walk out my door and straight for the bunkhouses. I follow as far as the barn, pointing out which unit is Al's. Eric and Uriah have stepped out of the barn, and Marlene and I join them. Eric puts an arm around my shoulders, and I see that Uriah has done the same with Marlene.

"How is Flash?" I ask.

"Resting comfortably," says Eric. "He'll be just fine in a day or two."

"Thank you, Dr. Coulter," I say, smirking.

"You're welcome, Mrs. Eaton," says Eric, "I'll send you my bill."

"Oh yeah? And just how much is this going to cost me?"

"Hmmm," he pretends to consider his answer. "I think three slices of Dauntless cake for me, and two each for my assistants here. That should cover it."

"Well," I reply, "it's a good thing I have two whole Dauntless cakes sitting in my kitchen for tonight's get together."

"Yes!" exclaims Uriah, pumping his fist like the lovable idiot man-child that he is.

We laugh, then Eric stops abruptly and tightens the arm around me. I look up, and Sheriff Peterson and his deputy are walking toward us, leading a handcuffed Al.

"Mrs. Eaton," says the sheriff, "I'm sorry for your trouble. I'll give you a call tomorrow about the charges against Albert Connors."

"Thank you, _Sheriff Peterson_," I say, emphasizing his formal title. He shakes his head at me and I roll my eyes. "Thanks, Evan. Thanks, Roy."

"See you later, Tris," says the deputy. "Thanks for the coffee and cookies!"


	7. Chapter 7: Tobias' Birthday Party

I've said it before and I'll say it again and again. I have the best friends ever.

After the sheriff left, taking Al with him, Eric stepped up to help Uriah for the rest of the afternoon. Matthew had to go out to the west pasture to fix a break in the fence, and Marlene and I were busy getting the food ready for Tobias' birthday celebration. By the time Matthew returned, Eric and Uri had everything taken care of in the barn. Matthew had a date planned, but he generously offered to postpone it. Thanks to Eric, he didn't need to.

Marlene and I got dinner ready before the rest of the Pedrad clan arrived. We roasted a ham in the oven, and made enough mashed potatoes and gravy for a small army. We also prepared rolls, beverages, and a couple of the side dishes.

.

xxxx

.

Zeke and Shauna arrive right on time, bringing the Pedrad's mother, Hanna, and my niece, Bella. I'm alerted to their arrival by the friendly chorus of barks from my dogs.

"Hee-she! Cocoa!" Three-year-old Bella squeals as her father unloads her from the car. Zeke carries the excited toddler so she won't get knocked over by my equally excited chocolate labs, but Bella squirms and wiggles to be set free. Zeke complies when he gets to the porch, and Bella tries desperately to wrap the wiggling dogs in loving hugs. The dogs aren't crazy about being grabbed by the little girl, but they wag their tails and manage to get in a few doggy kisses on Bella's chubby cheeks.

We all laugh at the exuberant greeting, and Bella notices Marlene and I behind the screen door. "Auntie Maweene! Auntie Tiss!" she yells.

We step onto the porch to hug and kiss our adorable, wild little niece. Bella looks like a perfect combination of Zeke and Shauna, but her excitable, energetic nature is all Pedrad.

"Cake?" she asks me when it's my turn for a hug. I'm pretty sure that, like her Uncle Uri and a certain handsome veterinarian I know, Bella mostly loves me for my cake.

"After dinner," I promise, earning a big grin.

"Whewe Unca Ooey?" she asks. I love the way Bella says "Uncle Uri" like she's talking about ooey gooey fudge. I know she'll get the L and R sounds soon enough, but I really hope the name sticks. I don't think I'm the only one, either. Last week at church I heard Shauna say something to Bella about "Uncle Ooey."

"Should we ring the bell?" I ask my niece, who nods vigorously. I carry Bella to the dinner bell and hold her so she can reach the rope. It clanks and bonks awkwardly as she tries pulling with her chubby toddler hand.

"You do it," Bella orders me. "Loud."

She covers her ears, and I yank the cord back and forth, making a loud racket. A minute later, Uri emerges from the barn and calls out, "Was that my Bella ringing?"

"Unca Ooey!" she screams, nearly diving out of my arms.

I set Bella on the ground and she takes off running toward her uncle. Just then, Eric emerges from the barn and Bella stops dead in her tracks. Uriah is close to her, so he grabs the little girl and throws her in the air - their usual greeting. Bella doesn't laugh, she just stares at Eric and buries her head in Uriah's shoulder shyly.

"Who dat?" I hear her ask her uncle.

"That's our friend Eric," Uriah explains. "He's helping me and Auntie Tris with the horses. Eric is a doctor for horsies."

"Hosie sick?" Bella asks, concerned enough to peel her eyes off the stranger for a second as she looks to Uriah for an answer.

"One horsie is sick," Uri says. "But Dr. Eric is fixing him. Some of the horses have baby horsies in their tummies, too, and Dr. Eric is making sure they're healthy."

As Uriah finishes his explanation, Eric catches up with them. "You must be Bella," he says to the little girl. "Your Uncle Uriah and Auntie Tris told me all about you."

Bella just buries her face in Uriah's shoulder and refuses to acknowledge the large stranger.

"Are you sure she's a Pedrad?" Eric teases Zeke as they shake hands in greeting. "I've never seen one of you so quiet."

"It won't last," says Shauna, stepping off the porch to greet Eric with a hug.

He exchanges hugs with Hanna as well. "What's this I hear about a sick horse?" Hanna asks him.

"We've had quite the day!" says Uriah, launching into the story about Al, Flash, and the onions.

As Uri tells his family about our crazy day, Eric steps beside me and puts an arm around me. I lean my head on his shoulder and ask, "Are you sure he'll be okay?"

"Uriah?" asks Eric. "No. I'm pretty sure Hanna dropped him on his head at some point."

I giggle. "I already knew that," I say. "I was asking about Flash."

"He's fine," Eric assures me for the millionth time today. "I promise."

I look up and see an "I-told-you-so" look on Shauna's face. Whether that's because Eric and I are being so cozy, or because of Al, I'm not sure. When Uriah finishes his story, everyone is riveted, even Bella. Uri is a great storyteller. He probably worked in some exaggerations when Eric and I weren't paying attention.

"Unca Ooey," asks Bella, serious-faced for once. "What about the bad man? He gonna huit the hosies 'gain?"

"No way!" says Uriah. "The sheriff took him to jail, and he's not allowed to come back. Eric, Matthew and I won't let him!"

"Auntie Mar and Auntie Tris won't let him either!" I say. "Girls can be just as tough as boys, Bella-boo."

"Yeah!" Bella cheers.

I herd the family into the farmhouse, and I love the way my quiet home fills with laughter and life. The younger women are busy in the kitchen. We dish up food and I carry things to the dining room. Hanna and the men hang out in the living room, and Bella is everywhere at once. Zeke and Uriah end up wrestling with each other while Hanna and Eric exchange stories about Eric's father, whom Hanna knew since childhood.

"Dinner's ready!" I call. Bella runs to the table and hops up and down by her booster chair. Hanna grabs a magazine off the coffee table and whacks her sons with it to stop the wrestling match. Eric makes his way to the kitchen and asks me if there is anything he can help with. I assure him it's covered, and he gives me a quick kiss.

I walk into the dining room with a heaping dish of mashed potatoes and catch Eric trying to make friends with Bella, who is still being shy.

"Can I help you into your seat, Miss Bella?" Eric asks, squatting in front of my niece.

Bella shakes her head and averts her gaze.

I slip into the kitchen, cut a tiny, tiny sliver off one of the Dauntless cakes, and lay it on a plate. I take a small spoon from the drawer and go back to the dining room.

Eric has moved to a chair at the opposite end of the table from Bella's seat, and the toddler is keeping her eye on him from behind a chair. I slide the plate in front of Eric, nod toward Bella, and give him a wink as I walk back to the kitchen.

Not three minutes later I return to the dining room with a pitcher of lemonade and the gravy boat, and find a chocolate-faced Bella sitting on Eric's lap, jabbering away. I stifle a laugh and grab a napkin to clean Bella's face and hide the evidence.

The family files in to the dining room, and Shauna tries to lift her daughter from Eric's lap. "No!" Bella declares. "I sit Unca Docta."

"Uncle Doctor," Marlene laughs, "I like it!"

"Him hosie docta!" declares Bella, brightly.

"Let's all sit in our own chairs," Zeke tells his daughter. "Uncle Horsie Doctor needs to eat his dinner, too."

Bella plants a kiss on Eric's cheek before Zeke lifts her off his lap. I pull out the seat next to Eric, and he leans in to whisper in my ear. "I told you that Dauntless cake is magic."

"That girl would get in a van with a kidnapper for chocolate, just like her Uncle 'Ooey,'" I say.

.

xxxx

.

Dinner is a lively affair, capped off by a chorus of "Happy Birthday" and thick slices of Dauntless cake in honor of Tobias. While everyone is singing I glance up at the sideboard, to a wedding photo of Tobias and I. I smile thinking of how much he would have enjoyed this day with our makeshift family. I wonder how many kids we would have adopted by now, and how different my life would be if he had lived.

Fortunately the weather holds, and after cleaning up the kitchen we have a bonfire in the yard. I think this is the latest we've been able to do this in all my years at Dauntless. I grab a seat on one of the ancient stumps around my fire pit while Uriah starts the blaze.

Eric sits down beside me, his new buddy Bella trailing not far behind. He lifts Bella onto his knee and nudges me with his shoulder. I lean in to him and share a smile with my niece. My melancholy from earlier has stayed with me a bit, but at the same time I'm content.

"I need to check on Flash again this evening," says Eric in a low tone.

"Fash?" asks Bella "Hosies?"

"Flash is one of her favorites," I tell Eric. "She's going to want to tag along. Is he presentable for visitors?" I raise an eyebrow at him, trying to convey my concern about traumatizing the little girl with the sight of a sick horse.

"Well," answers Eric, sounding amused, "Flash _is_ naked, but I think he's up for visitors."

Bella laughs loudly, turning everyone's attention toward us. "Hosie naked!" she says between giggles.

I explain Eric's joke to the family and tell them that the three of us are going to check on Flash.

Bella insists on holding hands with both me and "Uncle Doctor" on the way to the barn, and she jabbers away on the short walk. I hear Cocoa and Hershey's names in the mix, as well as something about Grandma, but I'm not really paying attention. Instead, I'm focused on the tall, muscular man who appears to be hanging on her every word.

I don't know where Eric got experience with kids, but he certainly knows how to interact with Bella. As she jabbers, his face is animated, and he throws in occasional comments like, "Wow!" and "No way!" This fuels Bella's stories even more, and her tall tales get bigger and bigger as we walk across the yard and into the barn at toddler pace.

In the barn, Eric hits the light switch while I scoop Bella into my arms. We look at the pregnant mares while Eric checks on Flash. When he assures me, yet again, that Tobias' horse is fine, and fit for visitors as long as they stay out of his stall, I bring Bella over there. I remind her that Flash is sick, so we need to be quiet and gentle. She looks at me with serious eyes and squeezes her lips shut.

As we walk up to the stallion's stall, I'm pleased to see that he looks less distressed than he did earlier in the day. I help Bella gently pet his nose, and he doesn't shy away.

"He looks better," I say to Eric, emotion weakening my voice.

"I told you; he's going to be fine. Didn't you believe me?" There's a shade of hurt in Eric's words, and tears roll down my cheeks.

"Oh Tris," he says huskily, coming out of Flash's stall to envelope me in a hug, Bella and all.

"Auntie Tiss, no sad," says Bella, her bottom lip quivering.

"I'm not sad," I say, smiling at the little girl as I lean into Eric. "I'm happy because Doctor Eric fixed Flash. I thought it might take a long time for him to get better, but he's getting better quickly. Sometimes, when a person is scared and they suddenly stop being scared, it makes them cry. I was scared about Flash all day, but now I see he's going to be better really soon, and it made me cry."

Bella smiles, and I gaze up at Eric. My explanation was as much for him as for the toddler in my arms. "I don't doubt your veterinary skills or your word," I say, looking deep into his soft grey eyes. "I'm just a mother hen worried about one of her brood."

Eric leans down and kisses me softly, causing Bella to giggle and cover her eyes.

We spend the rest of the evening curled up in an old blanket by the fire. Bella never leaves her newly adopted uncle's side, and neither do I. Sharing a blanket with Eric is toasty warm; his big body generates a lot of heat. It doesn't take long before Bella is asleep, and I can tell I'm not far behind.

It's too cold to stay outside very late. We talk about going in and digging up some board games, but dealing with Flash, Al, and the birthday party made for a long day. I carry Bella to the car, and Shauna straps her sleeping daughter into her seat.

"How is it that she always ends up sleeping on your lap?" asks Shauna. "Little fireball hasn't fallen asleep in my arms since she was a tiny baby."

"Today I'd say the chilly evening and sharing a blanket with Dr. Space Heater did the trick," I reply.

"Speaking of 'Uncle Doctor,'" says Shauna, waggling her eyebrows. "You two seem pretty cozy."

I blush. "We've kissed a few times," I admit quietly. "And today he went with me to visit Tobias' grave."

"So are you, like, boyfriend and girlfriend?" Shauna probes.

"I don't know," I admit. "We haven't talked about it. This isn't as easy as it was in high school."

Shauna laughs. "It wasn't easy then, either. I had the biggest crush on Zeke all through high school. Before that, even! I got my heart broken on a regular basis as he dated his way through every girl in town. Senior year he finally admitted that he'd had a crush on me for just as long. He only dated those other girls because he thought I wasn't interested. When he told me that, I smacked him! Literally! I slugged him right in the shoulder. We wasted so much time…"

I laugh and shake my head. "Things work out for a reason," I tell my friend. "If you had gotten together at 14, you would have been pregnant by 16 and you know it!"

"You're probably right," Shauna laughs. "We had to grow up a bit so we wouldn't do something stupid."

"Well, _you_ grew up," I say, pointing at her husband, who is trying to juggle three beer cans instead of loading the car like Shauna asked. He misses one of the beer cans, and it hits the ground, bursting open and spraying its contents all over Zeke.

"Damn it, Zeke!" Shauna yells, though I hear laughter in her voice. "Now you're going to get pulled over on the way home, and Sheriff Evan will smell that and make you take a field sobriety test!"

This gets us all laughing, and we make Shauna promise to record a video if it happens. I step into the house to find a towel for Zeke. Eric follows me up the porch steps, a pile of neatly folded old quilts in his arms. He deposits them in their place in the waterproof box on my porch.

Without me even asking, he takes out the kitchen garbage, gathering trash in the yard on his way to the bin. He's good-looking, helpful, good with kids, and a doctor to boot. How is this guy still single, and what is he doing here with me?

.

xxxx

.

Eric hangs around when the Pedrads all leave. He asks if there is anything else he can help with, but I assure him that it's all cleaned up. We sit down at the kitchen table, and I offer to make a pot of decaf coffee, but Eric declines.

"Will you be okay by yourself tonight?" he asks, his face full of concern.

"I've been okay here by myself for most of the last eight years," I remind him. "Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays - they can be hard. But it's been a long day, so after a shower to wash off the bonfire smell I'll just head to bed. Tomorrow I have a ranch to run. Life goes on."

"May I ask what you were thinking about when we were singing the birthday song?" Eric asks gently as he reaches across the table for my hand. "You seemed out of it for a minute there, and you've been a bit melancholy ever since."

I sigh. "It's nothing," I say, trying to brush off his concern and keep my emotions in check.

Eric reaches across the small table to take my chin in his hand. He forces me to look into his sincere grey eyes. "Tris," he says, "your feelings matter. You don't have to talk about it with me if you don't want to, but don't tell me it doesn't matter. You can tell me that you miss Tobias. You can even tell me that you wish he was here instead of me. I can take it."

Tears spill over my lower lashes. "Eric, don't say things like that," I admonish. "I can honestly say that thought has never crossed my mind. I gave up wishing things were different a long time ago. I've accepted my losses and my life the way it is now. It's just…" my voice breaks as another wave of tears washes over my face. "I just…"

I can't choke out the words. My nerves are frayed by the day we've had - the memories, the fear of losing Flash on Tobias' birthday, Al's arrest and knowing he'll be here again tomorrow to get his things. I'm exhausted and emotional. I lay my head on my arms and sob.

In a heartbeat Eric is around the table and on his knees beside my chair. He pulls me into his arms, and somehow we end up on the kitchen floor as Eric holds me like a child and I sob into his shoulder.

"I… I just… We wanted a family," I stammer between sobs. "We were… We were working on adopting. Tobias couldn't have kids, so we were… paperwork… plans… Then it was all just... gone. In one moment… I'm an island... There is no generation before me, and no generation after. The Prior and Eaton families ended the day Tobias died. I'm just the caboose who has to watch it all dissolve away.

"Sometimes, I see Hanna with her family and I think about my mom. She never visited my home. I think about my dad, who wasn't there to walk me down the aisle or perform my wedding ceremony. They went to bed one night and just didn't wake up.

"I see Bella and I wonder what kind of family Tobias and I would have had - what it would be like to live every day in a house full of noise and life. When Tobias… When he died, I lost more than the man I loved. I lost the future. I lost the last of my family and the dream that there could be more."

At this point I dissolve completely into a sobbing, sniveling mess. Eric doesn't say anything, he just holds me tightly as I cry.

Eventually I get a hold on my emotions. "I'm so sorry," I whisper. "I hate breaking down like this. I'm sorry you had to see it."

"I'm not," says Eric, his voice soft and deep. "You were there with me when Dad died. You know I've felt some of the same losses. I know the 'last man standing' feeling. I'm sorry today was hard for you, but I'm glad I'm here to walk through it with you."

He lifts me off his lap and stands up. We walk into the living room, where Eric sits me on the couch and tucks a blanket around me before walking to the kitchen. He comes back with a glass of water and two ibuprofen.

"Crying always gives me a headache," he explains. "Do you need these?"

I accept the pills gratefully and take them, draining the glass of water. He refills my glass and seats himself beside me on the sofa.

"How are you feeling?" he asks gently.

"Better," I say, averting my eyes shyly. "Tired."

Eric stands, kisses me gently on the forehead, then proceeds to walk around the main level of my house. He checks the lock on the seldom-used front door, looks at the windows, checks the stove, and shuts off all the lights except the one in the kitchen and the lamp beside me.

"Can I tuck you in?" he asks. "I promise to lock up on my way out."

I agree, still feeling vulnerable and exhausted after my breakdown. We walk upstairs, and Eric sits in a chair near my bed while I take a quick shower and get ready. When I come out of the bathroom in my pajamas, he stands wordlessly and pulls back the covers on my side of the bed. I climb in, flooded with memories of my childhood, and being tucked in by my parents.

Eric pulls the blankets up over my shoulders and brushes the hair away from my face. He sits on the edge of my bed and rests a hand on my cheek. "Your life isn't over," he says softly. "It's new, and different from the one you planned, but it's far from over."

I nod, unable to speak as I fight to stay awake. Eric leans in and gently kisses my forehead, then stands up. He lingers a moment beside my bed, then crosses to the door. As he lets himself out of my room I think I hear him whisper, "I love you," as I drift off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8: Changing Roles

**For guest reviewer Cynthia. Feel better soon.**

**I** wake up to bright sunlight streaming through my bedroom windows. I feel great, and I stretch as I revel in the promise of a new day and the smell of coffee and bacon wafting up the stairs.

_Wait_. The smell of coffee and bacon? In the eight years I've lived alone, breakfast has never made itself, and I doubt it's starting now. And what time is it, anyway? I whip my head around to see the clock. I should have been up hours ago! Why didn't my alarm go off? Uriah is going to be furious with me; I was supposed to help him with the morning chores! I'm going to miss church, too! And who is in my kitchen cooking bacon?!

I scramble out of bed, nearly falling when my legs get tangled in the sheets. I grab the first clean-ish clothes I can find and start throwing them on. Just then, the dinner bell on my porch rings, and I grab a ponytail holder as I rush down the stairs.

As I barrel into the kitchen, Marlene greets me with a cheerful, "Good morning, Sleepy Head!"

"What is going on here?" I ask, panting from my hurried dressing and run down the stairs.

"The vet ordered us to let you sleep this morning," she says with a smirk. "I guess he shut off your alarm last night, then he showed up in the barn to help Uri with the chores this morning, and sent me over to make breakfast."

"Vet's orders? What am I, a horse?" I ask wryly.

"Not with a tail like that," she teases, indicating my wild hair. "Take this coffee and go run a comb through your mane. Put a clean shirt on, too, that one's a wrinkled mess." She hands me a mug and shoos me out of my own kitchen.

When I come back five minutes later, Uriah and Eric are sitting at the table, and Marlene is handing them heaping plates of eggs, bacon, and fried potatoes. I pour myself another cup of coffee before joining them at the table while Marlene dishes up plates for the two of us.

"Thanks for the heart attack this morning," I say to Eric, nudging him as I take my seat.

"You needed the sleep and you know it," he says defensively, shoveling a bite of potatoes into his mouth.

"I know, Eric," I say. "Thank you. I did need the sleep." We smile shyly at one another, and Marlene giggles.

"You should have heard it when she woke up. It sounded like a whole herd of buffalo was running around the house! I thought the ceiling was going to collapse on my head!"

"I thought Uriah was going to kill me for not helping with the chores this morning! Then I was really confused about why my house smelled like bacon and coffee."

We all laugh, and the men give me an update on Flash's condition as we finish our breakfast. I'm glad to hear the horse had a good night. They assure me he'll be back to his old self in no time.

"Uri and I are heading to church," says Marlene. "Do you think you and Eric can manage the breakfast dishes?"

"I don't know," I tease, "I've gotten pretty lazy all of a sudden. Will you be home for lunch?"

"No," says Uriah. "We'll grab lunch in town, then I'm stopping by the Sheriff's office. Are you still set on dropping the charges against Al?"

"There's no need to charge him," I say. "I want him off my property for good, but since Flash is going to make a full recovery there's no need to lock up Al, or deal with lawyers and all that."

"I'm staying here with you today," says Eric. "And Uri and Mar should be back before Al comes for his stuff. You don't have to see him if you don't want to. We can handle it."

"I'm not afraid of Al," I say, disgust in my voice. "He's a sad, cowardly man, and an idiot to boot. What kind of psycho decides to get the girl by poisoning her horse?!"

We all shake our heads, and I think of one more question before Uriah leaves. "Did Al have any tack or personal possessions out in the barn?" I ask.

Uriah thinks for a minute. "I don't think so. Just a jacket he kept out there. Why?"

"Because when he comes back for his things, I don't want him anywhere near my barns," I reply. "We'll look around out there, and if I find anything I'll leave it on the porch of his bunkhouse. If Evan gives you any grief about dropping the charges on my behalf, have him call me. I think it will be fine, though; we talked about it yesterday when he was here."

Uriah nods, and he and Marlene take their leave.

Eric and I make quick work of the breakfast dishes, and pour ourselves another cup of coffee. We move out to the porch and sit side-by-side on the swing. Hershey and Cocoa stay nearby, enjoying occasional pats on the head. It's chilly this morning, so I snuggle a little closer to Eric. He takes the hint and puts his arm around me.

"How are you this morning, really?" he asks me.

"I'm better," I reply. "I mean that. Thank you for putting up with me last night and taking such good care of me. I sort of unraveled on you, and you handled it like a champ."

"I like taking care of you," he confesses softly.

I smile, my cheek pressed against his side. "Can I ask you something?" I venture.

"Sure," he says. "Any time. You know that."

"What did you say to Tobias yesterday when we visited his grave?"

Eric blushes slightly, his neck reddening. "You know, guy stuff," he hedges.

"Boxers or briefs, beer commercials, that kind of thing?" I tease him.

He laughs. "No," he says, turning serious and staring into the distance. "I talked to him about something we have in common - a certain beautiful woman we both care for. I told him what a good job you're doing here, and how strong and brave you've been. I told him that we've become close, and that I have strong feelings for you. I told him that I want to take care of you, and that I know you'll always love him, but that I hope you can come to feel that way about me someday."

I gasp slightly at the admission, and Eric looks down at me. His eyes are wide, vulnerable, and I lose myself in their clear, grey depths. He leans slightly toward me, and I raise my mouth to meet his. The kiss starts slow, but builds in passion and intensity. I'm the first to pull away, and I look Eric in the eyes and say softly, "I love you, too."

"Too?" he whispers, seemingly dazed.

"I heard you last night," I confess. "As you left my room, I heard you say you loved me. I thought I dreamed it."

I run my hand lightly down Eric's cheek, feeling the faint rasp of stubble beneath my fingertips. He closes his eyes and sighs deeply - a calm, contented sound.

He opens his eyes and gazes lovingly at me. "Tris?" he asks. "I don't know how to do this without sounding like an awkward high schooler, but will you be my girlfriend? I love you, and I want to take care of you, and spoil you, and take you out on dates, and…"

I cut him off with a kiss. "Yes, Eric," I say as I pull away. "I will be your girlfriend. I love you, too, and I want to take care of you and go places with you, and have adventures, and make memories."

Eric turns to face me and nuzzles into my neck, placing kisses on the tender flesh under my ear and along my throat. That shuts me up, and I bite back a groan.

"I want all of that, too," he whispers in my ear. "But right now I think we should find something else to do before we go too fast. Would you like to see how Flash is doing this morning?"

I nod, not trusting my voice, and we stand up. The dogs join us as we walk hand-in-hand to the barn.

I'm surprised to see Flash back in his own stall this morning, and Lightning is back in her usual spot. Both horses look normal to me, and I see traces of feed in Flash's box.

"He ate this morning?" I ask.

"Like a horse," confirms Eric with a smile. "Actually I didn't let him have too much, but he seems to be handling it well. He had IV fluids yesterday and plenty of water, and he seems to have passed most of the onion already. He can go out to pasture tomorrow, as long as there is no wild onion out there, and in a couple days he'll be strong enough to ride."

"Thank you, Eric," I say, throwing my arms around him. He kisses me again, and things start to get heated, both of us letting our hands wander a bit.

"This is going to be hard," I say, my cheeks reddening.

"It's already hard," Eric grumbles, and my blush deepens.

We pull apart, and I walk around the barn looking for things that belong to Al. All I find is the barn jacket Uri mentioned. Eric and I walk it to the bunkhouse and leave it near Al's door. We walk slowly back to the farmhouse, holding hands. It's lunchtime, but after the big breakfast Marlene made neither of us is hungry, at least not for food. We chat easily about the ranch and the animals.

I step into the kitchen and get us each a glass of lemonade, then we sit back down on the porch swing.

"Have you dated much?" I ask Eric.

"I went on dates in high school and college," he says. "My longest relationship was just under six months. Nice girls, mostly, but I wasn't ready to settle down, and never found someone who could change my mind. How about you?"

"Tobias and I were high school sweethearts," I say. "Since he passed I've been on a few dates, but not more than a couple times with anyone. In fact, the only guy I saw more than once was a railroad man named Max. After a few dates I found out he was married. Can you believe that?"

"What an ass," Eric snarls. "My parents had a great marriage and set a good example for Emma and I. I can't stand guys that cheat on their wives. Does this mean Tobias was the only one you ever had sex with?"

I blush, then nod in confirmation. "What about you?" I croak.

Eric chuckles. "For a formerly married woman, you're awfully shy talking about this."

"Tobias was extremely private, and I guess I am too. We both grew up in conservative families. His mom died when he was nine, so he barely remembered his parents together. Mine were great partners, and I knew they loved each other and me, but they weren't very touchy-feely. In fact, I came home from school one day when I was nine, and found my parents holding hands. I knew right away that something was wrong. It turns out my father's only brother had died out in Seattle.

"Tobias and I loved each other very much, and we were young, so we had an, um, an active life together. But we didn't talk about it, and didn't really, um, try new things. You know?"

My chest, neck, and cheeks are undoubtedly deep crimson at this point. Eric chuckles at my innocence.

"Don't laugh at me," I plead.

"Sorry," he says, though he's still chuckling. "I'm just surprised that you live on a ranch full of men, and you hang out with the Pedrad boys, and you're this uncomfortable talking about sex."

"The boys aren't half as bad as Shauna and Marlene!" I declare, "At least not in front of me, they're not. But you should hear those two! It doesn't help that I know they're talking about Zeke and Uri! The first time Marlene talked about oral sex I couldn't look Uriah in the eye for a week!"

Eric laughs loudly. "I can see how that would set you back in life," he says.

We chuckle for a moment, then I nudge Eric's knee with mine. "You're one to talk," I say. "I asked you how many girls you've been with, and you changed the subject. At least I answered!"

"Sorry," he says, his eyes teasing, "I got distracted by your adorable blush. I've been with three different women. The first was my high school prom date, Lauren. Don't worry, she doesn't live around here anymore. The other two were in college, and I had relationships with both of them."

"Anything kinky I should be forewarned about?" I say, trying to get over myself and tease him back.

"Why, Mrs. Eaton!" he says, feigning shock. "That's a very forward question coming from such a respectable lady."

I roll my eyes and nudge his knee again. He pretends to be deep in thought.

"Nothing I want to tell you now," he says. "I wouldn't want to scare you away."

I'm taking a drink of lemonade when he says that, and I choke, nearly spitting the cold liquid out of my nose. Eric roars with laughter, and once I can breathe again, I join his mirth.

When he gets control of himself, he leans over and places a chaste kiss on my cheek.

"You have nothing to worry about," he says gently. "I promise. If and when our relationship gets to that point, I will make sure that you are always comfortable and taken care of. And if you want to get creative, I'll come along on that adventure, too."

My cheeks get hot again, and not from embarrassment this time.

"I need to change the subject," I say quietly.

"Good idea," Eric replies, adjusting his pants a little. "Is there anything else you want to know about me?"

We converse for a few minutes about surface things like our middle names (mine is Grace, Eric's is Charles), favorite colors (green for me, blue for Eric), and what kind of music and TV shows we like. It's light and innocent, but it gives us a chance to know one another a little better.

The dogs alert us to a car in the driveway before we even hear the wheels on gravel. It's Uriah and Marlene coming back from town. They park the truck by their side of the east bunkhouse and walk right over to my porch.

"No problem with Evan?" I ask, hoping they didn't call when we were away from the phone.

"No problem," Uriah confirms. "He'll be here in about an hour with Al. Evan said he'll drive him out and stay until Al is off the property. I guess he was pretty shaken up by being arrested. Evan doesn't think we'll have any problem with Al trying to come back or do any more damage."

I nod. I thought the same thing. Al's too much of a coward to try for revenge at the risk of getting caught.

We visit with Uriah and Marlene for a while. They tell me that Bella was very disappointed that her Auntie Tris and 'Uncle Horsie Doctor' weren't at church this morning. They fill us in on the news around town, and I serve the last of the Dauntless cake from last night's birthday party.

Punctual as ever, the sheriff arrives at 3:00 on the dot. The four of us, along with Hershey and Cocoa, meet the cruiser in the driveway and shake hands with Evan. Al stays in the back of the car, and doesn't make eye contact with any of us. After exchanging greetings, Evan takes Al back to his apartment to pack.

I feed the dogs and look for little things I can do to stay outside and keep and eye on things. Matthew returns from his date and day off. It must have gone well, because he didn't come home last night. I'll have to tease him about it.

After parking at his end of the bunkhouse, Matthew approaches me. "What's up with the sheriff being here?" he asks.

I explain that I'm not pressing charges against Al, and that the sheriff brought him home to pack his things. Matthew agrees that criminal charges would be unnecessary, and he admits that Al often said things about me when I wasn't around.

"It made me uncomfortable," Matthew says, "but only because you're our boss. It was just 'guys being guys,' you know? Nothing threatening or whatever. He talked about how pretty you were and how he was going to get up the nerve to ask you out. I always just told him to knock it off because he was risking getting rejected _and_ losing his job. I knew you weren't interested in him."

"I wasn't," I confirm. "He was a decent worker, but that's it."

"How about Eric?" Matthew says, waggling his eyebrows. "Is he your type?"

"How was your date with Jessica?" I counter. "I didn't hear you come home last night."

"Touche," says Matthew, grinning like a kid caught with this hand in the cookie jar. "I took her to the city. We had dinner, saw a movie, went out for drinks, and had breakfast before I drove her back this morning."

"Did you just yada, yada, yada over the best part?" I ask, referencing an old Seinfeld episode.

Matthew looks confused. I guess he's too young to get it. "Never mind," I tell him. "It's a line from an old TV show."

I see Uriah jog from the bunkhouse to the barn, stick his head inside, then head toward us.

"They're ready to leave," Uri says, "Al wants to speak to you before he goes."

I nod, and when I step off the porch, Matthew and Uriah follow me toward the bunkhouse. Eric walks out of the barn. I guess I'm bringing a posse whether I want to or not. When we get to where the sheriff is standing, I see Al putting the last of his things into his truck. I stop near the sheriff, and the three men stand behind me.

Sheriff Peterson is the first to speak. "Albert Connors, I will be escorting you off the Dauntless property and to the county line. You are not to come back to this ranch. Ever. In fact, if I see you in Ford County again, I will look for a reason to put you back in the cell where you spent the night last night. I accept that Mrs. Eaton is choosing not to press charges, but I don't have to like it. Poisoning a horse is cruel and disgusting.

"Mrs. Eaton, is there anything you would like to say to Mr. Connors before he leaves?"

I nod. "I owe you one week's pay. I'll mail it to your parents' home in Springfield."

"Minus the cost of Flash's treatment," Eric interrupts.

"And any damage to the bunkhouse you've been living in," adds Uriah.

I nod again.

"Anything else to say?" asks the sheriff.

"Nope," I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

The sheriff nods to Al, who shuffles his feet and looks down at the ground. "Tris, I'm really sorry about Flash. Making him sick was a really bad idea. For a lot of reasons. Thank you for not pressing charges. I promise you won't see me again."

He lifts his eyes and stares at me intently. "I love you, Tris. I was an idiot, and I blew it, but you have to listen to me. Eric isn't right for you. He won't love you the way I would. He's using you. He'll break your heart. He…"

"Enough!" I snap. "I'm not going to take the word of the man who nearly killed my horse over the word of the man who saved him. Stay away from me. Never come near me again, you coward."

Al ducks his head and climbs into his truck. I nod at the sheriff, who returns the gesture before climbing in his cruiser. They drive off the property, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Eric steps up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders. I lean back into his chest. Matthew and Uriah each pat my arm as they head toward the barn.

"You okay?" Eric asks.

"I am," I say in a strong voice. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course," he replies.

We link hands and walk toward the farmhouse.

"Feel free to say no," I hedge, and Eric nods. "Without Al we're a hand short around here. It's winter, so we're not too busy. Uri, Matthew, and I can handle it, but if something happens we need another set of hands. And if someone gets sick, or takes some time off, we could be short-handed. You're already living here and working with the horses, but I'd like to offer you Al's pay. It's not a vet's salary by any stretch, but it's something.

"Like I said, don't feel obligated. I can hire; I just want to offer it to you first. And I will hire for summer this year either way."

"And just how much cake were you paying Al?" Eric asks in a teasing voice.

"There was no cake in his compensation package, trust me." I say.

Eric leans in close to my ear. "Good," he says in a low growl that makes me shiver.

Just then the phone rings, and I pop inside to answer. It's a local farmer, calling for Eric's help with a limping horse.

"Would you like to come with me?" he asks.

"Aren't you sick of me yet?"

"You've only been my girlfriend for about eight hours, so no. Why, are you sick of me already?" he asks.

"Of course not," I say, swatting at his arm. "Let me grab my purse and let Uri know where I'm going."

We hop into Eric's truck after talking to Uri and Matthew. I realize Eric never answered me about taking Al's job. I don't want to push it; he might need some time to consider my offer.

"Something bothering you, Love?" Eric asks.

"Not really," I say.

"Tris," says Eric, admonishment in his voice. "I know you're a strong woman, and you're used to doing things on your own. But I don't want you hiding things from me because you discount your own feelings."

"I'm sorry," I say, reaching for his hand and threading our fingers together. "You're right that I'm used to doing things on my own. Because of that I'm used to mulling things over before I say anything. It doesn't mean I discount my feelings, just that I keep them to myself while I sort through things"

"I get that," he says, "and you're definitely entitled to your privacy. I just want to make sure you understand that I care, and you don't have to be afraid to talk to me about anything."

"Thank you," I say. "One thing I'm feeling right now is that I really like how you called me 'Love' a minute ago. That was very sweet."

"I didn't realize I said that," says Eric, "But it fits. Expect to hear it more often."

I smile as he brings my hand to his face for a kiss.

"The other thing I was thinking about is whether or not you would take Al's job," I confess. "I don't want to push you, I was just thinking about hiring if you don't take it."

"I have one question about that," says Eric. "Am I allowed to date the boss?"

"Me or Uri?" I tease.

"Wait," says Eric in mock seriousness, "I'd be under Uriah?"

"Technically," I answer.

"I'd rather be under you," he says in a low tone that makes me squirm in my seat as my cheeks flush.

I clear my throat. "So if I let you date your boss, will you take the job?"

"As long as we're talking about you and not Uriah, of course. I actually didn't realize that I hadn't answered you when Eli Brown called. I'm happy to pitch in and take Al's place. And the income over the winter frees me up to put Dad's estate and life insurance money into veterinary equipment I'll need. He didn't have a huge policy, and there wasn't a lot left in his savings after my education drained what he got for the farm, but it was more than enough for me to live on for a while. Now with a job and free housing, I can put it into equipment instead."

I'm beaming at his enthusiasm and how well this is working out. As Eric rolls to a stop in the Brown's driveway, I lean over and give him a kiss on the cheek. This earns a smirk from my handsome boyfriend. He's about to say something when Eli Brown approaches the truck, so we jump out instead.

Mr. Brown greets us both and tells Eric that his mare, Snowflake, has been limping all day, and that she's agitated and skittish. He leads us to the corral, where a large all-white mare is prancing around in spite of her limp.

Liza Brown, the farmer's wife, comes down into the yard with three mugs of hot coffee in her hands. She hands one to me, and gives the others to the men. She starts talking to me, but the hot mug in my hands, the smell of coffee, and the agitated all-white horse give me deja vu, and I'm having trouble focusing.

Eric sets his coffee on a fence post and climbs into the corral. The mare rears up on her back legs, forelegs waving in the air. It's slow motion, and only bits and pieces pierce my fuzzy consciousness. I feel the stinging heat of spilled coffee on my legs. I feel the bruising thump of my knees hitting the ground. Then everything goes black.


	9. Chapter 9: Fuggedaboutit

"Tris? Love? Open your eyes, Baby. Everything is okay. Open your eyes and look at me."

I pry open my eyes. I'm disoriented and uncomfortable, but my eyes land on a worried face with beautiful grey eyes.

"Eric," I mumble.

He smiles at me, relieved. Just then Liza Brown scurries over with a glass of water. "Here's the water," she says, handing Eric the glass. "Oh good," she says in my direction, "you're awake."

"How long was I out?" I ask.

"Less than five minutes," says Eli from my other side.

I blush, suddenly overcome with the shame of fainting away like some helpless Victorian woman in a corset.

"Can I sit up?" I mumble, not making eye contact with anyone.

"Slowly," says Eric, putting his large hands on my back and the back of my head and helping me to a seated position.

"Were you injured when you fell?" he asks.

I take inventory of my body. I'll have bruises on my knees tomorrow, and my left shoulder is sore from laying on a rock, but I'm otherwise fine.

I assure Eric that I'm unharmed, but he doesn't believe me until I look him full in the face and say firmly, "I'm fine, Eric. My knees are bruised, as is my ego, but I'm okay."

"There's no need to be embarrassed," says Eli Brown. "I remember the horse that killed your husband. That brute looked a lot like my Snowflake. In fact, I said that to Liza when we bought Snowflake a few years ago. I said, 'this mare looks an awful lot like the brute that killed the Eaton fella,' didn't I, Liza?"

Liza nods. She looks near tears. Her husband continues.

"When the doc climbed in the pen and Snowflake reared up, I thought this must seem like a bad rerun to you. I glanced over just in time to see you hit the dirt."

"I was leaning on the fence sipping a cup of coffee on that day, too," I say quietly.

The broken coffee mug lies on the ground a few feet from me. I look at Liza Brown and say, "I'm so sorry I broke your mug, Mrs. Brown."

She waves off my apology. "They're not the good china," she tells me. "Mugs break. There are plenty more where that came from. Don't worry about it."

I ask Eric if I can stand up, and he practically picks me up like a child. When he sets me on my feet, he doesn't let go, but pulls me into a hug. I rest my head on his chest and take deep breaths of his comforting, masculine smell as I revel in the feeling of being held in his strong arms.

When he releases me, Eric takes a long, searching look into my face. His eyes ask a million questions. I meet his gaze with all the strength I can muster, and nod. He seems to accept my show of strength, because he lets go of me and looks back at Eli Brown.

Mrs. Brown pulls me into a motherly hug, and I accept her affection, knowing that she needs this moment, too. I don't want her to think I have any hard feelings about the incident. The Browns did nothing wrong.

Mr. Brown moves Snowflake into her stall in the barn, where she'll have less room to flail around. Eric is able to examine her feet and legs, and discovers an inflamed sore on one of her forelegs. He sends me to the truck for his supply kit.

I don't stick around to watch him treat the animal. Instead, I pick up the fragments of the broken mug, and sit on the porch with Mrs. Brown until the men are finished.

I hear Eric quote the Browns a ridiculously low amount for his fee. I know what it takes to get the town vet out to see an animal on a Sunday afternoon, and what treatment costs. I feel guilty thinking my little fainting spell might be the reason for Eric's lowball price.

We say goodbye to the Browns and climb into Eric's truck.

As we roll down the driveway, Eric says to me, "I wish trucks still had bench seats. I'd really like to hold you right now."

My heart does a little flip, and I reach across the console for Eric's hand.

"You know you didn't charge them near enough," I say. "I feel bad about it, like it's my fault."

Eric lifts our hands so he can kiss my knuckles.

"First of all," he says, "thank you for telling me how you feel instead of letting that eat at you. Secondly, I don't believe in charging extra just because it's Sunday. I know why the town vets do it. They'd be working 24/7 if they didn't set parameters. But I'm not in practice, and I don't have all the equipment they have. I can easily say no, and people would still have Dr. Jones and his weekend premiums available. If it were Christmas, or the middle of the night, I'd ask for more, but I wasn't busy today. Third, Eli Brown had some antibiotic in his barn that wasn't expired but was getting close. We agreed it was best to use that up first, so I didn't have to charge him for the medication. Fourth, the Browns were old friends of my parents, so I wanted to give them the best price I could anyway.

"I promise you, Tris, this wasn't about you. Now, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I say. I sound like a broken record repeating that over and over, but I really am okay. "I have bruises on my knees and I may be a bit stiff tomorrow, but my head feels normal. I'm still embarrassed, but I'm not hurt. I've never fainted before in my whole life."

"I wasn't asking about your beautiful body, Love," Eric says, kissing my knuckles again.

I blush, and Eric continues talking. "This week has been an emotional roller coaster for you, with so many reminders of Tobias and everything. It can't be easy for you."

Eric sounds insecure, which isn't like him. I glance over at him and see that he's biting on his lower lip. Does he think I'm regretting our relationship? I squeeze his hand, trying to reassure him.

"It has been an emotional weekend," I admit, "but I've been well cared for. And it hasn't been all bad, you know."

Eric releases his lip from his teeth and smiles. "Oh yeah?" he prompts.

"Yeah," I say, teasing him. I lean toward him and whisper conspiratorially. "I landed a doctor."

Eric laughs loudly. "You, or Dauntless?"

"I was thinking about me, but I'll share with the horses."

Eric laughs again. He seems relieved and back to normal. As we drive through town, he suggests getting some dinner. The cafe on Main Street is closed, but Zeke serves some good burgers at his bar, so we stop there.

The bar is quiet. Sunday evening isn't a big time for drinking and partying, but there are a few people enjoying sandwiches, wings, and beers. We pull up stools, and greet our friend.

Zeke says hello and brings me my usual brew. He asks Eric for his drink order, and fills it.

"There you go," Zeke says to Eric. "One tall brew for Uncle Doctor. You know my daughter has not stopped talking about you. How did you win her over so quickly?"

"My natural charm, of course," answers Eric, winking at me.

"Beatrice Grace!" scolds Zeke. "You helped him bribe my daughter with cake, didn't you?"

I shrug. "I can neither confirm nor deny your accusation. Why do you care? She ate her dinner."

"Shauna is convinced that 'Dr. McDreamy' here is a toddler-whisperer or something. I told her you probably helped him bribe her. I was so right! I'm going to rub it in her face!"

"He's not very smart, is he?" I say to Eric. He just shakes his head.

"What? Why?" stutters Zeke.

"Burgers, Bartender. Feed us and we'll save your marriage."

Eric raises an eyebrow at me but wisely keeps quiet. Zeke leaves to put in our orders.

"So, what's wrong with Zeke's marriage?" asks Eric.

"His wife is pregnant." I state.

"I know," says Eric, still confused.

"He's going to go home and rub it in her face that he was right and she was wrong."

"And?"

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Hormones," I say.

"Oohhh," says Eric, catching on. "Yup, he's in trouble. But then again, she married Zeke, so Shauna shouldn't be surprised."

"Pregnant." I say again. "Logic goes out the window. Trust me. I was here when she was pregnant with Bella."

We share a laugh while we wait for our dinner.

.

xxxx

.

Over the next few days, we get into a new rhythm. Uri, Matthew, Eric, and I take care of the horses and prepare the ranch for winter. Eric's primary focus is the veterinary care of the horses. Matthew mends and reinforces fences. We all handle feedings, muck out stalls, and keep an eye out for things we can prepare and tighten up before the snow flies.

The weather gets colder every day. There is no snow on the ground yet, but it's mid-November, so it could come any day. Shauna, Hanna, Marlene, and I have started planning for Thanksgiving. As they usually do, the family will be coming to my house for the holiday. It's just easier to have everyone here since we have to deal with chores morning and evening.

Eric agreed to join the Pedrads and I at my farmhouse, and Matthew was thrilled with the opportunity to visit his parents for the weekend. I wonder if he'll take his girlfriend home to meet his family.

I see Uriah out my kitchen window. He's bringing Flash and Lightning back inside after their day at pasture. It reminds me of how close I came to losing Flash, and how happy I am to see him back to his usual self. Eric is vaccinating horses in the east pole barn today, then coming over for dinner.

Eric _loves_ mafia movies, so I came up with a fun idea for dinner tonight. I looked on the internet and found the recipe for pasta sauce from the movie _Goodfellas_. There's this one scene where they make pasta sauce and meatballs from scratch and describe the process in excruciating detail. So I've been hard at work in the kitchen for over an hour now, following the recipe and the process exactly. I'm planning to surprise Eric with the sauce and meatballs over noodles, buttery garlic bread, and a bottle of red wine for dinner. Then we'll spend the evening watching the movie.

The sauce is simmering away, the pasta water boiling, and the garlic bread is just going into the oven when Eric knocks on my back door.

"Come in!" I call as I close the oven and salt the pasta water.

Eric walks into the kitchen with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"Where did you get flowers?" I ask. "Those are beautiful!"

"I ran into town today and thought flowers were a good idea. It's kind of a traditional date deal," he says, walking over to give me a kiss.

"Well," I say, "this is _not_ a traditional date. I have something special planned."

"Smells like it," he says, peeking into the sauce pot. "Spaghetti and meatballs?"

"Yup," I say. "Garlic bread and red wine, too."

"Are we going to whack a guy after dinner?" he asks. "Please tell me we won't be beheading any horses."

"Watch your mouth!" I say. "Don't talk about my babies like that! Though it would be fun to find a fake horse head and put it in Uriah's bed."

"We'd have to get Marlene in on it," he says. "And you know she can't keep a secret to save her life."

"Or we do it when she's out of town," I suggest.

"I like how you think, evil woman," he teases, poking me in the side.

When the meatballs float and the pasta is tender-firm, I dish up dinner and we take our seats at the table. Eric takes a bite and groans.

"Wow!" he says. "What is in these meatballs?"

"Beef, pork, and veal," I say. "And the garlic in the sauce is cut razor thin."

"Wait," he asks, stopping with a forkful halfway to his mouth. "Did you make the marinara and meatballs from _Goodfellas_?"

I nod my head. "I thought we could watch the movie after dinner."

"What a cool idea!" says Eric. "I have the best girlfriend."

"Fuggedaboutit," I say in my best, but still terrible, movie-mafia accent.

Eric and I eat our fill of the rich Italian dinner and package up enough leftovers to keep us fed for days. We wash the dishes together and clean up the kitchen.

"Is there Dauntless cake?" asks Eric, bumping my hip with his.

"Are you still hungry?" I ask. "If you are, I'm kind of insulted."

"No," he assures me, "I'm stuffed. But you know, cake…"

"Well I didn't make Dauntless cake, I'm sorry. I wanted to get cannolis, but the grocery store in town didn't carry the shells and I don't know how to make them. I made tiramisu."

Eric groans. "I love tiramisu! There was this deli near campus where I used to get it. I had to limit how often I could get it because I was going to make myself fat. It's so good!"

"Well, I hope mine is good," I say. "This was my first time making it."

When the kitchen is clean we dish up dessert and make a pot of decaf coffee to go with it. I set up the movie stream and we get cozy on the sofa.

The movie is a typical mafia film. It's full of crime, murder, and swearing, but it's entertaining and well-made, and I enjoy it even though it's not my typical genre. The tiramisu is good, too.

When we bite into dessert, Eric groans again, making me bite my lip and squirm in my seat.

"This is amazing," he says. "I love you."

"Were you talking to me or the dessert?" I ask.

"Both," he says, peppering my neck and cheeks with kisses.

I giggle, and it only gets worse when Eric starts tickling me. "No! No!" I yell. "Stop!"

Eric stops tickling, but I can't catch my breath. I'm laid on my back across the couch with Eric laying over top of me. Our faces are just inches apart, and we're both breathing heavily.

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. He kisses me back, and it quickly gets heated. My hands roam down his back and squeeze his bottom, pulling him tight against me. He groans at the contact, and so do I. Our tongues tangle, and Eric threads his fingers in my hair, pulling my head back. He kisses my neck, running his tongue up to my ear. He nips at my ear and I gasp and shiver. Instinctively I spread my legs so he can get even closer to where I want him most. He grinds his hardness against my core, and I moan loudly, drawing another groan from Eric's lips.

He pulls away slowly, peppering chaste kisses on my face as if reluctant to leave.

"Tris," he pants, "I… We can't… I mean… Shit. I'm running out of self-control, Baby."

I nod. He's right, but I can't find the words to say anything in response.

"Are you okay?" he asks. "It's not that I don't want to. I mean, I'm not rejecting you, Love. I want you, trust me. I just… It's just too soon, and I don't want to pressure you or anything."

"It's okay," I say, finding my voice. "I'm okay. I feel the same way. It's been a long time, Eric. I thought that part of me was dormant. But you make me feel things - make me want things - and I… It's just hard to do the right thing."

We sit up, right ourselves a bit, and start cleaning up. With a few gentle kisses and innocent touches it still takes us longer than it should to clean up and for Eric to leave for the night.

.

**A/N: My husband and I like Mafia movies, so I made the ****_Goodfellas_**** sauce once. Our son still refers to it as the best meal he ever ate. If you're not familiar with the movie, you can see the sauce scene on YouTube (that particular scene is clean). If you're interested in trying your hand at the recipe, the version I tried came from the Men's Health website. I also watched the scene and a couple YouTube videos of people making the sauce, and read other recipes that claimed to be based on the real version. It took several hours, but was a unique and delicious experience.**


	10. Chapter 10: Thanksgiving

**A/N: Let's have a bonus and put this chapter up early. It's a steamy one, the closest to an M rating that I've ever published. Enjoy!**

**XOXO, Libby**

.

Thanksgiving day dawns clear and cold. I throw a sweatshirt over my pajamas and make my way to the coffee maker. It snowed yesterday, just an inch or so, but it looks clean and bright out my kitchen window. I watch Matthew drive out of the yard. He's going home for the long holiday weekend, leaving Uri, Eric, and I to manage the ranch.

After my first cup of coffee, I remove the turkey from the refrigerator where it has been thawing for several days. I remove the packaging and the bag of giblets from the bird's cavity. Having a small flock of chickens and even turkeys is popular these days. Most farmers and ranchers keep them around for meat and eggs. But I never wanted birds. They're noisy, smelly, dirty, and they attract predators. Processing takes place during the busiest time of the year for us, early summer, so it just doesn't make sense for Dauntless.

But I do enjoy eating poultry, and I've gotten pretty good at cooking it. I prepare the turkey with butter and herbs and fill the cavity with cut onions. The onions add flavor and keep the bird moist as it roasts. I lift the heavy bird and slide it into the oven, then adjust the settings.

I made the rolls and pies yesterday. One pie is pumpkin, made from pumpkins I grew in my garden. The other is apple. I don't have my own apple trees, so I have to buy those, but a small apple orchard is something I definitely would consider adding to my ranch. I'd just have to plant the apple trees away from where the horses go, or they would help themselves and gorge on apples until they were sick.

The other dishes will be provided by Hanna, Shauna, and Marlene. Uriah and Marlene only have a small kitchen in their bunkhouse apartment, and she doesn't like cooking that much, so we put her in charge of buying potatoes to mash, and pickles and olives for the relish tray. Hanna has an amazing recipe for stuffing, or more accurately (since we don't stuff the turkey), dressing. She will bring that in a slow cooker. She also makes cranberry dressing from scratch, and it is to die for. There are apple chunks in with the cranberries, and it's cooked with orange juice and just a touch of almond extract. She always leaves me a bit of the leftovers, and I eat it for breakfast the next day. Shauna is bringing two vegetable sides. One is green bean casserole, of course. The other is a wildcard, whatever strikes her fancy on the week of the holiday. Last year it was baked corn, and it was delicious. I hope she brings that again.

I'll provide the gravy for Marlene's potatoes, since I'm making the turkey. I'll also have coffee, water, and lemonade. Eric insisted on bringing something this year, offering to handle the beer and wine. I don't know a lot about wine - I'm more of a beer girl - so I was more than happy to hand that off to him.

He went to the city yesterday, and got back late last night, so I haven't seen him since Tuesday. We're still struggling with not letting the physical aspect of our relationship go too far too fast. When I look at it objectively, I realize that we've only been dating for three weeks, but we spent a lot of time together before we put a label on it, and some of the things we've gone through together, like his father's death, really connected us. In a lot of ways, it feels like Eric and I have been dating since he came back to town three months ago.

Eric's trip yesterday was to pick up some new equipment for his veterinary practice. His dad's life insurance policy wasn't huge, but it was enough to get him a used ultrasound machine. That will help a lot here at Dauntless, and if he goes into practice for himself some day he'll need it for that, as well.

Uriah and I cooked up a little surprise for Eric, and got it started while he was out yesterday. We moved Lightning and Flash to the pole barn, and got started converting their space in the barn into an exam room of sorts. We took out some of the walls from the two stalls, leaving a larger L-shaped space. I bought a used refrigerator for the medicines that need to be kept cool, and put that, along with upper and lower cabinets, on the short wall. Uri and I even let ourselves into Eric's bunkhouse and dug his diploma out of a box in the closet. We hung it on the wall of the new exam area. I'm excited to show Eric his surprise!

We tried to keep Eric out of the barn this morning. I left a note on his bunkhouse door that Uri and Matthew would cover the morning chores, and that he should sleep in this morning then come over for breakfast at the farmhouse. Uriah promised to spend the morning in the old barn just in case Eric tried to stop in.

There's a knock on my back door, and I rush to answer it. "Eric!" I say, excited to see my boyfriend after our day apart.

"Good morning, Love," he says, kissing me soundly on the mouth.

I take a case of beer out of his hands and set it out on the porch. It will keep cold out there but not freeze, and it won't take up room in the already full refrigerator. Eric fits the wine bottles where he can in the fridge, and I pour us each a cup of coffee.

"How was your trip yesterday?" I ask.

"Good," he says. "Roads were good, and the ultrasound machine is in good shape. I'm excited to try it out."

"Have you been to the barn yet?" I ask, fishing for clues to see if our surprise is still a secret.

"No," he says. "I was in too big of a hurry to kiss you good morning."

That makes me smile, and I give him another kiss.

"Let me throw on some clothes," I say, handing Eric a bowl of oatmeal.

He nods, and I hurry upstairs. I throw on jeans, tear a brush through my hair, and grab a ponytail holder as I hurry down the stairs.

"Ready to go?" I ask.

"Why the hurry?" asks Eric.

"Oh, um, you know. A lot to do. Getting ready for Thanksgiving."

"We don't need to go out to the barn if you have a lot to do," he says.

I don't know what to say to that.

"I want to," I say. "Come on."

Eric laughs, but takes my hand, and I drag him to the barn.

When we get there, I throw open the door. The new exam station is right near the entrance on the left side of the barn.

"Tris!" Eric exclaims. "What is this?"

"Look at it!" I say.

Uriah hears us and comes running. "Was he surprised?" he asks.

"He's still surprised!" I say, thrilled.

Eric just stands there staring at the new setup for a few minutes. Then he walks over and looks at his diploma hanging on the wall.

"That's my…" he says, stunned.

He opens the upper cupboard and sees his travel supply kit and neat rows of supplies.

"And there's my…"

Uri and I laugh, and my accomplice hugs me fiercely as we giggle.

Eric opens the fridge and sees the medicines arranged neatly and stored at an ideal temperature.

"How did you…" he trails off again.

"I think we broke him," says Uriah, and we dissolve into giggles again.

"You guys!" says Eric, turning to face us.

"I know it's not complete," I tell him as I walk toward him. "We'll get a sink put in soon. Until then you can use the one in the feed room. I'm having an electrician come out on Monday, too, to make sure the circuits out here can handle your new equipment. I want to add an exam stall for restraining the horses when you're working on them, but until then we have the normal stalls that work for most things."

Eric grabs me in a bone-crushing hug. "You did this for me," he whispers, shocked.

"Do you like it?" I ask as he lets me go and gives Uri a hug.

"It's wonderful!" he says. "I can't believe you did this for me, and in just one day. What are you going to do with two fewer stalls, though."

"We'll be fine," I assure him. "Long-term it's more valuable to have a place for all the veterinary equipment than stalls for two more horses. Lightning and Flash moved out to the east pole barn with the others."

"This is incredible," says Eric, still shocked.

We're interrupted by the bark of my dogs. It's their friendly bark, so I assume that Zeke and Shauna have arrived with Hanna and Bella. I look out of the barn and see that my assumption is correct. Uri rushes out to greet his family.

"Dr. Coulter," I say to Eric, who turns to face me. I'm about to tell him that our family has arrived for the holiday, but he crashes his lips to mine, silencing me.

"I can't believe you did this," he says between fevered kisses. He has one hand planted in my hair, and the other one on my lower back, pulling me close. I wrap both of my arms around his shoulders and tug at the short hairs on the back of his head as we consume each other with passionate kisses. There is no doubt in my mind that we would have gotten carried away if it weren't for the holiday and the houseful of guests waiting for us.

.

xxxx

.

The Thanksgiving meal was perfect. The food was amazing - both plentiful and delicious. We ate at one in the afternoon. The turkey was juicy, the side dishes were amazing, and the pies were the perfect ending to the meal.

Because the women did all the cooking, Eric insisted that the men would clean up. I packed up the leftovers, but he actually convinced Zeke and Uriah to help him with the dishes. They got done in time for football, and we all spent the afternoon in my living room.

Naturally, Bella found her way to my lap, and drifted off for her afternoon nap. She is still quite smitten with her new "uncle," and wanted to be near him at all times.

When the afternoon game ends, and most of the family wakes up, we pull some board games out of a closet and play together. Eric and Uriah have to go to the barn for evening chores, so we all bundle up and tag along so Bella can see the horses and everyone can see Eric's new exam station.

He's so proud showing everyone what Uriah and I did for him while he was away. He tells them about the new ultrasound machine that he picked up, and how that will make a difference for the ranch. Breeding is a big part of what we do at Dauntless, so healthy foals are important.

You would think that a three-year-old wouldn't understand, but Bella hangs on Eric's every word. She walks around the new exam area asking "What this?" "Whewe Fash?" (Where's Flash?) and "Whewe Yite-neen?" (Where's Lightning?) Eric patiently answers her questions, and we even take her to the pole barn to show her where Flash and Lightning are living now.

We go back to the house for a dinner of leftovers and more pie, followed by more board games. When Bella falls asleep in my arms for the second time that day, Shauna decides it's time for them to go. I sit in the recliner and hold my sleeping niece while Hanna and Shauna pack up their things. When they're ready, they wrap Bella in a blanket and carry her to the car.

Uriah and Marlene say their goodbyes at the same time, and head back to their bunkhouse apartment.

Eric stays at the farmhouse with me, and when everyone is gone we wander around putting things back in their usual places. I notice that Bella's sippy cup is still in the dish drainer, and set it on top of the fridge where I will see it and remember to return it on Sunday. Marlene left a sweatshirt, but I can return that tomorrow. I hang it by the door so I won't forget. We shut off the excess lights, and Eric leads me back to the living room, where we cuddle up on the sofa.

"Did you have fun today?" he asks me, undoubtedly thinking of the breakdown I had after Tobias' birthday party.

"I did," I assure him, "How about you?"

"It was perfect," he says. "You are amazing with Bella. I can't believe that ball of pure energy just lays her head down and goes to sleep on you. Shauna says you're the only one who can do that."

"We have a special bond," I say. "Her family is wild. She knows I'm quieter. She usually finds her way to my lap when she gets sleepy. It's like an unspoken deal we have."

"It's beautiful," Eric says shyly. "I love seeing you with her. You would be an amazing mother. I might be getting ahead of myself, but I would love to watch you raise our children someday."

He looks nervous, quietly confessing that. I smile at him, trying to convey that I'm not at all bothered by his plans for our future. He seems encouraged, and lays a hand on my flat stomach.

"I've imagined what it would be like, watching your belly grow round with our child..." He pulls me onto his lap, my back to his chest, and puts both of his hands on my stomach. I rest my hands on top of his. "...knowing that we created life out of our love."

I lay my head back on his shoulder and turn to kiss his jaw. "I would like that," I say, and my voice is husky.

Eric swallows hard, and I feel his adam's apple by my ear. He moves his hands to my sides and slides them upward. He stops just under the swell of my breasts, and his lips kiss my neck. I sigh at the contact, and guide his hands to cup my breasts.

I moan as Eric begins to knead the flesh of my breasts. My nipples harden, and he groans as he continues to kiss my neck and stroke my chest. I drop my head back and raise my arms so I can thread my fingers into the longer hair on the top of Eric's head. This gives him unbridled access to me, and he slips his hands under the hem of my shirt before feeling his way back up to my chest.

I arch my back and reach around to remove the only barrier between Eric's large, warm, calloused hands and my tender, naked flesh. The bra slips down when the hooks are released, and Eric's hands greedily consume my bare skin. He alternates between pinching my aroused nipples and kneading the soft flesh. I gasp at the sensation and moan loudly, and I feel his hardness twitch and press into my bottom.

I grind my ass into his erection, teasing him, and whisper in his ear. "Let's go to bed." Eric groans loudly, seemingly torn about the decision. "Please," I say, "I want you, Eric."

This seems to make the decision for him and he lifts me off his lap and stands up. I take his hand and lead him to the stairway, shutting off lights as we go. We climb the stairs together and enter my bedroom.

I don't want to turn on the harsh overhead light, so I click on the small bedside lamp. I throw my bra toward the laundry bin, and stare into Eric's eyes as I lift the hem of my shirt. His eyes dart between my face and the skin I'm slowly exposing to him. I watch his hands open and close repeatedly as he resists reaching out for what he wants.

When my shirt is off and I'm standing before Eric topless in a pair of jeans, I reach for his shirt. I give it a little tug, and he raises his hand behind his neck and whips it off. His muscled chest is amazing. The tattoos on his arms continue up his biceps to his shoulder. One side of his chest is marked as well, and the entire thing flows together in a beautiful maze-like pattern.

"Your tattoo is amazing," I tell him.

Eric turns to show me the back, and it's like the mirror image of the front. On the side that doesn't have the pectoral tattoo, he has the same design from his arm around his shoulder blade. It reminds me of ancient armor, and it's really beautiful.

"Do you have any tattoos?" he asks.

I shake my head. "I always wanted one," I confess. I even came up with a design at one time. I wanted two birds in flight along my collarbone, between my shoulder and my heart, to represent my parents. After Tobias died I thought I'd do three birds like that. But I've never gotten a tattoo before, so I wouldn't know where to start."

"If you're serious about it, I can walk you through it and introduce you to my artist," Eric says, running his fingers along my bare skin as if imagining the design there.

I lean up to kiss him again, pressing our bare chests together in the process. We both gasp, and Eric takes advantage of our open mouths to deepen the kiss.

I slide my hands down his perfectly toned abs until I hit the waist of his jeans. "May I?" I ask shyly.

"Are you sure?" he asks, looking into my eyes to judge the sincerity of my answer.

"I'm sure," I promise him.

.

**A/N: Apparently this story is all about recipes. Here's the apple cranberry sauce. It's one of my favorites.  
**1 bag (12 oz.) cranberries  
1 cup sugar  
1/2 cup orange juice  
1/2 cup water  
1-2 medium apples, peeled and diced  
1/2 teaspoon almond extract

Place cranberries, sugar, water and orange juice in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil and cook 3-5 minutes or until cranberries start to burst, and sauce thickens slightly. Remove from heat and place in a medium bowl. Stir in diced apples and almond extract. Cover and refrigerate 2-3 hours or overnight.


	11. Chapter 11: Morning After

I wake up to my alarm clock, as I do every morning, but something is different. For one thing, I'm much warmer than usual. For another thing, certain long-forgotten muscles are deliciously sore. Memories of last night flood over me, and all at once I'm a confusing mix of embarrassed, satisfied, and aroused.

I shut off the alarm and peek over at Eric, who is beginning to stir. He's still naked, unless he has his boxer briefs on under the covers. I admire his chest of chiseled muscle and a little golden blonde hair. The dark ink of his tattoos contrasts strongly with his pale skin. This man is like the statues of the ancient warriors. What is he doing in bed with me?

"Good morning, Beautiful," Eric mumbles.

"Morning," I say shyly.

His eyes pop open and he studies my face intently. "Are you feeling okay? Do you regret last night? Did we go too fast?"

"Stop," I say, trying to quell his panic. "Last night was amazing. I don't regret it at all. I'm just not sure what we do now."

He smirks at me. "Well, if we had more time, I could think of some things. But we're due in the barn this morning, and if we don't show up, Uri will come looking for us. And I've never been interested in having a threesome with Uriah Pedrad."

I blush deep crimson at Eric's words, both embarrassed and appalled by the idea.

"I shower after morning chores," I tell Eric, desperate to change the subject. "The bathroom is through that door if you'd like to shower. I'm just going to put some clothes on and go start the coffee."

I leap out of bed and start shimmying into my clothes as fast as I can.

"Love," Eric's deep voice interrupts me. I stop what I'm doing and look at him. "Are you sure you're not feeling any regret or anything? You seem tense."

"I'm tense because you seem to think Uriah is going to walk through that door at any moment, and I really don't want him to see this, much less what you said." I reply, resuming my attempt to set a new world record for getting dressed.

"I was teasing, Love," Eric says. "We have plenty of time, the house is locked, and neither of us want to involve Uri in any of this. Now come here and give me a kiss. Please."

I crawl across the bed and do as Eric requested. We don't allow the kiss to get too heated, and a moment later I head downstairs to start coffee and breakfast while Eric heads to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

We make it to the barn on time and start working on the morning chore of feeding and watering my herd.

"I didn't hear you come back to the bunkhouse last night," Uri teases Eric.

"You must have been busy with your wife," Eric replies, hedging.

Uri blushes, and I nearly laugh out loud. Apparently we weren't the only ones to have a little fun last night.

.

xxxx

.

Word spreads quickly that the new vet has a little clinic setup in the barn at Dauntless. Eric takes more and more calls from horse owners who want him to take a look at this or that. Dr. Jones and Eric consult on many of the cases, and the town's longstanding vet admits that he's relieved to have most of the far-flung rural house calls off his plate.

As promised, the electrician checks over the barn, and declares it perfectly reasonable to run Eric's slate of diagnostic tools, which is growing to include an x-ray machine as well as the ultrasound machine. The plumber installs the promised sink in the exam area, and by mid-December it's really taking shape.

Matthew enjoyed his weekend at home over Thanksgiving, and thanks to our new arrangement, he plans to go home for Christmas as well. I've never been able to send a ranch hand home for both holidays before - Al and Matthew had to trade off last year - but having Eric here has made that possible. It's good timing, too, because Matthew and Jessica are getting pretty serious, and he's planning to take her home to meet his family.

I have some surprises planned for Christmas, and I'm really excited about it. Uriah's gift was the easiest to plan. I had Eric do an ultrasound on Uri's horse, and she is, as I suspected, having twins. Instead of half ownership of one foal, Uri will have full ownership of one, and I'll own the other. For Christmas I'm giving him that good news and full ownership of the second foal. He'll have three horses of his own, free and clear, and he can choose to train and sell the babies or keep one or both of them here. It's a valuable gift, but as my right-hand man here on the ranch and my close friend/brother, he deserves it.

Matthew will receive a Christmas bonus check, as usual, as a gift from me as his employer. As his friend I also got him a few small things, like some new shirts and a gift card for an online retailer he likes.

Marlene and Shauna are always trying to get me to do girly things with them, so I'm surprising them with a "sister" weekend in the city. I had to clear it with Uri, Eric, and Matthew to make sure the ranch was covered, plus make arrangements with Zeke, and Marlene's boss, Dr. Jones. I booked a suite at the nicest hotel in the city, and even made reservations for dinners and spa treatments for the three of us. On Christmas the girls will receive the news, along with a little shopping money. I feel a bit guilty giving a gift that's for me as well, but I know they'll love it. I planned it for February so we'll be plenty in advance of Shauna's April due date and spring on the ranch. Now I just need to pray for good weather!

Zeke and Uriah's father, Michael, died when they were kids. Hanna kept his business, Michael's Bar and Grill, to support the family, and both boys worked there for nothing but tips when they were teenagers. When Zeke finished high school he went to work full-time managing the place, and Hanna worked there full-time until Uriah left for college. After that, Hanna hung up her apron. The ownership of the bar was transferred to Zeke, and he pays his mother monthly for the business while providing for his own family. It's been a good arrangement, and it allowed Hanna to support her boys and keep the business in the family, but profit margins are slim.

Zeke has been talking for years about some improvements he wants to make at Michael's. He keeps the place clean, but things age, and he really needs to update the decor and fixtures. I know he's been working long hours so he doesn't have to hire, but he and Shauna have a busy toddler and another baby on the way. Hanna, Uri and Mar, and Eric and I decided to work together and have ordered a full set of new chairs and barstools as our gift to Zeke. He has talked about improvements for so long that we knew exactly what he wanted. I'm hoping that with the seating covered he'll have enough in his improvement fund to repaint, update the lighting, and have the floors and bar top refinished. Those are the biggest needs, update-wise.

Bella is the easiest to shop for. I really wanted to get her a pony, but Eric convinced me to wait. She'll be four in June, a perfect age to begin riding, but Eric reminded me that spring would be a long wait for the little girl. We decided to hold off until her birthday. Instead, we took a trip to the city and ended up going more than a little crazy shopping for the only child in our lives. We bought a toy kitchen for Bella, with all the plastic food and dish sets that complete it. We made sure the food set had a fake chocolate cake so she could play bake her own Dauntless cake. I sewed her a little apron that looks just like one of mine. We got her clothes, including matching size four and newborn outfits that say "Big Sister," and "Little Sister" for when the baby is born. Eric and I had so much fun, and it was hard to restrain ourselves and not buy up every cute thing in the store!

Hanna is the hardest to shop for. I like putting thought into my gifts, so I don't want to give her cash or gift cards, but the reality is that she needs so little. Hanna lives in the house where she and Michael raised the boys. It's well-maintained and clean, but small. She watches Bella on school days while Shauna works as a classroom para. She has a weekly Bible study in her home with other retired ladies from town. She knits a little, bakes when she has visitors to share with, and grows flowers in her yard. Zeke handles her lawn care, snow removal, and maintenance projects to pay for the babysitting. Her life is simple, but complete. With Eric's help I select a sweater, some perfume she likes, and a new jigsaw puzzle, a hobby Hanna and I share.

It seems so little to give to the woman who gave me a family when I was alone in the world. Hanna was there for me when I was widowed. Having been widowed herself, she knew what I was facing better than anyone. During the first cold spell after Tobias' death, she showed up at my door with a heated mattress pad for my bed. I still get choked up when I think about how she knew, as only another widow can, just how cold it was getting used to sleeping alone.

Eric was also hard to shop for. I want to add a restraining exam stall to his station in the barn, but that doesn't seem very personal. I rack my brain for weeks and order the stall. That can be his holiday bonus/big gift, but I really need to come up with something more "boyfriend" before the holiday gets here, and time is running out.


	12. Chapter 12: Christmas

**I'm a bit late on the update. Sorry! Tuesday is usually my update day. Thank you all for the follows, favorites, and reviews!**

**.**

Christmas Eve is cold and clear. The ground is fully covered in a blanket of snow. I wake up beside Eric, and snuggle into his warmth. He pretty much lives here in the farmhouse with me now. There are two toothbrushes in the cup on my bathroom vanity. Some of Eric's clothes are in Tobias' empty dresser. I gave him a set of keys to the house, and last week when I came home from a day of last-minute holiday shopping, I found him asleep in my bed even though I wasn't there. That, more than anything, tells me that he's feeling at home here.

Uriah and Matthew are handling the chores this morning, and Matthew will leave after that to spend a few days with his family. Eric and I will handle the chores tomorrow. This way we each get one morning to sleep in over the holiday.

The Pedrad crew is coming over today for the family holiday celebration so Zeke and Shauna can spend tomorrow with the Rodriguez family - Shauna's mom, step-dad, and her younger half-brother, Hector. Bella loves her "Unca Hec" as much as Uncle Ooey, Uncle Doctor, and the rest of us, so she'll have two days of non-stop family spoiling and fun.

Marlene's parents are out of state, and she has a rather strained relationship with them since she quit college and married Uriah, so they don't see each other much. Mar is an only child like me, and she was on a pre-med track at her parents' instance. She hated it. After two years of school, she got engaged to Uriah and changed schools to pursue a vet tech program. Her parents never forgave her or Uriah.

The four of us, along with Hanna, will spend the day together tomorrow, too. Today we'll have our big holiday feast and open gifts, then head into town for the candlelight Christmas Eve service at church. Tomorrow will include a lazy morning, a big brunch, and a slow cooker of chili in the late afternoon. We'll do jigsaw puzzles, play cards, and watch football on television. Throw in the ranch chores morning and evening, and it's pretty much a recipe for a perfect day.

Eric begins stirring beside me. When Uri and Matthew cover the morning chores, he likes to sleep in, but I usually wake with the sun no matter what.

"Morning," mumbles Eric, his voice rough with sleep.

"Good morning," I say. "Merry Christmas."

Eric smiles a sleepy smile and pulls me close, my back to his chest. "Let's start celebrating," he says, sliding his hand around my middle and up to my breasts as he places hot, open-mouth kisses on my neck.

.

xxxx

.

When we finally get out of bed, and out of the shower, and out of bed again, we're running behind schedule. I'm responsible for the ham for the family lunch today. Hanna is making scalloped potatoes to go with it, and Marlene and Shauna are each bringing side dishes. I made Dauntless cake, of course - a peppermint variation for the holiday. It's the same chocolate cake I usually make, but with a touch of peppermint extract added to the frosting, and crushed candy canes sprinkled on top.

I barely get the ham in the oven and the coffee made before Uriah and Marlene arrive, their arms full of gifts. They put the packages under the Christmas tree in the living room and run back to the bunkhouse for their contribution to dinner and the rest of their gifts.

While they're out, Eric comes into the kitchen from feeding the dogs. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck. His hands start to wander.

"Eric!" I squeal. "You're insatiable! Isn't three times enough for you?"

"Never enough," he growls in my ear. "I can't get enough of you."

I bite back a moan. We really don't have time for more. Uri and Marlene will be back any minute. I shoo Eric away and try to distract him with some breakfast.

.

xxxx

.

The family arrives, and Bella is especially wound up at the prospect of presents _and_ cake. As usual, I love the way my house fills with love and laughter when the family arrives.

It takes all of us to keep Bella distracted and away from the presents and ornaments. Shauna tells me that they didn't even put up a tree this year since they would just spend the Christmas season trying to keep Bella away from it.

Ham is Eric's favorite meal, and after this morning's activities he seems to have quite the appetite. I chase him out of the kitchen numerous times before lunch. He seems especially cuddly with me, too. He always finds a way to touch me when we're in the same room - putting his arm around me, holding my hand, kissing my cheek, etc. It's nice, but I wonder what is inspiring the extra affection. Maybe he's just in the Christmas spirit.

I call Bella and the men to the table when lunch is ready, and they all rush to find their places at in the dining room. The food smells terrific, and I think we're all hungry and eager to hand out the presents to our family. I ask Hanna to say grace over the meal, and the rest of the family is quiet for the first time since they arrived at the farmhouse.

It doesn't last long. Once the blessing is spoken, the noise ramps up again. We dig into the delicious meal and Zeke and Uriah entertain us with stories as only they can.

"Did they get this from you?" Eric asks Hanna quietly.

"What?" she asks, "the wild storytelling? That's all Michael. He could go on and on, and he was so funny and entertaining that you didn't even mind. The boys both got his outgoing personality."

"Bella, too," says Eric, point to our niece who is waving her arms as she tells Marlene a story of her own.

Hanna laughs and nods in agreement.

.

xxxx

.

We're stuffed to the gills when we move into the living room.

"Presents!" squeals Bella, running toward the tree.

"Freeze!" says Shauna in her firmest mommy voice.

I nearly fall out of my chair laughing when Uriah and Bella both stop dead in their tracks. Uri acts like a giant kid, but apparently he obeys his sister-in-law like a good boy!

As the oldest "kid" in our family, Zeke and his family will give their gifts first. He shows Bella which box to hand to her grandma, and Bella insists on doing it herself, a theme with toddlers. She struggles with the large package.

"May I help?" Eric asks Bella after she refused to let her parents assist her. "You need big muscles to carry a big present like this one."

Bella tips her head to one side, considering Eric and his offer. "You has big muscles?" she asks.

Eric unzips his hoodie, pulls out an arm, and flexes for our niece. I try not to drool at the sight of his muscular, tattooed arm.

Bella's eyes go wide and she gasps. "Ooh, you naughty. You color on your arm!"

We all laugh, which confuses the little girl.

"That's called a tattoo," Shauna explains to her daughter. "Eric didn't color on his arm, that mark is forever. It's part of his skin."

Bella whips off her shirt and tries to look at her own arms. "I have tutu?" she asks, making us laugh again.

"Only grownups can have tattoos," Eric explains.

By this time Bella has forgotten all about her grandma's Christmas present, so Eric hands it to Hanna. Bella climbs up on the chair beside Eric and pulls up his sleeve. She pokes at the marked skin on his bicep while Hanna opens her gift. Zeke and Shauna bought Hanna a full set of new bath towels, hand towels, and washcloths for her bathroom. She is thrilled by the gift.

Uriah reminds us, as he does every year, that he is older than I am, so he gets his gift next. Bella forgets about Eric's tattoos and goes back to work handing out presents. Zeke and Shauna bought Uri a new pair of work boots, something I've noticed he needed. I even considered getting them for him myself. They got Marlene new pajamas, and girly things like nail polishes and face masks.

Bella brings the gifts for Eric and I next. I open my package and find a book I've been wanting, and an amazingly soft throw blanket in a beautiful ruby color.

"This is wonderful," I say, rubbing my cheek with the downy soft blanket. "It's so soft!"

"Me too!" says Bella running over to rub her face on the blanket.

I wrap the blanket around my niece and pull her up onto my lap. We sit together and watch Eric open his gift. Zeke and Shauna have given him a box set of the _Godfather_ movies.

"I couldn't believe you didn't have those," says Zeke. "It's almost a sin for a mafia movie lover like you to not have the quintessential mafia movies in your collection."

Eric thanks them, and I can see that he is really pleased with the gift. I guess this means we'll be watching the _Godfather_ movies this weekend.

Next it's Uri and Marlene's turn to hand out gifts - with Bella's help, of course. They got Hanna some new bed sheets and a scented candle. Uriah tells Zeke that he won't be getting a gift since he made the naughty list this year. Bella is aghast at this, then laughs when she realizes that Uncle Ooey is teasing, and her daddy only has to wait a little longer.

For Shauna and I, Marlene and Uri bought new handbags. My old bag is really worn. I only carry it to church and running errands, so I haven't bothered updating it, making the gift perfect for me. It seems Marlene's shopping had a theme this year, because they got Eric a new wallet.

Like Eric and I, Uri and Mar had a lot of fun shopping for Bella. They got her a baby doll and all the accessories. It has a blanket, diapers, and several outfits. They also got her a little dolly bed and stroller for her new baby.

It's my turn next, and I give Hanna her sweater, perfume, and puzzle first. I tell Zeke that he is still on the naughty list, and we all laugh again.

I grab a pile of envelopes and stand in front of Shauna and Marlene. I hand one envelope to Shauna, and she opens it to reveal a calendar for February of the upcoming year. She is confused, naturally, so I hand the next envelope to Marlene. Inside her envelope is a brochure from the hotel we'll be staying in on our girls weekend.

"Are we going on a girls' weekend?" she asks excitedly as she shows the brochure to Shauna.

I nod and hand the next envelope to Shauna. In her envelope is a menu for the day spa we'll be visiting, and the package I booked for us is circled. The girls squeal and start talking excitedly. I hand Marlene the next envelope, and she hurriedly tears into it. Inside are business cards for the two restaurants I've booked.

Last I hand them each an envelope to open at the same time. Inside is a little spending money and a map of the outlet mall near the city. They squeal again, and Bella starts jumping around even though she has no idea what's going on.

"We're going on the third weekend in February," I tell the girls. "I made arrangements here at the ranch, with both of your husbands, and with Dr. Jones. We'll leave after school on Friday of that week. I booked us a suite for the weekend, and the spa day. We can shop, and I made dinner reservations for both nights. Then we'll come home on Monday, which is President's Day, so there's no school."

"You thought of everything!" declares Shauna.

"I tried," I say. "Now we just need the weather to cooperate!"

We start jabbering again until Uriah reminds us that it is his turn for a Christmas gift. Eric hands him an envelope.

"Are we going away for the weekend too?" he teases, winking at Eric.

"Nope," Eric deadpans.

Uri opens his envelope and pulls out a grainy ultrasound photo.

"You're having my baby?" he jokes.

"Does that look human to you?" Eric asks.

"Beats me," Uriah says, obviously confused. "I can't see anything in these ultrasound photos."

"I'll spell it out for you," says Eric. "I'm a veterinarian, and your horse is pregnant."

"I'm not an idiot," says Uri.

"Then tell me why we gave you an ultrasound photo for Christmas," I say, rolling my eyes.

Uriah shrugs, and Marlene gasps and snatches the photo out of Uri's hands.

"Sally's having twins?" she asks.

"Yes!" Eric and I say at the same time.

"I thought she was getting big too fast!" says Uriah.

"We didn't just get you an ultrasound photo for Christmas," I say, trying to redirect Uriah. "With two foals you would have full ownership of one of them, and I'm giving you the other one as your Christmas gift. You can keep them and they can live here, or you can train them and sell one or both. They're fully yours, Uri."

"Thank you," he chokes out, getting emotional. Uri may seem like a goofy idiot, but he really does love his horse, and all the horses on the ranch.

"Is she healthy?" He asks Eric.

"Everything looks good," he assures him.

Marlene shows the picture to Bella and tries to explain that Sally has two baby horses in her tummy, but the concept seems to go over the three-year-old's head.

Eric and I pull Bella's gifts out from under the tree, and she tears into the paper. She loves her new kitchen. She cares less for the clothes, but enjoys ripping the paper off packages, no matter what they contain.

Hanna is the last to hand out her gifts. She starts with Zeke, and we're all excited to see his reaction to our group gift. We spent more than we usually would, but we all agreed that this is for Zeke, Shauna, Bella, and the new baby. And we all wanted to invest in Michael's.

Hanna hands her firstborn a manila envelope that has all of our names on it, and I notice his hands are shaking as he opens it. Several pieces of paper fall out of the envelope, and Zeke gasps when he sees what they are.

"What?" he says, disbelieving and uncharacteristically speechless. "Mom?"

Shauna peeks over his shoulder at the papers. "New bar stools?" she asks her mother-in-law. "For the bar?"

"And chairs," Hanna replies. "It's from me, and Uri and Mar, and Tris and Eric. We wanted to do something for the bar so you could get your remodeling done and hire some help before the baby comes. You'll be busy with two kids. Trust me."

Shauna starts crying, thanks to the pregnancy hormones. I can tell that it's a relief to think about Zeke finally hiring some help so he can spend more time at home. We end up receiving a round of hugs from both Zeke, who still seems stunned by the gift, and from Shauna.

"Why do you always get sidetracked when it's my turn next?" asks Uriah, pretending to pout.

His mother takes pity on him and hands him a large box that's for both him and Marlene. Inside is a beautiful new set of bedding. The comforter is fluffy and down-filled, and the duvet, shams, and bedskirt are beautiful in a neutral print that's not too girly.

Hanna hands Eric an envelope next, and he opens it and pulls out a card. He reads quietly for a minute, then wipes his eyes and stands, handing me the card as he pulls Hanna into a long hug.

The card reads:

_Eric, _  
_Welcome to our family. We are so glad to have you here with us. I love watching you with my boys. You fit in seamlessly, like a third brother. And Bella is head over heels crazy about her new uncle the horse doctor._

_You have made Tris so happy, and it's wonderful to see her glowing with hope and love. It's been a long road since she lost Tobias - since we all lost Tobias. It's such a relief and a blessing to see her with you and know that you love her and take care of her the way she deserves._

_Thank you for loving our girl._

_We love you,_  
_Hanna and the Pedrad family_

.

The note brings tears to my eyes, and I stand up to get a hug from Hanna as well. I notice that Eric slips the card back into its envelope and puts it safely in his back pocket. On the first Christmas since he lost his dad, this piece of parental approval must mean a lot to him. I know Hanna's encouragement went a long way with me after I lost my parents. She is a wise woman, and is naturally sensitive to ways that she can support and encourage people when they're struggling.

I sit down next to Eric, who pulls me close. Hanna places a large box by my feet, and Eric and I work together to open it. Inside is a coffee maker, and it's a big upgrade from our current machine. I'm excited to get it out and try it, but Bella still has gifts from her grandma to open.

When Bella finishes opening her toys, I get up to start cleaning up all the paper and packaging littering my living room.

"Wait," says Eric.

I turn to look at him, confused.

"I have one more gift to give," he says.


	13. Chapter 13: Winter

_"I have one more gift to give."_

I'm confused. Eric and I handed out all the gifts we bought our family, and the couples all agreed that we would give our significant others their gifts privately. What does Eric have up his sleeve?

Shauna firmly tells Bella to come sit with her. Zeke and Uri give each other knowing smirks. Hanna pulls out her phone. I suspect that something is up.

"Tris," Eric says, his voice husky with emotion. "This could have been the worst year of my life. When my dad told me he was dying, I felt like I was cut off from my own life and my own future and set adrift. Then one day I stopped by Dauntless to catch up with Uri, and I ended up finding an anchor. You made my dad's last weeks happy ones, and you gave him peace in his passing because he knew I wouldn't be alone. You were my strength on the worst days, and you understood what I was going through like no one else.

"You gave me hope. You gave me a place to live. You gave me a job and a place to go into business. You've given me hundreds of reasons to smile. You share your family with me, and your home, and your life. I know we've only been together for a few months, but we're not kids anymore, and I don't want to wait when I already know what I want.

"I want to have a family with you, and to grow old with you. I want to drive you crazy and keep you sane. And I want all of that forever."

He slips off the couch and onto one knee. "Tris, will you marry me?"

I'm in utter, happy shock, and tears stream down my cheeks. I swallow hard, and nod. "Yes," I croak, my voice broken and emotional.

I launch myself onto my knees and into Eric's arms, and he squeezes me so tight I can't breathe. I squeeze him back with everything I have in me. We stay there, on the floor, locked in a fierce embrace until we feel little arms trying to hug us both. We laugh and share a quick kiss before bringing Bella into our hug.

"No sad," she says in her most comforting toddler tone. "No sad, Auntie Tiss."

"I'm not sad," I say, smiling at my niece. "I'm happy. Sometimes people cry because they have a lot of feelings, remember? Right now I have so many happy feelings that they're coming out of my eyes!"

She giggles at this explanation then runs off, distracted by her new toys.

Eric pulls a jeweler's box out of his pocket and pops open the lid. "I almost forgot this," he says, chuckling at himself.

"I said yes without it, so you know I meant it," I tease him.

We laugh and he removes the diamond solitaire from the box and places is on my finger. "I know this won't be practical on the ranch," he says. "I thought we'd go with simple bands once we're married and you can just wear the diamond on special occasions."

"Very practical, Dr. Coulter."

"I know my woman, future Mrs. Coulter."

We kiss again, and I suddenly remember that we are not alone when the whole Pedrad clan starts cheering and clapping. My cheeks flush hotly, and I hide my face in Eric's chest until everyone quiets down and the attention is off me.

The rest of the day is full of hugs, chatter about wedding plans, and talk about our holiday gifts. We attend the candlelight service at church and all eight of us share a pew. As usual, worn-out Bella chooses to sit with me and falls asleep on my lap. Eric smirks at me, probably thinking, as I am, about our Thanksgiving night talk about our future children, and the physical aspect of our relationship that started that night. He puts his arm protectively around Bella and I, and we stay that way through the rest of the service.

.

xxxx

.

After Christmas, winter is just dull. I can't wait for spring and new baby foals, green grass, and not needing heavy snow gear to go do chores in the barns. I've been feeling tired and sluggish all week. I think I'm coming down with something.

It's terrible timing, because Eric has to leave for a few days. He's going to the city, a nearly five-hour drive, to stock up on supplies for his veterinary practice. Best case scenario, if the predicted winter storm misses us, he'll be back in two days. If the weather lives up to the predictions, it could be even longer.

On Monday he kisses me goodbye. I fight off tears, which is not like me. But I'm tired and fighting a cold, so I feel more emotional than usual. I watch his big truck roll down the driveway and decide to head inside for second cup of the amazing coffee that our new machine makes.

As the day wears on, I'm dragging more and more. I've started coughing, and I feel hot behind my eyes. In the late afternoon I get a text from Eric letting me know that he arrived safely and will call me in the evening before bed. I'm relieved. Although the snow isn't expected to start until tomorrow, winter roads can be treacherous just from the blowing and drifting snow.

I take a couple ibuprofen to get me through the evening chores. I don't want anything to eat at dinner time, so I make a cup of tea. After a brief "how were the roads" call from Eric, I crash, and sleep like a rock in spite of being alone in my bed for the first time in a long time.

Tuesday is worse. I drag through the chores morning and evening. My head aches, my eyes are hot, and a tight cough leaves me winded and exhausted. I give up and go to bed early, taking my cell phone in case Eric calls.

When I wake up, it's still dark. According to my alarm clock, it's not even two in the morning. I'm cold. Clearly I've gotten used to sharing my bed with the human space heater. I didn't even put the heated mattress pad on the bed this winter; I just didn't need it. I pull up the covers, snuggle in up to my ears, and drift off to sleep again.

The next time I wake, it's still dark, and I am absolutely freezing. I really want to put on some socks and a sweatshirt, but to do that I have to leave the covers, and I can't bear the thought. I turn to check the clock, and think I can see my breath in the faint light. That's ridiculous. My clock is working, it's 3:30 am, so the power is on. I must feel cold because of my fever.

My teeth have started to chatter, and there's no way I'm getting back to sleep without getting warmer. I try to reach around for some clothes on the floor without getting out of bed, but hanging my head off the edge makes me dizzy, and I don't feel anything on the floor. It is really cold in here.

I wonder if my furnace is working, and have a moment of panic when I think of my parents' death. Their furnace malfunctioned in the night, and they died of carbon monoxide poisoning. I have carbon monoxide detectors in my house, and they haven't gone off, but I don't think a fever alone accounts for this level of cold.

I sit up in bed, and instantly regret it. The room is bitter. I roll my sheets and blankets around my body like a cotton burrito, and waddle to my dresser. There I grab two pair of warm socks and one of Eric's sweatshirts. As always, I am comforted by his scent. I grab my pillow and waddle downstairs to check the thermostat.

It's definitely not just my fever making me feel chilled. According to the thermostat, it's only fifty-two degrees in my house. I shuffle into the living room and drop my pillow on the couch. I try to push the couch closer to the fireplace, but I don't get too far. Using the last of my physical strength, I lay a fire in my fireplace and strike a match.

As soon as the fire is safely going strong, I drop onto the couch and fall asleep.

The next time I wake up I think it might be morning. There is light outside, but it's the sickly, weak light of a snowstorm. I hear the wind gust and howl outside as I restart the fire. I drag myself to the thermostat, blankets and all. It's down to forty-seven degrees in the house, and I wonder how cold it is outside. I look for my cell phone, but realize I left it upstairs. I know I don't have the energy to go back up there, so I grab the landline on the wall in the kitchen and dial Uriah's number.

"Tris?" he answers the phone questioningly.

"Uri." my voice is barely audible. "Uri, I'm sick," I say.

"I hear that," he says.

"It looks awful out there," I say.

"Matthew and I can cover the chores today," he assures me. I'm thankful I don't need to explain. I'm not sure my voice could make that many words anyway.

"You rest," Uri says.

"Okay," I croak, and we hang up.

I sway as I walk back to the couch. I try again to push it closer to the fireplace and succeed in gaining only a few more feet. I throw a few more logs on the fire and fall asleep again.

The rest of the day is a blur of sleeping, freezing, and throwing another log on the fire. Once when I wake up, the fire is out. I have to rebuild, but I get it going again - no easy feat with frozen, rigid fingers.

.

_The wind stops, and I decide that my house must be buried completely in snow because it's so absolutely muted silent. I'm not sure if it's safe to keep the fire going. I think the chimney might be buried and I don't want to suffocate._

_._

_Another time, I hear sleigh bells, and I try to remember if Christmas is coming or if it's over. It hurts to think, so I give up._

_._

_There are howling ghosts in my attic, but I'm too tired to do anything about it, or even get particularly scared. I'll deal with that later._

_._

_I think Bella is here somewhere. I hear her talking to Tobias about the horsies and doggies. He laughs at her enthusiastic story._

_._

_I hear an explosion, but it seems to be far away. Then it's gone, and I think I imagined it. I start floating, and I wonder if I'm dead and floating off to heaven._

_._

_I'm sitting in Tobias' ancient pickup truck. The one he drove when we were in high school. I'm in the middle of the bench seat, my legs on either side of the gear shifter. I turn my head left and look at the driver. It's Tobias, and he looks exactly the way he did at sixteen. His dark blue eyes sparkle, and he gives me the special smile he reserved just for me as he takes my left hand in his right._

_I feel a pinch as his hand squeezes mine and my engagement ring presses into my finger. The ring is white gold with a diamond solitaire. That's not right. Tobias gave me his mother's ring, which was yellow gold. I sense a presence on my right and turn my head that way. Eric is next to me, and I wonder how I didn't notice his large frame as the three of us are crammed into a truck cab side-by-side._

_Eric frowns. He looks worried and sad. He takes my right hand in his. I look at our joined hands and see the gold wedding set from my first marriage. Aside from confusion, my only thought is that the rings are on the wrong hands. Either that or Eric and Tobias are on the wrong sides of me. But Eric shouldn't be driving Tobias' truck._

_"Tris," says Eric. I turn to look at him. He still looks upset. "Tris, Love, please," he says. "Wake up, Baby. Come back to me."_

I try to tell him that I'm right here beside him in the truck, holding his hand, but my voice won't cooperate, and the scene fades to darkness.

.

xxxx

.

Beeping machinery. Heels clicking on a hard floor. Soft murmurs of faraway speech. Papers shuffling. I slowly begin to notice the sounds of life around me.

A phone vibrates on a table somewhere. I recognize the buzz sound.

"Uri?" a familiar voice asks softly.

Silence.

"About the same," says the voice again. It's low, sad, and resigned.

Silence.

"They're coming back at noon to check her over again. I'll let you know if they say anything."

A long silence.

"Uri."

Silence.

"Uriah."

Silence.

"Shut up, Uri, this isn't your fault." The voice is louder now, agitated.

_Eric_, my brain supplies. It's Eric's voice. He must be on the phone with Uriah.

"I told you, Uri, there was no way you could know. That was a horrible storm. How could you know the furnace would go out, or that she was this sick? There's no way."

Silence.

"Yes," Eric says, sounding exasperated. "It's awful. I know you're sorry and you're upset with yourself, but I'm telling you, you had no way of knowing. I don't blame you, and Tris won't either."

Blame Uri? What would I blame Uri for?

I hear Eric say goodbye and set his phone back on the table. I try desperately to open my eyes.

"Tris?" Eric says, his voice sounding a bit awestruck and hopeful. "Baby I see your eyes moving. Are you trying to wake up?"

I stop for a minute, take a painful breath, and concentrate all my effort on opening my eyelids. I succeed, but immediately snap them shut again.

"T- t- too b- b- br- bright." I wheeze and stammer, making a tremendous effort to eek out those two short words.

"I got it, Baby," says Eric, his voice shifting as he moves around the room. I hear a switch snap off and aluminum blinds crash shut.

"Try again, Love," he coaxes. "Try to open your eyes."

Again, it takes a tremendous effort to pry open my eyelids, but this time it's not so bright.

"Eric," I say, but it comes out in a whisper.

"I'm right here, Baby. Everything is going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere. Are you in pain?"

I take inventory of my body. I ache all over, especially my head. I'm thirsty, parched even. Breathing hurts, and I can't take in a full breath. It's as if my lungs are half their normal size and stiff.

"Thirsty," I wheeze.

"I'll get a nurse," he replies.

I want to object and tell him not to leave me, but I can't make the words. The curtain by the door makes a metallic scraping noise as it's pulled open, and a nurse walks in.

"Miss Eaton! You're awake!" she says in an overly chipper way. And did she just call me Miss? I'm not sure if I should be flattered or insulted. No one in town would call me Miss Eaton, so where am I?

"She's thirsty," says Eric. His voice is clipped and irritated. I can tell he's not a fan of the overly-happy nurse.

The nurse ignores Eric and checks my vitals and all the machines around the bed I'm lying in. When she finishes, she makes some notes on the tablet she carries.

"I'll get you a drink and let the doctor know you're awake," says the nurse, still ignoring Eric.


	14. Chapter 14: Recovery

"Where...am...I?" I manage to ask, one wheezy word at a time.

"Erudite City Hospital," he answers.

"What… day… is… it? I ask.

"Friday," Eric tells me. I think it was Wednesday morning when I woke up in my cold house. But was that three days ago, or weeks?

"How?" I ask.

"How did you get here?" he questions.

I nod. Erudite City Hospital is a long way from Dauntless and our small town. The nearest hospital to our community is the Amity Medical Center. That's about forty miles from town, and nearly an hour from Dauntless. Erudite is a much larger facility, but it's a five hour drive from home. I have no memory whatsoever of leaving the ranch or coming here. Actually, I don't even remember leaving the couch.

"Well," says Eric, rubbing his chin as if trying to remember the details, "I came home as soon as the storm stopped and the roads were passable. I got home late Wednesday night, and when I walked in the house it was barely above freezing in there." He takes in a shaky breath before continuing. "I called for you, though I thought you were probably gone if the furnace wasn't working. Then I saw that the couch was moved, and there was a half-burned fire in the fireplace. I walked in there and found you. On the couch. You were… You were unresponsive."

A tear rolls down Eric's cheek, and he looks like he's having as much trouble breathing as I am. "My truck was still warm," he chokes out, "so I picked you up, blankets and all, and put you in there. I called Uriah, who had no idea your furnace wasn't working or that you were _that_ sick. Then I drove as fast as the roads would allow to the Amity hospital. They looked you over and called Erudite, who sent a helicopter."

"Helicopter?" I ask. It's a barely intelligible squeak, but Eric seems to understand.

"You were really sick," he explains, squeezing my hand. "You have pneumonia. When you got to Amity your fever was at 108 degrees. That's dangerously high. They did ice baths and gave you IV fluids and antibiotics until the helicopter came."

"I... I couldn't come with you," he says, and I hear desperation lingering in his voice even now. "I had to drive. It took forever. I didn't know if you were even... even alive." He sniffles and swallows hard so he can continue talking. I feel terrible for putting him through this, but the only comfort I can offer now is to stay awake for him, and I'm barely managing that.

"When I found you in that cold house, I thought you were already dead," he chokes. "You were barely breathing... Your pulse was so weak. You were cold... so cold. Then you started warming up, and you just got hotter and hotter."

Eric's retelling of his harrowing experience is hard to track. He's upset and it feels like his tale is bouncing around all over the place. My brain is just not keeping up. I do the only thing I can. I squeeze the hand that is holding mine, and rub Eric's knuckles with my thumb.

He responds to my touch and takes a deep, shaky breath. I squeeze his hand again just as the curtain slides and the nurse returns with a doctor.

"Mrs. Eaton, I'm Dr. Jeanine Matthews," says the doctor in a clipped, professional tone.

She's a very put-together looking middle-aged woman. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a perfect, sleek updo. She's wearing a blue dress with a white lab coat over it. Her name is embroidered on the lab coat in the same blue as her dress. I briefly wonder if she has a lab coat to match every outfit or if this just happens to be a coincidence.

Dr. Matthews looks over my chart, and checks the machines again. Meanwhile, the nurse brings me a large plastic insulated mug with a handle. A long bendy straw sticks out the top of the mug. She practically pushes Eric out of the way with her wide body, and he takes a seat a few feet away as the nurse lowers the mug near my shoulder so the straw can meet my mouth.

I open my lips and take a sip of the cold water. It feels so good on my parched mouth. When I have had enough, the nurse sets the mug on the table hovering above my lap.

Now that I've had a drink, I have an easier time answering the doctor's questions.

"What do you remember, Mrs. Eaton?" she asks.

"Um, I guess…" my raspy voice trails off as I try to decide where to begin. "Eric had to... go... to the city." I can't say much before I have to suck in air again.

I tell my story in short sentences, gasping in a breath between each sentence. "He needed... supplies. There was a... a storm coming. I had a cold. Went to bed early. Woke up cold."

"Yes," says the doctor. "You had a high fever."

I shake my head. "No," I say. "Furnace. My house got... really cold."

She looks at me, then checks something in my chart, nodding as the records corroborate my memory.

"I went…" I trail off as a painful, tight cough racks my body. I can't breathe, and I start to panic. Machines beep aggressively around me and Eric rushes back to take my hand.

"Calm down, Love," he tells me, but his voice is panicked. I try to obey, but it's hard to calm yourself when you can't breathe. Spots dance in my vision, and the room goes dark as the doctor slips a mask over my face.

.

xxxx

.

"Thank you, Hanna," I hear Eric's low voice.

Is Hanna here? I hope so. I'm scared and I miss my mom. I seem to be wearing a mask, and it's bothering me.

"I'll call you tomorrow," says Eric, and my heart sinks. "Love you, too."

I pry open my eyes. Eric is sitting in the chair near my bed. He's tapping out something on his phone.

"What… happened?" I croak. I can only say one word at a time as I have to struggle to breathe between each word.

"Stay calm, Love," says Eric, dropping his phone as he hurries to my bedside. "Relax," he pleads. "Your lungs are weak. You need to stay calm so they can keep up."

I nod, not trusting my lungs to provide enough air for my voice. Eric offers me a sip of water, slipping the oxygen mask to one side to make room for the straw. I suck the water as greedily as my limited breathing will allow.

"How are you feeling?" Eric asks me.

"I… want… my… mom." I choke out breath-by-breath. A frightened tear trickles down my cheek.

"Oh, Baby, I'm so sorry," he says sadly as he sits on the edge of my bed.

Eric reaches for me, placing a hand gingerly on each side of my face.

"Can you… hug me?... Please?" I ask, desperate and shaking.

Eric folds me in his strong arms. I can't inhale his scent with the mask pumping oxygen into my nose and mouth, and it makes me sad. I miss Eric's familiar smell. I try to focus on his warmth, and relax into his arms.

.

xxxx

.

Being in the hospital day after day is boring. Every morning Eric shows up bright and early. I've learned that his relationship with my evening nurse has been antagonistic since she wouldn't let him stay in my room beyond visiting hours. Apparently I arrived at Erudite by helicopter early on Thursday morning, and Eric drove in a few hours after. That first night, when I was moved from the emergency room to my hospital room, the nurse made him leave, and he was less than understanding. She had to call security to escort him out, and threatened to not let him return if he didn't obey.

He got a hotel room near the hospital, though he was terrified that I would wake up in the night alone. He has been going back to the hotel for sleep and a shower each night, returning as soon as they'll allow it in the morning. He hasn't forgiven the nurse for making him leave, nor has she forgiven him for being stubborn and belligerent. As time passed, the two worked out an unspoken arrangement where they get along by completely ignoring one another.

When I woke up on Friday, Dr. Matthews thought I was doing pretty well since I could talk a bit and coherently answer her questions. When I had that coughing fit, it triggered a panic attack, which caused me to pass out. Dr. Matthews ordered another chest x-ray and was appalled by the condition of my pneumonia-infected lungs. She ordered me to be sedated until Saturday so my body would have another day of antibiotics and rest before I woke up.

I've been improving every day since then. Eric and I watch television, and he makes a lot of phone calls to the Pedrads, who have been keeping things going back at home. Uriah and Matthew take care of the dogs and the ranch with Marlene's help. Zeke brought a repairman out to fix the furnace in the farmhouse. Shauna and Hanna cleaned the perishable foods out of my fridge so they wouldn't be wasted, and Hanna has been the information hub for all of our friends. Eric talks to her daily, and everyone else gets their information from Hanna. This keeps Eric from dealing with his phone ringing off the hook all day long.

According to Dr. Matthews, the infection in my lungs was under control by Monday or Tuesday, but they're keeping me in the hospital because discharging me means a long drive on winter roads back to our rural home - far from the kind of advanced medical treatment that saved my life. The hospital is a very expensive place to live, so after nearly a week I'm chafing under this arrangement. Plus it's boring. Have I mentioned boring?

Eric walks into my room within minutes of the start of visiting hours. He's carrying a colorful arrangement of tulips.

"Flowers?" I ask. My voice is still weaker than normal, but it gets better every day.

Eric blushes. "It's been two months since you officially became my girlfriend," he says, "and one week since you almost died. I figured this called for flowers."

I smile. "Thank you," I croak. "They look like spring."

He sets the flowers on the table beside my bed. "I have more good news," he says. "I ran into Dr. Matthews on my way in, and she's coming in to talk to you about getting discharged. Maybe today."

I can't help the grin that splits my face. "I can go home?" I ask.

"Well," he hedges, "not exactly." I feel my heart sink, and my chin quivers. I get emotional so easily since I've been sick. I really want to sleep in my own bed again, eat a good meal, and see my friends and animals.

"Baby," Eric pleads. "Please don't cry. We can't go home yet, but If you get discharged I can take you to the hotel with me. Room services cooks much better than the hospital." I try to smile. Eric sits on the edge of my bed and gently strokes my cheek. "Plus," he says in a low voice, "I've missed sharing a bed with you."

I blush at his intimate tone. I've missed that too. It's hard to sleep at the hospital with the nurses coming in every few hours. The bed is too small for Eric and I to cuddle or share a nap. I may have a long recovery before I can think about sex, but I'd give just about anything to curl up in bed with him. Even if I can't go back to Dauntless yet, it will be like coming home.

Dr. Matthews comes in a few minutes later and does her usual check of my vitals and machines. She listens to my chest and back as I breathe as deeply as I can. My lung capacity is still terrible, but at least I can get through the test without dissolving into a debilitating coughing fit like the first few days.

"Have you been walking yet this morning?" she asks in her usual clipped tone. They have me walking the halls of the hospital morning and evening to build up my strength and to test my progress.

"No," I tell the doctor. "Eric just got here, and I usually wait for him."

"Good," Dr. Matthews says, surprising me. "If we're going to discharge you today you'll need your strength." She looks up from her tablet and smiles at me.

"Really?" I ask. I hadn't dared to hope that she would agree, but it looks like I really might be getting out of here today.

The doctor goes over my discharge instructions, and Eric pays rapt attention. We start gathering up what few belongings I have accumulated during my stay, including several lovely floral arrangements from my family and friends. I suddenly realize that I have a problem. I've been wearing a hospital gown since I got here, and I have no idea what to do about clothes or shoes. In fact, I have no idea if I was even wearing clothes or shoes when Eric brought me to the hospital.

"Um, Eric?" I ask, suddenly shy. "What am I going to wear out of here?"

Eric grins at me. "You don't want to leave in that backless gown?"

"And my bare feet, of course. It's not like it's January or anything." I say.

Eric points to a shopping bag on the floor by the bathroom door. "I bought you some things," he says, "and the pajamas you were wearing when you got to Amity were laundered by the hotel."

He grabs the bag and sets it on my hospital bed. I walk up to it and dig in, wondering what Eric chose for me. The first thing I find is clean underwear, the same brand, size, and style I usually buy for myself. I'm relieved. Beneath the package of panties I find two soft cotton tee shirts, a pair of black yoga pants, and a pair of flannel lounge pants. Deeper in the bag I find cotton socks, a pair of moccasin-style shoes, and a warm coat.

I'm so relieved that I nearly cry again. He thought of everything. I take the bag into the bathroom and change into the yoga pants, a tee, and clean socks and underwear. I grab the toothpaste, toothbrush, and deodorant that the hospital gave me and throw them in the shopping bag, then slip my feet into the moccasins.

While I'm eager to leave, I'm surprised to realize that I'm also nervous. I've been in the hospital for a week. I haven't paid any attention to the weather conditions. I don't know what is going on outside these four walls. Anything I need, any setbacks or anything, and medical professionals were at my side in seconds. Once I leave, I'm on my own, and it terrifies me.

There's a timid knock on the bathroom door.

"Tris?" asks Eric. He sounds worried. "Are you okay, Love? Do the clothes not fit?"

"I'm okay," I say.

I must not sound convincing, because he inches the door open and peeks in at me.

"Tris, are you okay?" he repeats.

I nod.

"Do you feel sick? Dizzy?"

I shake my head. No, not sick or dizzy. Eric takes another cautious step towards me.

"Are you hurt or in any pain?" he asks.

I shake my head again. "I'm fine," I say, but my voice sounds weak.

"What's wrong, Love?" he asks. "You can tell me. Are you upset because we can't go home yet?"

"No," I say. "It's just… I'm nervous, I guess. It's strange. I want to get out of here. But I'm scared, too."

"That's why we're not going home yet," he says, wrapping his arms around me. "Besides, your fiance happens to be a doctor. You're in good hands, Baby."

I laugh. "Do I look like a horse, Dr. Coulter?"

He tugs my ponytail. "You do have a lovely mane," he teases. "Come on, let's break you out of this barn."


	15. Chapter 15: Breaking Out

Leaving the hospital and moving into Eric's hotel room seems like a very simple task, but nothing is simple when you're recovering from pneumonia. The hospital makes me ride in a wheelchair until we get outside. Eric lifts me into the cab of his truck and hands me the flower arrangements. It's only a five-minute drive to the hotel, but I stare out the window like I'm seeing the world for the first time.

When we arrive at the hotel, Eric drives right up to the door, then carries me down from his tall truck. I grab the flowers and walk slowly into the lobby. We bypass the front desk and head straight to the elevator and up to Eric's room on the third floor.

By the time we arrive in Eric's comfortable two-room suite, I'm exhausted and short of breath. We set the flowers on the counter of the kitchenette, and I drop onto the couch. Eric kisses my forehead, then leaves to move his truck and get the rest of my things. While he's gone I wiggle my way out of my coat and lean back into the comfortable cushions.

.

xxxx

.

I wake up warm for the first time in a week. Where am I? Is my fever back? I blink my eyes and see my pillow rising and falling with steady breaths.

Slowly I let my gaze wander up to Eric's sleeping face, and I'm instantly calm. He looks so peaceful and content. I revel in the fact that we can be close like this again. Even though he was with me the entire time I was in the hospital, I missed him.

"Love?" Eric's deep, soothing voice gets my attention. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I reply. "I'm warm."

Instantly, concern fills Eric's face, and he places a hand on my forehead.

"Not like that," I say, swatting at his hand. "I feel cozy, and warmed all the way through for the first time since I woke up to an unheated house."

"What happened, anyway?" he asks. "When I left on Monday morning you were fine, and when I got back Wednesday night you were on death's door."

I tell him what I remember - about getting sick, waking up cold, and the strange things I imagined while I was out of it. He chuckles when I tell him about ghosts, and Bella and Tobias' place in my imaginings. He tells me about the time he got his wisdom teeth removed, and how he woke up from anesthesia talking about koala bears wearing little Hawaiian shirts.

We order room service for lunch. After a week of hospital food, the simple turkey sandwich and fruit salad taste like gourmet cuisine. Eric orders a movie from the pay-per-view menu, and we get to watch a new release I've been waiting to see.

As dinner approaches, Eric tries to tempt me by offering to pick up any food I want. I keep it simple and ask for Chinese food, and ice cream for dessert.

When Eric is out getting dinner, I'm surprised by the phone ringing. I don't have my cell phone, so I assume it's Eric calling the only way he can.

"Roadkill Cafe. You kill 'em; we grill 'em," I say by way of sarcastic greeting.

Loud laughter greets me. "You must be feeling better!" I recognize Zeke's voice.

"Zeke!" I exclaim. "I thought you were Eric."

"It's good to hear your voice, Baby Sister," he says, uncharacteristically serious. "We thought for a while that we'd lost you."

"Zeke," I say softly. We're quiet for a minute, then I try to lighten the mood. "You know you can't get rid of me that easily."

Zeke chuckles softly and sniffles, and I wonder if he was crying. The thought touches my heart, and makes me feel guilty for putting my family through this.

We talk for a few minutes about normal things. He tells me about the work he's doing updating the bar, and what the repairman said about my furnace. I tell him what the doctor said about my health, and how grateful I am to have Eric here to care for me.

Zeke promises to call again the next day so Bella can talk to me, and I'm excited by the prospect of a phone call from my niece. Hotel life is going to be just about as boring as hospital life, so I'm looking forward to a chat with the excitable toddler.

Eric returns with our dinner, and we enjoy the salty Chinese dishes and sweet, creamy ice cream. We spend the rest of the evening curled up on the couch, enjoying the space to cuddle and not being interrupted by doctors and nurses.

.

xxxx

.

On Saturday morning, I wake up alone in the big hotel bed. I listen for sounds that indicate Eric is in the bathroom, and instead hear him talking to someone.

"No," he says quietly, "none of that. There's a drug store just down the street, so we're set. I bought a charger when we got here, too."

He's quiet for a minute, and the lack of another voice makes me realize he must be on the phone. I look at the clock, and see that it's not quite seven in the morning. It's early for phone calls, but back home we would be out in the barn already.

I think about my ranch, and the horses and dogs. I haven't taken off more than two days in a row since I moved to Dauntless when I was nineteen. A week in the hospital and three days recovering in a hotel is not exactly a vacation. Eric is doing everything he can to make me comfortable and try to make the most of our time away.

Yesterday he did some shopping while I napped, and came back with bathing suits for us, some card games, and a jigsaw puzzle on top of the grocery items he had originally been after. We cooked our own dinner in the suite's kitchenette, then played cards together. Hanna called before bedtime, and it was wonderful to talk to her.

The family has been so careful about calling. Wednesday I spoke to Zeke. Thursday Shauna and Bella called. Yesterday it was Hanna. I'm seeing a trend, and hoping to hear from Uri or Marlene today. Eric told me that Uriah has been beating himself up over my sickness. He feels responsible because he knew I was sick, but didn't come to the house to check on me, and because he didn't notice that my furnace had gone out. That's ridiculous, of course. We were in the middle of a raging blizzard. How was Uri supposed to notice the lack of furnace exhaust coming off my roof in the high winds? And why would he risk his own safety checking on me when we both thought I just had a cold or something?

But I know all about the irrational guilt that comes with this sort of situation. For years I tortured myself with ways I could have prevented my parents' and then Tobias' deaths. I really want to speak to Uri to make sure he understands that none of this is his fault.

"Love?" I startle as Eric interrupts my thoughts. "Everything all right?"

I nod. "I just woke up," I say. "I was daydreaming about home. I've never been away this long."

Eric smiles softly and sits down beside me on the bed.

"We can go home soon," he promises. "You're recovering well. I'm hoping that when we see Dr. Mathews on Monday she'll give us the go ahead."

"If not, maybe she'll agree to let us go part way home," I suggest. "We could get a hotel near Amity Medical Center for a few days."

"That's a good idea," he says. "We'll recommend that as a compromise if we need to."

I smile. That would make us close enough for visitors.

"I have an idea that could help you get strong faster," says Eric. "There's a pool in the hotel, and it's nice and quiet during the day. You can't go near the hot tub yet, but Dr. Mathews said it would be okay for you to walk or play in the pool a bit. I bought us swimwear the other day, and some big fluffy towels so you won't get chilled coming back. What do you say?"

"Can we have breakfast first?" I ask.

"So demanding," Eric teases. "You're the patient. If you want breakfast, you got it."

"Thank you, Doctor," I reply.

We order room service, then change into the swimwear that Eric bought us. Eric looks drool-worthy in nothing but a pair of board shorts. I, on the other hand, look like death warmed over. My skin is dull, and I still have dark circles under my eyes in spite of all the sleep I'm getting. My shoulders slump, and I feel tears gathering as Eric approaches me.

"Love," he says, "you're going to need to put something over that suit. I don't want you getting cold, nor do I want other men staring at my sexy fiancee."

The tears break free and roll down my cheeks as I pull away from him and drop down on the unmade bed. "Eric, don't tease me. I know I look like crap. I'm recovering from pneumonia! That's not nice."

I flop over and roll onto my side, covering myself, head and all, with the blankets. I can't stop the sobs that shake me.

"Baby!" says Eric, sounding shocked. I know he didn't mean anything by it. Eric isn't cruel. But I'm weak and tired from being sick, and I just can't take him teasing me about my sickly appearance when he looks like some kind of ancient warrior god.

There's a knock on the door, and Eric pats my back through the blankets. "I'll be right back," he says softly.

I assume the visitor at the door is room service delivering our breakfast, so I tune out their conversation and give in to my feelings. I am so frustrated, and sick of feeling like crap and being kept away from home. I'm exhausted, but all I do is sleep. I'm weak, and I get winded by a simple flight of stairs. I'm short of breath now just from crying. This is so frustrating, and I've had it! I'm out of patience. I just want my body and my life back!

A moment later Eric pulls the blankets away from my face, and wraps his arms around my body. "Tris," he says in a firm but soothing voice, "you need to calm down. You're going to start coughing again. Breathe with me, Baby."

He takes several exaggeratedly slow, deep breaths, and I try to match the pattern. When I'm no longer sobbing or gasping for air, Eric turns me to face him.

"What happened?" he asks me. "One minute we were getting ready to go swimming, and the next minute you're freaking out and accusing me of picking on you. What did I say?"

My gaze falls to Eric's perfect muscular and tattooed chest. "I just… It's just… Eric, I look like shit. And I feel like shit. And you're like this perfect specimen, and I just don't think it's fair for you to tease me about how I look. I mean, I know I'm nothing special, even on my best day, but I'm sick, and I look like it. Then you're all, 'ooh, I gotta cover you up because you're so sexy.' It's just mean."

"Beatrice Grace Eaton!" Eric says firmly. Hearing my full name gets my attention, and I look up at his face. "You are so unbelievably beautiful. I was not picking on you; I was dead serious. I know you're not feeling completely better yet, but you do _not_ look like shit. You look like the beautiful woman I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with. You are strong, and brave, and you have this incredible spark to you. It's a little dull right now, I'll give you that much, but it's still there. You are still the amazing, gorgeous woman I fell in love with. I see that. Others see that. Trust me. You get more than your share of looks from men."

I scoff, causing Eric to roll his eyes at me. "I am _not_ teasing you, Beatrice. You. Are. Beautiful. I have trouble keeping my hands off of you. I only resist because I want you to get better first. And once you're better, I'm going to have my way with you on every surface of our house."

He leans in and kisses me passionately. I pull him closer, but he won't put weight on my chest. Instead, Eric rolls us so he is on his back and I'm hovering over him. We kiss until I need air, which is a sadly short amount of time. As we pull apart, Eric guides my hand to the hard bulge in his shorts.

"Does this feel like I'm teasing you?" he asks.

I press the heel of my hand into him as I slide it down his length. Eric groans, and I shake my head in answer to his question.

"It feels like I'm teasing you," I whisper. "Let me touch you," I say timidly.

"Tris, you don't have to. I'm happy to wait for you."

"I want to," I say, punctuating my response with another firm stroke along his erection.

.

xxxx

.

Breakfast is cold by the time we remember that it's there. We eat anyway, and go down to the swimming pool. Eric can't keep his hands off me in the pool. We float and frolic in the water like little kids.

"Eric," I say around noon, "I hate to say this, but I'm getting tired. I think we should go back to the room."

Eric hops out of the pool and grabs a big beach towel for me. He wraps me up, and I sit in a chair while he dries off and gathers our things. The next thing I know, I startle awake as strong arms lift me from the chair.

"Eric!" I squeak.

He chuckles. "Just rest, Love."

I let him carry me back to the suite, then take a quick shower and get dressed while he prepares a simple lunch. We eat together, then I lay down for a nap while he cleans up and showers.

A knock on the suite door wakes me up. I'm alone in bed, but Eric must be in the other room, because I hear the outer door open. I'm fully awake now, and curious about who knocked, so I get up.

When I open the door between the suite's bedroom and living space, I'm shocked to see Uriah and Marlene. I gasp, and as fast as they can spin to face me, I'm in Uriah's arms, and we're both sobbing.

"I'm so sorry, Tris!" He cries. "We nearly lost you, and it was all my fault!"

I know that the whole family, including Eric, have been trying to talk him out of his guilt, so I try a different tactic. I pull back from his embrace and feign a shocked reaction. "You did this? You infected me with pneumonia?! Uri, how could you? How _did_ you?"

Uriah looks shocked for a second, then gives a little laugh. "Okay, I didn't give you pneumonia, but I still feel responsible."

"You broke into my house in the middle of the night and broke my furnace?"

"No," he replies, "but I should have done something. I should have known."

"Do you control the weather?" I ask. "Did you make the wind blow and order up a winter storm?"

"Tris, stop being ridiculous! Okay? I didn't cause what happened, I know. I just feel guilty for not checking on you. It kills me that you laid there, miserable and cold, and nearly died, while I was just across the yard, completely oblivious."

"Uri," I say, completely serious now, "you just said that you didn't cause what happened. That means that it's not your fault. I know that creepy feeling that something happened right under your nose while you were unaware. I know the guilt over not doing something. But Uri, _you didn't know_. Do you blame Marlene, or Matthew? They were on the ranch, too. They were just as unaware of my furnace trouble and how sick I had become. But you don't blame them. Why blame yourself?"

He drops his gaze to the floor. "I just… I don't know. I'm your second around the ranch. And before Eric left he said, 'Keep an eye on Tris,' so I just feel like I failed. You know?"

"Uri," I say calmly, "crap happens. I know that more than anyone. My sickness, the weather, the furnace… It was just a perfect storm. Eric and I don't blame you for any of this. And if it makes you feel better, I officially forgive you for not endangering yourself in a blizzard to come check on me."

My brother gives me a long hug, and over his shoulder I see Eric smiling. I know he's been trying to convince Uriah to stop feeling guilty, but hasn't gotten very far with it. Hopefully hearing from me will finally put it to rest.

.

xxxx

.

Having Uriah and Marlene visit is as good a medicine as the cough syrup and antibiotics I'm on. We spend the afternoon and evening together, laughing, eating, and playing cards. As always, Uriah makes me laugh with his stories. They also brought me my cell phone, some of my own clothes, and artwork from Bella, all of which make me more comfortable.

It's about a five hour drive from Dauntless to the city, so Uriah and Marlene are the first visitors we've had. They decided to surprise me so I wouldn't be disappointed if something came up at the ranch or the weather turned bad and they couldn't come. There are a lot of moving pieces for three of the four people who work my ranch to all be out of town at once. Matthew is taking care of things with Zeke coming out to help. Uri and Mar can only stay one night, then they have to make the long drive back.

On the second day of their visit, we decide to try taking me out for the first time. Eric wraps me up like a fragile vase and all but carries me down to the hotel lobby while Uriah warms up his truck and brings it around to the door. I climb in with only a little assistance, and we go for a drive around the city before finding a restaurant for lunch.

It's amazing all the things you take for granted and never give much thought to. Between nearly dying and going through a long, boring recovery in isolation, every little thing interests me. I feel the sharpness of the winter air as if for the first time. I hear the gentle clink of dishes at the restaurant and the hum of voices. I soak up all the lights and people with hungry eyes.

"Tris? Baby are you okay?" Eric's voice gets my attention.

"I'm good," I reply. "What's up?"

He smiles. "You were kind of out of it for a bit, and didn't respond when I was talking to you. Are you feeling okay?"

"I feel fine," I say. "I was just taking it all in. I've been in solitary confinement for over a week, so there's just a lot to look at."

"Well, we're back at the hotel," he says gently. "Are you ready to go in?"

"I guess," I say, reluctant in spite of the fact that I'm fighting back a yawn.

Uriah and Marlene have to head back to the ranch. They have a long drive and it gets dark early. I stay in the lobby, talking with Marlene, while Uriah gets their things from the room. We take our time, talking and hugging, and delaying their departure as long as possible.

"I have an appointment with Dr. Matthews tomorrow," I remind them. "I'll let you know what she says. We're hoping she'll let me go home. If not, we're going to suggest going part way home. Since I'm not critical I should be fine staying near Amity."

"That sounds fair," says Uriah, "but you listen to the doctors, and don't push yourself."

"Spoken like a good brother," says Eric, who has been trying to give me the same advice ever since we left the hospital.

I know I'm exhausted from going out this morning, because their words have me fighting tears.

"I think it's time to get going," says Marlene, noticing my reaction. She ushers her husband out of the hotel after one last round of hugs.

Eric and I watch them drive away, then head back to our room where I sleep away the rest of the afternoon.

.

xxxx

.

"Well, Tris," says Dr. Matthews, pushing her glasses up her nose, "you are doing remarkably well for someone who nearly died so recently."

We're at the hospital for my follow-up visit. I've been poked and prodded, checked and monitored, and now I'm just waiting to hear the words I've been longing for since I woke up in the hospital.

"Can I go home?" I ask.

"I think it's safe for you to return home," she says. My heart soars. "Though I am concerned about how far you live from a medical facility." My heart sinks.

"You know he's a doctor, right?" I say, pointing at Eric.

"Tris!" he exclaims. "I'm a veterinarian. It is not the same thing."

"Horses can get pneumonia. Besides, we're all animals, aren't we?" I try, half teasing and half desperate.

Dr. Matthews chuckles, a sound I didn't expect her to be capable of. She always seems so serious.

"What if we get closer to home, but stay near the hospital at Amity for a few days?" I suggest.

I see Dr. Matthews' face pucker a bit, as if I suggested something distasteful. She has made several disparaging remarks about Amity Medical Center since I arrived. Apparently they're a bit simple and backwoods for her taste, though she uses words like "under-equipped."

"I don't think that's necessary," she says in her usual clipped tone. "As you said, you already have a _horse doctor_. You're showing no signs of trouble, so I doubt you'll need emergency medical attention again for the pneumonia."

"So I can go home?" I ask, ignoring her snarky horse doctor comment.

"Yes, Tris," she says. "I'm clearing you to return home. But you'll have to take it easy. Recovering from serious pneumonia takes time, and you'll need plenty of rest to continue your recovery."

As soon as the words are out of her mouth, I'm ready to bolt for the door.

"Hold up," Eric interrupts. "Let's get very specific here. Are you saying we can leave here and drive back home this afternoon? And what do you mean by rest? This woman is very stubborn and independent. I need to know exactly what she's allowed to do before she goes looking for loopholes."

I stick out my bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. Dang it. He's right. I'm the kind of person who says I'm fine no matter what and just pushes through. Eric is the protective type who won't let me wipe my own backside if he thinks it's too much for me. Maybe it is good for us both to hear the doctor's version of my restrictions.

"First off, I would suggest you break down the drive. I believe you said it's five hours to your home, correct?" we nod, and she continues. "I think it would be best if you went halfway this afternoon, get a good night's rest, then go the rest of the way tomorrow. Once you get home, I want you to spend a good week or so resting. Let your fiance and ranch hands do the work. Take short walks if the weather cooperates. No strenuous exercise, things like that. Ease your way back into your routine. If you feel yourself getting short of breath, stop. If you feel faint or dizzy, stop. If you feel tired, sleep. Drink plenty of fluids. Finish the prescriptions I've given you, even if you're feeling better. Do you understand?"

I nod. I can do this. I have to listen to my body.

"What about, um, what about sex?" asks Eric, nervously.

My face flushes bright red, but Dr. Matthews is unfazed.

"Like all physical activities, you'll need to ease back into it," she says in her usual clinical voice. "Give it a few more days so Tris can build up her strength and lung capacity.

"Are there any other questions?" she asks.

Eric and I both shake our heads.

"Well, then you're free to go," the doctor says, dismissively.

"Thank you for everything," I say to her. I mean it, and at the same time I hope I never have to see the woman again. At least not at the hospital.


	16. Chapter 16: Home

Is there anything better in life than coming home? After driving from the city to Amity at turtle speed, Eric and I spent one night in a hotel near Amity Medical Center. He wanted to stay longer, just to be sure I was okay, but I assured him repeatedly that I was fine. We drove the last little bit this morning, and here we are, home sweet home.

As we pull into the driveway, I'm greeted by the happy barking of my two chocolate labs. Eric insists that I wait for his help getting out of the truck, and I roll my eyes but humor him. It's probably a good thing I did, because Hershey and Cocoa go wild when they see me. I can tell that they missed me as much as I missed them. The dogs' ruckus alerts Uriah and Matthew to our arrival, and they walk out of the barn with big grins on their faces.

"Welcome home!" Matthew calls across the snowy yard.

The two men hurry toward us and take turns hugging me. They ask the typical "how are you feeling" type questions, and I answer them as I take in the sight of home.

"We need to get you inside. It's too cold out here to stand around gossiping," says Eric.

I agree, and the men help Eric and I get our things inside. The house is toasty warm, just as it should be, and it smells like home. I hang my coat in its place, and set my shoes on the rug. I pass through the kitchen and into the living room. The couch is back where it belongs, and everything is spotlessly clean. Obviously Hanna or someone came out and cleaned my house. There isn't even a speck of dust on anything.

I hear the three men talking in the kitchen as I continue my tour of home. I look at the thermostat and see that it's been upgraded to a nice digital model. It's set at 72 degrees, just how I like it. I wander through the dining room and stop to look at the picture of Tobias and I on our wedding day.

"I almost joined you," I say quietly, looking at my late husband's beautiful blue eyes in the photo. "I love you, but I'm not ready to go yet."

"I hope not," says a low voice from the doorway.

I startle, and turn to see Eric standing there, his head down. Eric is a large man - tall, broad, and muscular, but in this moment he looks small and frightened. I cross to him in two large steps and throw myself into his arms. We both begin weeping, all the fear and anxiety of the last two weeks pouring out of us as we cling to one another.

"I can't…" he chokes out, "I can't lose you. I can't go through that. Tris, you have no idea how terrified I was - how desperate. I thought you were dead. I thought my life was over. Baby, I don't know what I would do without you."

I let him sob on my shoulder as my own tears rain down my face. There's nothing I can say to answer that except, "I know. I love you. I'm sorry. I'm here. It's going to be okay," so I repeat those worthless but deeply felt little phrases over and over. "I know, Eric. It's okay. I'm here. I love you. It's okay."

"Don't ever leave me," he pleads.

"Eric, you know I can't control that," I say. "There are no guarantees. But I will do whatever I can to be here with you for many, many years. I love you. I don't want to leave."

Eventually the tears run out, and we wipe our eyes and walk back to the kitchen, still clinging to one another. Eric seats me at the table and opens the fridge.

"Hanna and Shauna were here yesterday," he informs me. "They did some cleaning and brought groceries. I was thinking I would make us grilled cheese with this nice bread Hanna made. Do we have any tomato soup?"

I direct him to the cans of tomato soup in the pantry.

"There's a hot dish in here for dinner tonight, too. All we have to do is heat it up."

I get the directions from Eric and set the oven on a time bake cycle. He slides the covered dish into the oven. Now we won't have to worry about it again until we're ready to eat tonight.

He heats up the soup and grills the sandwiches on the stove top. The meal is simple, warm, and filling. I can't help the moan that escapes me as I taste the first bite of crispy bread and warm, gooey cheese.

After lunch we go upstairs for a nap. I think it's the best sleep I've ever had in my life. There's just nothing like being at home in your own bed, in the arms of the man you love.

.

xxxx

.

Day by day I've gotten stronger. Pneumonia is a beast of an illness, and it takes a long time to recover. Even after a couple weeks of being home, I still get winded easily. I'm well enough to do most of my usual chores around the ranch, but I'm still frustrated with my progress. I can't wait to go riding again, and to resume extracurricular activities with a certain handsome veterinarian.

Speaking of Eric, I need to join him in the barn for the evening chores.

"Eric?" I call, entering the barn.

"Nope," calls Matthew, "you're stuck with me. Eric went out to fix a break in the fence."

"Don't you usually do that?" I ask.

"Yeah, but he offered," says Matthew. "Said he wanted to go for a ride."

Hmm. This is the second time this week that Eric volunteered to go out somewhere rather than do chores with me. Cabin fever season is here in full force.

.

xxxx

.

The weeks add up, and I continue to get stronger. The weather is good today, and I'm thrilled to go riding for the first time since I got sick. Out in the barn I pet Lightning and get my saddle and bridle out of the tack room. I can't wipe the smile off my face as I get her ready to ride.

I consider where I could go on my ride. Should I check out the now empty wheat fields, where you can see for miles? Maybe I should ride out to the pasture where the horses are today. I know, I'll go visit Tobias.

Eric is in the corral with a couple of mares as I head out.

"Are you sure you're ready to ride?" he asks.

"More than ready," I assure him.

He nods, and I wave on my way past him.

The air is crisp and cold, and I relish the familiar feel of my horse trotting across the snowy pasture. I take in the sights of my ranch, my home. It's beautiful, wild, and desolate.

I slow my horse as I approach the cemetery fence. Dismounting, I tie Lightening. I doubt she would run off, but January is not the time to risk it.

The snow isn't deep enough to inhibit me as I make my way to Tobias' grave. I stand before his stone and suddenly feel shy.

"Hey, Tobias," I say. "I miss you." That seems like the thing to say. It's true, but not as acute as how I used to miss him.

"Things are going well at Dauntless. It's nice having a vet in house. He's taking care of me, too. It's different since I was sick, though. He's more distant - keeps busy with vet calls and ranch chores. I don't know if he's just gotten busy, if he has cabin fever, or if he's getting cold feet. I don't know. It's probably nothing… I worry though, you know? I kind of have a track record, and I guess it's given me abandonment issues or something. Eric could do so much better. Dauntless was _our_ dream. Eric left to go to college. He lived in the city for eight years. And he's a vet, you know. He could make a lot more money somewhere else. I'm just afraid he'll wake up one day and resent me - like I'm keeping him trapped here.

"I'm getting kind of cold," I confess. "I should probably get back before the posse comes looking for me. I'll be back. I love you."

I turn away from my husband's grave, and walk slowly back to my horse. I'm tired, and it's a ways back to the barn and house.

.

xxxx

.

Our girls weekend away is coming up. I'm not as excited about it after spending all that time in the city recovering, but I know we'll have fun. We're not going anywhere near the hospital, nor are we staying at the same hotel where I spent my recovery. Instead, we'll be at a swanky hotel in the heart of downtown.

I know we'll have fun, but I dread being away from Eric. I mean, we live together, and he was with me pretty much every moment of my illness and recovery, but something about him feels off and distant lately. It's like he has something on his mind, but he never opens up about it.

I tried bringing up wedding plans last night. We decided soon after getting engaged that autumn is the best time for us to get married. Spring and summer are just too crazy for the ranch and for a large animal vet. But by fall things should slow down. Plus we'll have more money then after the lease payment for the wheat fields comes in and the young colts are sold.

When I brought up the wedding last night, Eric didn't seem responsive. I know grooms aren't big on wedding planning, so I wasn't expecting Marlene-level excitement, but he was downright cold. All I asked was whether he thought we should hold the wedding outdoors here at the ranch or if we should be married in the church. He just kind of grunted and said, "yeah, I don't know," then left the room. I didn't have the heart to bring it up again.

We haven't been very physical lately, either. Since I was sick, Eric has been so protective and nervous that he doesn't initiate sex. And when I tried, I got shot down with comments about how he "doesn't want to hurt me," or that he "doesn't think I'm ready." After a while I just quit trying because getting rejected just hurts too much.

I'm starting to think that Eric has changed his mind about us. I haven't said anything because, to be honest, I don't want to hear the truth. I don't want to lose everything. I guess that's the real thing that's bothering me about girls weekend. I'm afraid that when I get back it'll be over.

"Tris?" Eric's voice pulls me out of my musings, and I quickly swipe at my eyes so he won't see the tears that slipped out.

"Yes?" I reply, turning to the back door where he is just walking in.

"I need to run to town. Would you like to come with and have dinner at the cafe tonight?" He asks.

"Um, sure," I reply. "I haven't started anything for dinner tonight. We can do that."

I run upstairs for a sweater, and check my reflection in the mirror. I look a lot better than I did when I first got out of the hospital, but I'm still nothing special. My undyed blonde hair is a boring dishwater color. My blue-grey eyes and winter-pale skin are nothing special without makeup, and I never wear makeup.

Downstairs I grab my winter coat and step into a pair of boots while Eric feeds the dogs their afternoon meal. We climb into Eric's big truck and head into town. The drive is quiet, but it doesn't feel like the comfortable, companionable silence I'm used to sharing with Eric. Instead, the quiet is oppressive, heavy with anxiety and unspoken words.

"Are you feeling alright?" Eric asks, glancing at me as he drives.

"Fine," I reply.

Eric chuckles nervously. "My dad always said that when a woman says 'fine,' she's anything but."

"I'm fine," I repeat. "My lungs get stronger every day and I'm pretty much back to doing everything I've always done. You don't need to worry about me."

"Hmm," Eric replies, and we get quiet again.

In town we easily finish Eric's errands, then make our way to the cafe on Main Street. It's never busy after lunch, so we quickly find a booth and sit across from one another. A young waitress, probably in her early- to mid-20s wiggles her way over to our table.

"Hey Eric!" she greets him, batting her eyelashes. "How have you been?"

"I'm good, um," he glances at her nametag, "Bridget. How are you?"

"Great!" she says enthusiastically, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Iced tea," he replies.

"And for you, Mrs. Eaton?"

It might be my imagination, but I could swear she put a weird emphasis on using my formal name. I feel like a schoolmarm or something.

"I'll have the same," I say.

The waitress twirls and hurries back to the counter to get our drinks.

"Who is she?" Eric asks quietly.

"The Johnson's younger daughter," I tell him.

"Oh, okay," he says, his memory coming clear. "I graduated with her older sister. I think she was like three or four years behind us in school."

Bridget wiggles back to our table and sets down Eric's drink. "Eric," she says flirtatiously. She sets down my glass as well. "Ma'am," she says in a much colder voice.

This is definitely odd.

"What can I get you to eat?" she asks, standing close to Eric with her hip jutted toward him in a familiar way and her hand back on his shoulder.

I order my dinner, and she scribbles on her order pad. Eric does the same, and she winks at him as she walks away.

I excuse myself and use the restroom. On my way back to the table, I overhear Bridget and another waitress talking about us, so I stay beside the jukebox to listen without being seen.

"Eric is soooooo cute!" Bridget squeals.

"I heard they're together," says the woman I can't see.

"Eric and Mrs. Eaton?" says Bridget, sounding shocked.

"Mrs. Eaton?" says the unseen woman. "Tris is hardly older than you are."

"She's like 35!" argues our waitress. "That's like ten years older than me. She's too old for him."

"She's barely 30, and she doesn't even look that old."

I've heard enough, so I walk back to the table, not looking in the waitress' direction. Eric must sense my frustration.

"Everything alright?" he asks.

"Fine," I mumble.

"That word again," he says, smiling warily at me.

Bridget brings our meals. She practically drops mine in front of me, and leans seductively towards Eric as she places his plate in front of him.

"Thanks," he says coldly, not looking at the flirty young woman.

When Bridget is out of earshot, Eric reaches for my hand. "Don't let her bother you," he says.

I nod, and put a bite in my mouth so I don't have to say anything. She probably spit in my food.

When we're done eating, Eric takes the check to the register. I hear Bridget giggling, but a glance in their direction shows Eric as stone-faced as he has been the whole time we've been there.

He looks upset. I wonder if he's wishing I wasn't with him. We got together under such emotional circumstances with his dad's illness and death. Maybe he's having second thoughts. Maybe we shouldn't have rushed into this.

"Ready?" Eric asks, snapping me out of my heavy thoughts.

I nod and follow him out to the truck. We climb in silently, and Eric begins the drive back to Dauntless.

About halfway home, Eric pulls the truck onto a gravel service road and puts it in park. He grips the steering wheel and rests his forehead on it.

"Tris," he says in a voice filled with regret, "I can't do this anymore."

**A/N: Clearly I had a thing for cliffhangers when I wrote this story. I'll be back soon**!


	17. Chapter 17: I Can't Do This Anymore

**A/N: You guys... My phone has been BLOWING UP with reviews after that cliffhanger. Hopefully you'll forgive me since the next chapter is here after just one day. If you haven't read chapter sixteen, which came out on Tuesday, July 30, go back a page or you will be confused!**

**I write my stories before I start posting, then I do a final edit as I release chapters. That way I will NEVER abandon a story on you! Abandoned stories are my biggest Fanfic pet peeve! But any time I leave you with a cliffhanger I feel a mild sense of panic that something will happen to me and I'll leave you all hanging. **

**Enjoy the next chapter!**

**XOXO,  
Libby **

_._

_"I can't do this anymore."_

.

I can't breathe. Part of me knew this was coming. I mean, everybody leaves me, right? But I'm still shocked. It hurts like being punched. Like the stabbing chest pain of pneumonia. Like getting the phone call that your parents are dead. Like watching your husband get kicked by a wild horse. It just hurts, and nothing exists but the pain.

"I didn't want to do this to you," Eric starts rambling. "You're just getting over pneumonia. And I tried, Tris, God knows I tried. But I can't live with this uncertainty and... and _instability_. I didn't want to push you, Baby, but I'm at my wits' end! This is so _hard_!"

He smacks his palm on the steering wheel and finally turns to face me. A glimpse of his stormy grey eyes is my undoing. The dam bursts, and tears pour down my face.

"Please don't cry, Love" he pleads. "You're making this harder."

My gut-wrenching agony suddenly hardens into steely anger.

"Don't call me that," I spit. "You don't get to say that shit and still call me that. And _unstable_? What the hell, Eric?!"

I unbuckle my seatbelt and jump out of the truck. I don't care that it's February in Montana. I don't care that it's probably five miles to Dauntless. I don't care that I'm just getting over pneumonia. I cannot sit there another minute and listen to the man who supposedly loved me call me _unstable_.

"Tris!" Eric calls after me as I walk back toward the county road. "Baby I'm sorry! Get back in the truck."

I flip him a middle finger over my shoulder and keep walking. A truck door slams, and Eric stomps after me. I can't outrun him, so I don't even try. I just keep walking.

When Eric catches up to me, he puts a hand on my shoulder to stop me. I shrug him off and try to keep walking, but I slip on the icy road. Eric catches me before I hit the ground, and lifts me into his arms.

"Let me down!" I yell, trying to wiggle out of his vice-like grip.

"No!" He says firmly. "I'm taking you home. You can yell at me where it's warm."

"Fine!" I snap. "Now put me down!"

Eric sets me carefully on the ground. I shove away from him and march back to the truck. He follows, his hands hovering near my arms but never touching me. We reach for the door handle at the same time, and I swat him away and do it myself. Eric walks around the truck and climbs in. When we're both buckled up he resumes the drive home.

I'm the first to break the silence. "You can move back into the bunkhouse until you figure out what you want to do." It kills me to say that, but after being called "unstable" I feel the need to be the voice of reason and practicality.

"Baby, I think we're having two different conversations, and it's confusing me," he says. "I didn't realize it meant this much to you."

_What?_ And he calls _me_ unstable!

"What the hell, Eric!" I spit. "We're _engaged_. You don't realize that means much to me? Let me spell it out for you. When a guy breaks up with his _unstable_ fiancee, he usually moves out of her house!"

"What!?" he roars. "Break up? Unstable? What the hell are you talking about!?"

By this time we're back at the ranch, so I jump out of the truck and slam my door.

"Beatrice Grace Eaton!" he yells at me as I march toward my house. "We need to talk about this!"

"_Talk_?" I ask him in disbelief. "You avoid me. You won't have sex with me. Then you start ranting about how I'm unstable and you can't do this anymore. I get it! There's nothing else to talk about!"

By this point I've reached the house, so I let myself in and slam the door. Eric lets himself in a minute later.

"Listen to me!" he yells, and I hear desperation in his voice. Apparently he won't be satisfied until he breaks me completely.

"Fine!" I yell back, dropping into a kitchen chair.

"I am _not_ breaking up with you," he says forcefully, and I scoff in reply. "You are _not_ unstable, and I never said you were," he insists. I scoff again, and roll my eyes.

"Tris, I love you so much," he says desperately, dropping to his knees beside my chair. "I'm upset because I nearly lost you, and when you were unconscious I had no rights. I'm upset because I want you so bad but I'm afraid of hurting you. I'm upset because fall is so far away. I'm upset because that tramp of a waitress had the audacity to hit on me and belittle you. It's exhausting, and _unstable_. I'm impatient. I want you to be mine, now! I want the whole town to know that I'm yours and you're mine.

"I know you didn't have a real wedding with Tobias. I want to give that to you. But I'm getting so tired of waiting. I've been trying not to say anything. I've been trying to hide my frustration, but I'm failing!"

I break into sobs and throw myself into Eric's arms. "I… I thought you didn't want me anymore!" I cry.

Eric sits himself on the floor and pulls me tightly to him. For a while I can do nothing but weep.

"Baby, I'm so sorry," Eric croons as I sob into his chest. "This was a horrible misunderstanding. I'm sorry I've been distant. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm not leaving, Love. Not now, not ever. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Tris!" We're interrupted by a loud yell and pounding boots on the back porch.

"Are you okay?" calls Uriah as he lets himself into my house.

Uri stops in his tracks at the sight of me bawling while Eric and I sit on the kitchen floor.

"What did you do to her?!" he yells at Eric. "Did you hurt her?"

I feel Eric nod against the top of my head, and Uriah's face flushes beet red with rage.

"I never...In all my days… What the hell, Coulter!" he stutter-shouts. "That's my sister! You're my friend! I thought… Damn it! You're father would be so disappointed in you right now!"

Uriah crosses the kitchen and grabs Eric's collar, pulling him away from me.

"Stop!" I half yell, half sob. "Uriah, stop it! It's not what you think! He didn't hit me. He didn't lay a hand on me!"

I scramble off the floor, and Uriah grabs me by the shoulders, examining me carefully.

"He didn't hit you?" he asks.

"No," I reply. "Uri, I promise. Eric would never do that. We had a misunderstanding. I thought he was breaking up with me. My feelings were hurt, Uri, nothing else."

My brother glares over my shoulder at Eric, who is now also standing up. Eric raises his hands as if in surrender.

"I would never hit her, Uriah, I promise," he says. "I would never hit any woman, and especially not the woman I love."

"Geez, you guys," says Uriah, wiping a hand across his brow. "I heard you yelling and slamming doors when I was in the barn, and then I could hear Tris sobbing from the porch."

He pulls me into his chest and I can feel his heart pounding from adrenaline. I return the hug, wrapping my arms around my brother.

"It's okay, Uri," I comfort him, my still-falling tears wetting his shirt. "I'm fine. Everything is fine. Eric didn't hurt me. Thank you for looking out for me. It's okay now."

He nods against my head and gives me one last squeeze before letting go.

"I'm sorry, man," Uriah says sheepishly to Eric.

"It's okay," Eric replies. "I would never hit her. I hope you know that. But I'm glad you're looking out for her."

"Are we good?" Uri asks.

"Yeah," replies Eric.

The two men shake hands, and Uriah excuses himself to go back to the barn.

As soon as Uriah is out the door, Eric turns to me. "How about us?" he asks, "Are we good?"

I nod. The whole dramatic exchange was exhausting, and I'm still shaken, but I know we'll be okay. I know Eric isn't leaving me.

"I'm going to go take a shower," I say tiredly.

"We still need to talk," Eric says cautiously.

The words hit me harder than they should. I feel my hands shaking and fresh tears well up in my eyes. Eric must notice, because he hurries to my side.

"Oh no," he says hurriedly. "Baby, come here. It really is okay, I promise."

I nod again, not trusting my voice. Eric lifts me effortlessly into his arms and carries me into the living room. He seats himself in his favorite recliner, and tucks me into his lap like a child.

"I love you so much," Eric says, running his hand over my long hair. "You make me so happy. But I'm scared, Tris. I've been scared since you got sick. There were things the hospital wouldn't tell me at first. They kept saying that they needed your next of kin, and I thought that meant you were dead. I told them you didn't have any family, but they were reluctant to believe that."

Eric sniffles, and I burrow in closer, hoping that he'll feel comforted by my warmth.

"I have nightmares," he confesses quietly. "I dream that you died, and they won't tell me. I just sit in that waiting room all night while doctors and nurses avoid me. I wake up feeling desperate, and spend the rest of the night just watching you sleep."

"Oh Eric," I say, saddened for him. I never really thought about his experience waiting at the hospital.

"I want to be married," he continues. "I want to know that I'm legally your family, and you're mine. I hate being in limbo like this. And while I'm ranting, I hate being on the payroll, too. Every time you cut me a paycheck it rubs me wrong. Don't get me wrong, I love you and I love what we have together, but it's just… I mean… Half my stuff is in storage. This is my home, but it's not. You are my family, but you're not. This is my job, and my life, and my veterinary practice, but it's not. I keep telling myself to be patient. We have forever together. In just a few months it will all be settled, and we'll really be partners. Dauntless will be _our_ home. The vet practice will be _our_ business. You'll be my wife, and I can tell annoying little waitresses to take a hike."

I chuckle. "You don't need to be married to do that," I remind him.

"True," he concedes. "I'm so sorry about this, Tris, all of it. I'm sorry I scared you and hurt you. I'm sorry I'm impatient and anxious. I've just been so frustrated ever since you got sick."

"I do have a question," I say. "I mean, if that's okay."

Eric nods, and I take a deep breath.

"There's something I don't understand about all this," I begin tentatively. "If you're so in love with me and so eager to start our life together, why do you, um.. Why won't you, you know… Why don't we have, um, sex?"

Eric chuckles, and I frown. "Baby, I'm sorry. It's not funny. It's just so cute how you're still so nervous to talk about sex. I'm scared," he confesses. "I'm afraid to push you. I'm afraid it'll be too much and you'll get sick again."

"Eric," I say in a low tone, trying to control my rising temper. "Don't do this."

"Do what?" he asks.

I take a deep breath. "If you're serious about marrying me, you have to be honest. Don't hide your feelings from me now. It will only make it worse later."

"Baby, you lost me again," he says.

This man infuriates me. I'm torn between either burying my face in his chest and weeping while I leech comfort from him, or running for the hills.

"You talk about not wanting to push me, but that's bull," I say through gritted teeth. "I have been trying for weeks to get your attention, but you avoid me and turn me down. Don't tell me that you're afraid of pushing me when I've practically been begging. If you don't want me, just say it."

"Oh, Honey," Eric laments. "How did we go from being so happy to being so stressed and doubting each other like this? We're arguing and questioning each other, but we want the same thing. Let me put this all out there. I miss you. I want you. But I am afraid of hurting you. I'm afraid I'll push you too hard and set back your recovery. I know you want it too. That makes it that much harder for me to resist you. I hate saying no to you. So I've been an ass and avoided you. Just because you want it doesn't mean your body is ready. And as much as I hate to say it, I don't trust you to know your limits or stick to them. When you went riding for the first time you ended up having a nasty coughing fit. It exhausted you. I sat and watched you sleep that afternoon because I thought I would have to rush you back to the hospital!"

By this point we're both crying again. I don't think I've cried this much since the week after Tobias died.

"I'm sorry," I choke out.

"Me too," says Eric. He places a tender kiss on my forehead and we sit in silence for a while, just holding one another.

.

xxxx

.

My internal clock wakes me up bright and early, like always. When I open my eyes, I realize that Eric and I are still in the living room recliner clinging to one another. I move cautiously, trying to take a peek at my watch without disturbing my sleeping fiance.

The slight movement reveals how stiff and sore I am from my awkward sleep position. I'm dehydrated, too. I feel hungover. An involuntary groan escapes my lips, causing Eric to stir.

"Tris?" he grumbles, his voice heavy with sleep.

"It's okay, Eric. You can go back to sleep. It's early yet."

He opens his eyes and looks around. "We fell asleep," he says tiredly.

I chuckle. "Yeah, we slept in the chair together. All night." I roll my neck, trying to stretch out the kinks.

"Are you sore?" he asks.

"Yeah," I admit. "I slept in an awkward position, I guess. It'll be fine."

"We could go upstairs," he suggests. "A hot shower, maybe a massage? That'll set you right."

"It's a start, anyway," I say, waggling my eyebrows like Zeke when he tells a dirty joke. "I can think of another way to work out the kinks, too."

Eric stands up abruptly, carrying me as I squeal, and hurries us upstairs to our bedroom.


	18. Chapter 18: Girls Weekend

**A/N: A day early... I'm going to be speeding up my schedule as I release these last few chapters. I have a new story that I started releasing this week, and we'll be traveling in a few weeks to take our son across the country for his first year of college. Thank you to everyone who has been following along on this adventure. Your reviews, follows, and favorites make my day!**

**XOXO,**

**Libby**

.

"I don't want to go."

"Well, Mrs. Eaton, you should have thought of that before you booked this luxurious girls' weekend."

I narrow my eyes at my fiance and continue packing.

"You'll have fun," Eric assures me.

"I know," I say, sounding a bit whiny even to my own ears. "It's just that after our fight, I don't want to leave you."

"Are you having too much fun making up with me?" he teases.

I blush, and swat at Eric's backside. After our near catastrophic meltdown two weeks ago, things have gotten better between us. We cautiously made love that morning, and I didn't shatter like glass or break down in another coughing fit. Eric finally realized that I am recovering, and we've been enjoying the return of our physical relationship ever since.

I've encouraged him to more fully move in to my house, too. We talked about doing some painting, bringing in some furniture and things from Eric's dad's house, and buying some new things as well. For example, Eric hates my bath towels. He thinks they're too small, and they're pretty thin. It's such a small change, but it would make him more comfortable. I want this to be _our_ home, not my house where Eric lives with me.

Making plans for the house has also been a way to start looking forward and talking about the future again. One evening last week, Eric and I walked from room to room, discussing what we liked about each space, and what we might change in the future. For the first time, I showed him the empty room across the hall from the master bedroom. Tobias and I painted it a sunny yellow when we decided to pursue adoption, but it has never been occupied. Even when Bella was a baby, we didn't use that room. Her toys and the portable crib we used when she visited are in the third bedroom, closer to the top of the stairs.

When I opened the door to show Eric the room, my heart raced. He took one look at my shaking hands, and at the empty room with its pale yellow walls and bare wood floor, and he knew.

"This is where you planned to put the baby you were going to adopt," he said.

He didn't ask, he stated it like a fact. He knew. He understood.

"We thought a pale yellow would work for either a boy or a girl," I said softly.

"It will," he said confidently, sliding his arms around me from behind. "Someday we will bring our baby home, and he or she will sleep here. I see a rocking chair in that corner." He pointed to the corner near the window. "I think the crib along that wall." He pointed to the wall opposite us. "Do you imagine a white crib, or wood tone?"

"White, I think," I replied, my voice just a whisper.

Eric rocked us gently back and forth.

"This baby hasn't even been conceived yet, but he or she has been loved, wanted, and planned for many years," he crooned in my ear.

"You don't want to repaint it?" I ask.

"No," he replied softly. "I like the yellow, and it's clean since it hasn't been used. Besides, I kind of like the idea of you and Tobias painting this room together. It feels full-circle somehow."

"Thank you," I whispered.

.

"Tris?"

I snap out of my reverie and smile at Eric.

"Marlene is here," he tells me. "And Shauna gets off work in a few minutes. It's time to go."

I throw myself into Eric's arms. He holds me for a moment, then steps back to look me in the eyes.

"Call me when you get there," he says seriously.

"I will," I promise.

"Be careful," he says.

"You too," I say.

We walk downstairs. Marlene is practically bouncing with eagerness. Her joy is contagious, and I feel my smile widen.

"Let's go!" she squeals.

I give Eric one more kiss, and we climb in my truck to begin our girls' weekend adventure.

.

xxxx

.

"Let's play 'never have I ever!'" yells Marlene.

"Yes!" yells Shauna from the back seat. "I'll go first. Never have I ever gotten a tattoo."

"Me neither," I say, "but I want one."

"Ooh, we should totally get you inked this weekend!" says Marlene.

"Are you avoiding the question?" Shauna asks her knowingly.

"Okay, fine. I have a tattoo," admits Marlene.

"What!" I exclaim. "How do I not know this!?"

"Because it's on her ass!" says Shauna.

"What is it?" I ask.

"A butterfly," says Marlene.

"On your ass?" I question.

"I got it on a dare," she says, "in college."

"You can't drink in the car," says Shauna, "and I can't drink at all. I think you should drink water when you did something. First empty bottle or full bladder loses."

We agree, and Shauna hands us each a water bottle. Marlene cracks hers open and takes her first drink.

"I'll go next," I say. "Never have I ever left the country."

Marlene drinks. Her parents are comfortably upper middle class, and they took her on some cool vacations when she was younger.

Marlene says that she has never had sex outdoors, and Shauna and I both drink.

"Tris!" Marlene squeals, "Eric is turning you into a dirty girl!"

I blush and refuse to give them details. Shauna is less reserved, and tells us all about an adventure she and Zeke had while golfing.

"TMI!" I yell, and we all laugh.

Shauna says that she's never lived with a guy before marrying him, and Mar and I both drink. I say that I've never been pregnant to get her back, and Mar and I high five as Shauna drinks.

The miles fly by as we laugh, tell stories, and drink our water. Naturally, our unborn niece costs Shauna the win, and we stop for her to take a bathroom break.

When we arrive in the city, we go right to the hotel and check in. I booked us a suite, and it is easily the biggest hotel room I've ever seen. It has a small kitchen, two bedrooms, and a huge living area with a big screen television, couches, and a dining table. Both of the bedrooms have en suite bathrooms. One bedroom is obviously the master, with a huge king-sized bed. The other bedroom has two queen beds, and we quickly decide that all three of us will bunk in there, slumber party style.

As I promised, I call Eric to let him know we've arrived safely.

"Hello, Beautiful," he says as he answers his phone.

"Is it Trissy?" I hear Uriah in the background.

"Hi Trissy-poo!"

"Is that Zeke?" I ask Eric. "And is he drunk?"

"Pretty much," says Eric, and I can tell he's had a few as well.

"It's only eight o'clock," I say. "And where is Bella?"

"At Grandma's for the night," says Eric. "Hanna thought we should have a boys' night while you're off on your girls' weekend."

"That sounds good," I tell him. "Don't do anything stupid, okay? Remember, any idea had by a drunk Pedrad is a bad idea. Got it?"

Eric giggles. _Giggles…_

"You're cute," he says. I hear Zeke and Uri making kissy noises in the background.

"I love you, Eric."

"Love you too, Baby," he says.

Shauna and Marlene walk into the room a minute later. Shauna looks concerned.

"I can't get Zeke on the phone," she says.

"Maybe he's at Hanna's," Marlene suggests.

"He's at my house," I say, "and drunk off his ass."

"What about Bella?!" She screeches.

"Hanna has her for the night," I say. "Apparently boys' night was her idea."

Shauna sighs in relief and leaves to call her mother-in-law.

.

xxxx

.

The first night, we get dressed up and have a late dinner at a nice restaurant near the hotel. Marlene and I limit ourselves to just one glass of wine since Shauna can't drink. She says she doesn't mind if we have drinks, but we assure her that it will be more fun if we stay at roughly the same level of sobriety.

During dinner we start getting text messages from our crazy men. Apparently they're really letting loose tonight. Zeke sends Shauna a picture of Uri drawing on Eric's arm with a marker.

"I hope they don't get marker on my furniture," I say to the girls as we laugh.

"I'd worry more about the fact that your fiance is getting covered in graffiti," says Shauna.

"You've seen Eric, right?" I ask her. "He's already covered in ink. What's a little more?"

"I'd be more worried that Uri will draw something obscene," says Marlene.

She does have a point.

The next text comes to my phone. It's from Eric, and it's a low quality video of drunk Uriah making snow angels in my poorly lit yard. We laugh and take a group selfie to send to our men.

Zeke replies to all three of us that we look "hotttt." Marlene gets a text from Uri that makes her blush, but she doesn't share it with Shauna and I. Eric replies to me. "Baby, you look gorgeous. Send me a picture of just you."

I reply, "And what will you do with a picture of just me?"

His reply comes quickly. "That depends. If you're clothed in the picture, maybe I'll make it my lock screen. If you're unclothed, I'll kick out the guys and go to bed imagining you here with me."

I squirm in my seat and take a sip of my wine. If we keep up this teasing, it's going to be a long three days. I snap a stupid duck face selfie and send it to Eric with the message "I'm gone for three more days. Let's work our way up to nudes."

Eric quickly replies with the silly heart eyes emoji, and a minute later with a group selfie of our three men making the same stupid duck face. We roll with laughter and order a big slice of chocolate cake to share.

"This is good," Shauna says about the cake, " but it's not Dauntless cake."

"No cake is Dauntless cake," says Marlene.

My phone pings again, and I open it to find a picture of Uriah and Zeke, their faces covered in chocolate, attacking a whole Dauntless cake with forks. I have Marlene and Shauna pose with our piece of cake and send it to Eric with the reply "Seriously? We were literally just talking about Dauntless cake. I'm surprised you're sharing the cake I left you."

"We should have just brought them along," says Shauna. "We're pretty much having the same conversation anyway!"

"No way!" says Marlene. "I love those guys, but I have serious shopping to do tomorrow, and you know what they say: shopping with your husband is like hunting with the game warden!"

We all laugh at her joke. I love how close we all are and that we can equally enjoy a full-family holiday, couples night, or girls' weekend with each other.

I raise my glass and propose a toast. "To our family," I say. "And to Hanna, who makes it all possible. God bless that woman for raising those boys without losing her mind, for taking in the rest of us, and for watching Bella so we could all have some fun."

"To Hanna!" the girls say, and we all take a sip of our drinks.

.

xxxx

.

The next morning we're at the outlet mall as soon as it opens. I want to find some new towels to show Eric that I'm serious about making him comfortable in our home. I also want to buy a bunch of matching picture frames so I can create a gallery wall above the sideboard in our dining room. I thought that would be the perfect place to celebrate family. I tell the girls my idea, and they immediately drag me into a home store.

"Okay," says Marlene, clearly ready to run with the idea. "Tell me what you imagine."

"You know that long wall in my dining room? Where the sideboard is?" The girls nod. "I want to do a big gallery wall of family photos. I imagine different sizes, but all the same frames. I want to put the biggest frame right in the center, and save that for our wedding photo. Then around it I want a whole bunch of frames with pictures of me with my parents, Eric's family, Tobias and I on our wedding day, and our Pedrad family. What do you think?"

"I love it," says Shauna, tearing up thanks to the pregnancy hormones.

"Me too," says Marlene. "That's a big wall, though. We'll need to find some decorative things to fit between the frames, too."

She pulls up some internet images on her phone, and I agree with her idea. We buy a big set of picture frames in assorted sizes. It's the same wood tone as my big dining room table, so it will mix in well. We also buy a big key, a wooden arrow, and a couple small mirrors framed in a soft white. Those will match the wainscoting in my dining room and break up the wood tone. I find a wide rustic sign that says "gather." It's sage green with soft white letters. I love how fitting the word is for a dining room and for the assembly of family portraits. We all love the color, and the girls help me find a few more decorative accents that bring in the sage color.

I pick out new bath towels at the same store, and my cart is overflowing in no time. On the way to the checkout, I see a display of wall-mounted alphabet letters. I love that idea, so I add a letter C to the cart.

"I take it you're changing your name?" asks Marlene, pointing at the C.

"Should I hyphenate?" I tease. "Beatrice Grace Prior-Eaton-Coulter. It's kind of a mouthful."

"If you're going that route, don't forget to add Pedrad," says Shauna. "After all, you're one of us. The boys do call you their sister."

"Beatrice Grace Prior-Eaton-Pedrad-Coulter," I laugh. "It has a certain ring to it. Maybe Eric will change his name too. Then he can answer the phone 'Dr. Prior-Eaton-Pedrad-Coulter's office.'"

"People would hang up before he got the whole name out," giggles Marlene. "It sounds like a law firm."

We laugh, and I pull out my phone to text Eric. "I'm thinking about hyphenating when we get married. How would you feel about that?"

The girls and I carry my big purchase out to the truck before we shop on. While we're having lunch at the food court I get a reply from Eric.

"Hungover. Covered in marker. Missing you. Hyphenating is fine with me. Tris Eaton-Coulter?"

"Beatrice Grace Prior-Eaton-Pedrad-Coulter," I reply.

Three dots appear on my phone screen and I wait for his response.

"I don't think that will fit on your driver's license," it says.

I laugh and show the girls. A minute later I get another text from Eric.

"Are you really thinking of hyphenating?" it says.

"I don't know," I reply. I wasn't planning on it, but I have to admit that I like the idea of being Tris Eaton-Coulter. I guess I'll have to think about that one. Dr. Eric Coulter and Mrs. Tris Eaton-Coulter. Dr. and Mrs. Eaton-Coulter. No, it would be weird for Eric to take Tobias' name.

"Earth to Tris," Marlene interrupts my daydreaming.

"Sorry," I mumble.

"What were you thinking about?" asks Shauna.

"Hyphenating," I admit. "I never really thought about it before, but I kind of like the idea of keeping both last names. I just don't like the idea of not matching Eric, and asking him to take Tobias' name is just weird."

"Do what I did," says Marlene, popping a french fry in her mouth. "I took my maiden name as a second middle name. That way we're Mr. and Mrs. Pedrad, but I'm Marlene Renae Stillman Pedrad."

"Not me," says Shauna. "I was glad to change my name. I mean, after my dad left us and Mom remarried, I already changed my name from Johnson to Rodriguez. I wasn't exactly tied to being a Rodriguez, and I had no interest in going back to Johnson. I was happy to change my name to Shauna Joy Pedrad."

We finish our lunch and continue our shopping. We find some cute things for Zeke and Shauna's baby. Just two more months and my second niece will be here! Marlene tries to talk me into shopping for a wedding dress, but all the shopping is wearing me out, so I don't want to start all that today. Besides, I'm leaning toward something simple.

I know Eric wants to give me a dream wedding, but my version of that is different from most girls. I'd be thrilled with a little wedding on the ranch, with Zeke and Uri standing up with Eric while Shauna and Marlene stand with me. Bella can be the flower girl, and Hanna can walk me down the aisle. I'd like to wear a simple dress, maybe dusty purple or sage green, and carry a bunch of daisies or sunflowers. I'll make Dauntless cake, and we can barbecue after the ceremony with just our closest friends in attendance. The thought makes me sigh.

"Something bothering you?" asks Shauna, bumping me with her hip.

"No," I say. "I was actually thinking about the wedding. Happy sigh."

She smiles at me, and the three of us head out of the mall to the parking lot, arm-in-arm.

.

xxxx

.

Shopping exhausted me, though I don't want to admit it and ruin our fun. Thankfully, Shauna is also worn out from the long day on her feet. We agree on an evening of pizza and movies in our hotel suite.

After the first chick flick, I've had enough. I head into the unused master bedroom for some privacy, and call Eric on the landline.

"Dauntless, this is Eric," he says.

"Hi, Baby," I greet him.

"Tris!" he answers brightly. He must be feeling better this evening. "Are you having fun?"

"I am," I assure him. We chat about dinner last night, shopping today, and how things are going on the ranch without me. We talk about little things and how much we miss each other. When we finally hang up, I take a minute to gather my thoughts before I join the girls.

.

xxxx

.

"Tris, wake up."

"No," I grumble. I don't want to. I'm so tired.

"Tris, come on! We have to be at the spa in a half hour!"

The fog lifts, and I realize that I'm in the master bedroom of our hotel suite. I pry open one eye and see Shauna and Marlene grinning at me from the doorway.

"Why am I in here?" I croak.

"You went to call Eric last night, and we found you asleep in here when the movie ended. So we covered you up and let you be," says Marlene with a shrug.

"Thanks," I say as I sit up.

The girls walk out, and I head for the attached bathroom. Seconds later I'm face down in the toilet, throwing up last night's pizza. Oh no. I can't be sick. Not on girls' weekend. Not on spa day!

When my stomach is empty, I feel better. I can salvage this. I should just sip on water and maybe eat some toast or crackers. No breakfast. I'll be fine. I take a fast shower, brush my teeth, and get dressed for the day.

.

xxxx

.

Fortunately, the sickness doesn't return, and the girls are none the wiser. Spa day is amazing. I get a much-needed pedicure, a haircut, facial, massage, and a weird seaweed body wrap. In the middle of it, we have a light lunch together in our spa robes. It is a unique experience, but totally indulgent and wonderful. The spa day ends with professional makeup application and hair styling, then the girls and I head back up to our suite to dress for dinner.

I made reservations for a fancy dinner for tonight. It's our last night in town, and we've shopped until we dropped and been primped and pampered to our hearts' content. We've talked, and laughed, and had an all around wonderful weekend.

"I'm so glad we did this," I tell the girls at dinner. "But I'm excited to get home, too."

"I know what you mean," says Shauna. "I feel so pampered, but I miss Zeke and Bella."

Marlene nods in agreement.

We enjoy a long dinner, talking and laughing. Shauna tells us, in confidence, that she and Zeke have picked out a name for the baby - Sadie Hanna Pedrad. We ooh and aah appropriately, and she makes us swear that we won't tell Zeke that she told us.

Marlene says that while we're telling secrets, she has a confession too. She and Uriah are going to start trying for a baby this spring. She assures me that they have no desire to leave Dauntless, and I make a mental note to start planning a remodel of their bunkhouse building sooner than later. It's currently two one-thousand square foot apartments, but it could easily be converted to a two-thousand square foot single-family home.

I decide to join in the secret telling, and share with the girls how Eric and I have struggled since I was sick. They seem worried at first until I tell them how we made up and feel stronger than ever. They even offer some practical advice on how I can have Eric named my power of attorney to grant him legal rights, and things I could do to help him feel at home in my farmhouse.

"If you're both so anxious, why are you waiting until fall to get married?" Shauna asks.

I give her the standard line about how busy we are during the spring and summer, and how we need time to plan a wedding. "He wants to give me a real wedding," I conclude. "Tobias and I pretty much eloped, so Eric wants me to have the full bridal experience."

"Hold up," says Marlene, throwing her hands in the air. "You want to get married at the ranch, so the venue is set any time you want it. You won't let me take you wedding dress shopping because you would rather have a simple colored dress. You're not a big 'formal dinner for three hundred people' type of person. As far as I can tell, your only actual hurdles are waiting for the snow to melt, and waiting for Shauna to pop out this baby. Am I right?"

I nod. She knows me well. "Then why not May?" Marlene asks. "Besides, if Uri and I get pregnant right away I don't want to be all big and fat at your wedding!"

"Are you calling me fat?" Shauna asks, feigning offence.

"No way!" says Marlene. "You're beautiful, and I'm sure I will be, too. It's just hard to do dress fittings on a pregnant bridesmaid."

"Who said you could be a bridesmaid?" I tease her. "I'm only kidding, of course I want the two of you to be my bridesmaids. I'm assuming Eric will ask Uri and Zeke, and of course I want Bella to be the flower girl."

We end the night talking about wedding plans, and I feel a lot better after sharing everything with Shauna and Marlene.

.

xxxx

.

On Monday morning I'm up bright and early, face down in the toilet again.

"Tris!" Marlene exclaims as she rushes in and pulls my hair away from my face.

When my stomach is empty, I brush my teeth and face the girls.

"It happened yesterday, too," I say sheepishly. "I think I might have overdone it this weekend. I'm exhausted."

"Should I call Eric?" Marlene asks.

"No!" I exclaim. "He'll freak out. I'll talk to him when I get home."

"Why don't you call the doctor," Shauna suggests. "We're in town. Maybe she can get you in and give you a checkup. That way you'll know without having to make another trip."

That's a good idea. I call Dr. Matthews' office, and fortunately she had a cancellation this morning and can see me at 10 am. The girls and I pack up and head to the clinic.

.

xxxx

.

"Did you finish all the antibiotic I sent home with you?" asks Dr. Matthews.

It's her one millionth question since I arrived at her office. "Yes," I reply tiredly.

"When did you take the last dose?" she asks.

"Last week," I tell her.

She nods. "Have you resumed sexual activity?" she quizzes me.

"Yes," I say, blushing.

"And what method of birth control are you using?" she asks.

Birth control? What does that have to do with my pneumonia recovery and setback?

"I'm on the pill," I tell her.

"I see." she nods and digs in a cupboard, pulling out a plastic cup and attaching a label to it. "I'm going to need a urine sample," she says. "Take this in there and when you're finished, put it in the little cupboard by the sink. It opens from the other side into the lab, and they'll collect the sample. When you're finished, you can go back to the waiting room with your friends until I call you."

I do as she says, then join Shauna and Marlene in the waiting room.

"What did she say?" asks Marlene, nervously.

"We're waiting on lab results," I tell them.

"Did she give you any clues?" Shauna asks.

"No," I answer, "though she asked me about birth control. She doesn't think I'm pregnant, does she? I can't be. I mean, I'm on the pill."

Shauna smiles at me knowingly. "Tris, you were on antibiotics," she reminds me.

"So?" I ask.

Marlene gasps. "Did you use a backup method?" she asks.

"No," I say, "why?"

Shauna and Marlene look at each other. "Antibiotics make the pill ineffective," Shauna says gently.

Could I be pregnant?


	19. Chapter 19: Seed

"Mrs. Eaton?" the receptionist interrupts. "Dr. Matthews is ready for you."

"Come with me," I beg Shauna and Marlene.

They walk with me back to the exam room. Dr. Matthews enters a moment later.

"As I suspected," she says with no preamble, "you're pregnant."

Marlene gives a little squeal, and Shauna puts her arms around me.

"I'd like to do a transvaginal ultrasound to see how far along you are and if everything is progressing normally."

I nod, still in shock. _Pregnant?_ Eric and I want kids, we were just waiting to get married before we started trying. Apparently that's out the window, because there's a baby coming, wedding or not.

"Marlene, can you call my lawyer?" I ask. Marlene looks confused, but nods. "See if he can recommend someone here or in Amity who can see us today to draft the power of attorney."

She nods and hurries out of the room.

Dr. Matthews and her assistant return with medical equipment. They suggest that Shauna should leave, but I let them know that I want her to stay with me. I undress from the waist down and lay on the exam table as directed. I put my feet in the stirrups, and Dr. Matthews inserts the probe.

The ultrasound machine shows grey static, but Dr. Matthews sees more than I do.

"See that?" she says, pointing to a black hole in the grey static. "The baby is right about the size of an apple seed right now. You're four or five weeks along, and everything looks good."

I exhale. "When am I due?" I ask.

Dr. Matthews consults a paper. "The end of October," she says. "Based on your last period, I'm guessing around the 28th, but we'll be more accurate when you get a little further along."

As I get dressed, she gives me instructions on prenatal vitamins, and all the do's and don'ts of pregnancy. I'm quickly overwhelmed by all the information, but Shauna comforts me.

"Old news," she says, placing my hand on her swollen belly. "I'll help you remember what to do."

I smile as my unborn niece moves under my hand. It's comforting. Women have had babies since the dawn of time, and Shauna and Hanna will be with me through this. I put my other hand on my still-flat stomach and smile at Shauna.

"Cousins," she says quietly, and we both giggle.

"How do I tell Eric?"

"Are you worried about his reaction?" she asks.

"Not really," I say. "We've talked about kids, and starting a family as soon as we're married. I know he'll be happy. It's just a shock."

"There goes your fall wedding," she says. We laugh again.

"May is looking better all the time," I say.

We walk out to the waiting room and I pull Marlene into a hug. She tells me that my attorney couldn't suggest someone local to do the paperwork today. Because of President's Day, most of their offices are closed. But he did offer to work up the papers himself, and we can stop by his home to sign them and pick them up this afternoon.

On the way home, we brainstorm ways that I can tell Eric about the baby. At lunch I have an apple with my soup and salad, and the seeds give me an idea.

.

xxxx

.

Hershey and Cocoa, as always, are the first to welcome Marlene and I back to Dauntless. Their barks alert Eric and Uriah, who hurry out to greet us. Eric pulls me into his arms and twirls me around in a circle.

"You didn't change your mind while you were gone, did you?" he asks.

"Actually, I changed my mind about a few things," I say, "but not about marrying you. We have a lot to talk about."

Eric looks worried, so I give him a big kiss and reassure him. "Good things," I say.

We say goodbye to Uri and Marlene, and carry my things into the house. I lead Eric straight to the living room and push him into his favorite chair.

"I have some things for you," I tell him, handing him the bag of new bath towels.

"These are nice," he says, obviously a little confused.

"When I left on Friday, I was thinking a lot about how to make you feel more at home here," I tell him. "I want this to be _our_ home, like we talked about. So I bought new towels because I know you don't like my old ones."

"Thank you," he says simply. He pulls me onto his lap, and I make myself comfortable and continue talking.

"The girls and I did a lot of talking about my dream wedding," I continue. "The more we talked, the more I kept coming back to the idea of simplicity, and family. If it's okay with you, I want to have a small wedding here at the ranch. I don't want a princess dress or a formal dinner. I just want a simple dress, some daisies or sunflowers, and a barbecue with our close friends and family."

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Yes," I assure him. "I put a lot of thought into a dream wedding, and what that means to me. And this is my dream. It fits who we are and how we live. Is it enough for you?"

"If you're the one walking down the aisle, then it's my dream come true," he says.

He tries to pull me in for a kiss, but I resist.

"There's more," I tell him, needing to finish before I get distracted by his kisses and the desire they ignite. "I talked to the girls about our unique issue with neither of us having any blood relatives, and how that made it challenging when I was unconscious in the hospital. They suggested that we get a lawyer to write up a limited power of attorney. It basically names you as my decision maker should I become incapacitated."

"That's a great idea," Eric says with a sigh. "You have no idea how hard that was for me."

"I called Donald, my lawyer, and he drafted the papers." I hand Eric the stack of legal documents. "The first set names you as my next of kin. The second set makes me yours, in case something should happen to you. I just thought that way we'd both be covered. If you want this, all we have to do is go to the bank and sign them with the notary."

Eric strokes my cheek gently, and I see that he looks more relaxed, like the idea actually brings him comfort.

"That will help should anything happen between now and fall. It makes me feel a lot better."

"About that," I begin. "I don't want to wait until fall. For a few reasons. First, with a simple wedding here on the ranch, we don't need that much time to prepare. We just need the weather to improve and for Shauna to have the baby. Second, and this is a big secret, Uri and Marlene want to start trying for a baby, too. Since I want her for a bridesmaid, it would be easier to do it before she gets big."

"You shouldn't change your wedding plans because Marlene might be pregnant," Eric says.

"I know," I say. "It's really just a bonus."

I reach into my pocket and pull out the apple seed from my lunch. I place it in Eric's large hand. "Hold this," I tell him.

He looks at me like I've lost my mind as I fold his fingers around the tiny seed.

I take a deep breath. "So yesterday, that's what I was thinking. That's what I wanted. A small, May wedding here on the ranch. Those were my reasons. Then this morning I started throwing up."

Eric looks alarmed, and he reaches for my shoulders, pushing me back so he can examine me carefully. I grab his hand, holding it closed around the apple seed.

"I actually threw up yesterday, too," I confess, "but I didn't tell the girls. I didn't want to ruin the fun."

"Tris," Eric says in a warning tone.

I wave him off. "When I threw up this morning, Shauna suggested that I call Dr. Matthews before we leave town."

"And?" he asks. I can hear the fear in his voice.

"And she got me in right away this morning." I pry open Eric's fingers, which I had been squeezing around the apple seed. "It turns out we planted a seed."

Eric looks at the apple seed in his palm, then at me, then back at his hand. I pluck the little seed from his hand and hold it up between us.

"There's a little tiny being, the size of this apple seed, planted right here." I say, placing his hand on my flat stomach. "I'm pregnant, Eric."

His mouth falls open, and he stares at me for a minute. I hold my breath waiting for his reaction.

"For real?" He asks quietly.

"For real," I confirm.

"But how… The pill… I … You… Are you sure?"

"It turns out that antibiotics kind of make the pill not work," I tell him.

"When? Um… When are you due?" he asks.

"The end of October," I say.

"Holy shit," Eric breathes.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"Are you?" he asks, examining me carefully.

"I'm a little worried about your lack of a reaction," I confess, "but other than that I'm good. Dr. Matthew's said everything looks perfectly normal and healthy."

"We're going to have a baby," he says quietly, and I nod in confirmation.

Suddenly Eric leaps to his feet, carrying me with him.

"We're going to have a baby!" he yells.

He spins us around in a circle, then suddenly stops and kisses me passionately. We both have tears streaming down our cheeks, and I can't quit laughing.

Eric sets me gently on my feet and drops to his knees, his hands on my hips and his face leaned into my belly. "Hello, Little Seed," he says. "I'm your daddy. I already love you so much, and I'm going to take care of you…"

His voice trails off as he begins sobbing against my tummy. I wrap one arm around his shoulders and run my other hand through his hair. I'm worried about what he must be thinking, but I decide to just comfort him as best I can until he's ready to talk.

"This is overwhelming," he says between sobs.

"I know," I soothe, stroking his back.

"Don't be offended, Little Seed," he says to my belly. "I'm so happy you're coming. I was just thinking about my own daddy. I wish he could meet you. He would have been an amazing grandpa for you. It will be nice to have a relative again. I know that's silly because I have Mommy and we've been adopted into a family that loves us, but sometimes I still struggle with being the last Coulter. It's strangely comforting that there will be two of us."

"You know," I interrupt, "I'd like to be a Coulter too."

"Not a Prior-Eaton-Pedrad-Coulter or whatever?" he teases.

"Won't fit on Seed's birth certificate," I shrug.

"It really won't bother me if you want to hyphenate," he says, standing to his feet.

"I like the idea of being Tris Eaton-Coulter," I say, "but I don't like that I won't match with you and Seed, and there's no reason for either of you to take Tobias' name. Marlene suggested that I make Eaton a second middle name so I can keep it. I'm still considering my options."

"So," Eric says, ducking his head and rubbing his neck the way he does when he's nervous, "I guess a fall wedding really is out."

"That was Shauna's first reaction," I laugh. "She said May looks better all the time."

"I can't believe we're having a shotgun wedding," Eric laments, wiping his hands down his face. "I feel like an ass. I wanted to give you the wedding you didn't have, not another quickie."

"That's why I told you about my May idea first," I tell him. "I was thinking about that before I knew about the baby. Seed just confirmed what I already wanted. I want a small spring wedding at home. You want to be married soon. We want to have kids. We're getting it all. There's no reason to feel bad just because it's not quite in the order we planned. We're a family already. We're building our future. It's good."

"What can we do to make this happen?" Eric asks, getting excited.

"Let's look at the calendar," I suggest. "I'd like to get married on a Sunday afternoon. What do you think?"

"Works for me," says Eric, kissing me on the forehead.

"How about the 19th?" I ask.

"May 19," he says. "That sounds perfect."


	20. Chapter 20: Prior-Eaton-Pedrad-Coulter

**The calendar says August, but it's cool and rainy here today. Just had to share some sunny wedding day with my readers :)**

**XOXO,**  
**Libby**

.

May 19th _is_ perfect.

The weather is comfortable, with a daytime high of 70 degrees. It's early enough in the summer that bugs aren't going to be a bother. Thankfully there is no rain in the forecast.

Life at the ranch is busy. We've created a plan to expand Uri and Marlene's bunkhouse, but haven't started the project yet. Shauna's brother, Hector, has been working here on weekends. He graduates from high school next week, and will be living and working here for the summer. Most of the mares, including Uriah's horse, have had their foals, and all have been healthy.

Shauna and Zeke had a healthy baby, too. Sadie is six weeks old now, and she's beautiful. She has a full head of dark hair, and bright eyes that follow her big sister whenever Bella is in the room.

The admiration is not yet mutual. Bella is not crazy about being a sister. After being the only kid in her whole family, she's having trouble sharing her grownups' attention. There have been more than a few meltdowns and tantrums by the nearly four-year-old. With so many aunts and uncles living at Dauntless, Bella spent quite a bit of time with us when Sadie was first born. It helped her parents settle in with the new baby, and kept Bella occupied.

It works out well for me to have her here, because Eric doesn't let me do much around the ranch anymore. I can go for leisurely rides on Lightning and work in the garden and around the house, but Eric works himself ragged to keep me from doing more than that. His caring and protecting nature has gone through the roof since he found out that I'm pregnant.

I'm at the tail end of my first trimester now, and things are going well. The OB/GYN at Amity says that everything is healthy and on track. My due date is October 26. My morning sickness has mostly passed. I'm not showing yet, but my stomach feels hard, and my breasts and hips are definitely expanding. At my next appointment, two weeks from now, we'll be able to find out if our little seed is a boy or girl. I hope we're having a boy that looks just like Eric to carry on the Coulter name.

There's a soft tap on my bedroom door, and Hanna pokes her head in.

"Sweetheart," she says, "your dress is getting wrinkled."

I look down at Bella, who is sleeping in my arms. "She's worth it," I tell the little girl's grandma. "Besides, she makes me feel calm and relaxed."

"I think you two needed each other today," Hanna says as she walks up to us and begins stroking Bella's hair. "How long has she been asleep?"

"Nearly an hour," I answer.

"We need to finish getting you ready," Hanna coaxes.

I lay Bella in the center of my bed, and follow Hanna downstairs. There are people rushing about everywhere, and I wish that I had stayed in my bedroom with my sleeping niece. Hanna directs me into my home office, where Shauna, Marlene, baby Sadie, and my college friends Christina and Lynn have taken up residence for the afternoon.

I let the girls fuss over my hair and makeup as they prep me for my wedding. I'm wearing a knee-length sage green dress with a simple A-line shape. Shauna and Marlene, my bridesmaids, are wearing lavender dresses. Bella's flower girl dress is sage green with purple flowers, and we even found a tiny matching dress for Sadie.

Eric, Uriah, and Zeke will be dressed in grey pants and vests, white roll-sleeve dress shirts, and bowties. The Pedrad brothers have lavender ties to match their wives' dresses. Eric's tie is green, like my dress. I can't wait to see my handsome groom waiting for me, and to be fully joined as husband and wife.

After much soul searching, I decided to hyphenate my last name. When it came down to it, I just wasn't ready to cut off the past so completely. Eric has been great about everything. He understands that he doesn't have to compete with Tobias for my affection. My first husband is not like an ex who threatens our happiness. But he's an important part of who I am. I loved Tobias. I still do. We started building this life together, but it got interrupted. Now Eric and I are moving forward together, but still honoring the place Tobias had in my heart.

.

xxxx

.

All too soon, yet not soon enough, it's time for the wedding to start. Shauna hands her sleeping newborn to her brother, and Hector and Sadie take their seats on the white folding chairs that have been setup in my yard for the occasion. Christina, Will, Lynn, and a number of other friends and neighbors are also out there. I can see them from my kitchen window.

I watch out the window as Eric and the minister step up in front of the assembled guests. At that cue, the minister's younger brother begins playing his guitar, and Matthew, waiting on the back porch with Zeke, Uriah, and Bella, opens the door. Shauna steps out first, and takes her husband's arm. She is carrying an armful of wildflowers, and looks beautiful in her soft purple dress. She and Zeke lean in and share a soft smile and chaste kiss as the photographer snaps their picture before he leads her down the porch steps and down the aisle toward Eric and the minister.

When Zeke and Shauna arrive at their spots, the door opens again, and Marlene steps out to join her husband. Marlene confided in me just this morning that she is pregnant, and she is positively glowing. As she takes her husband's arm, she leans in to whisper something in his ear. Uri stops dead in his tracks, nearly falling down the porch steps, and Marlene giggles. Sweet, silly Uriah is dumbstruck, and I can see that his eyes are filling with tears.

Beside me, Hanna looks confused as she watches the photographer snap a series of pictures of her son and daughter-in-law holding up the wedding procession. I smile at her reassuringly and say, "Congratulations, Grandma."

Hanna's mouth drops open. "Are they… Really?" Her mouth turns into a face-splitting grin, and her own eyes fill with tears.

"She just found out," I tell Hanna. "The baby is due at the end of November or early December. Marlene told me this morning."

"This is a wonderful day!" she declares, giving me an enthusiastic side hug.

When Uri and Marlene reluctantly part ways at the end of the aisle, Matthew informs Bella that it's her turn. Her face lights up, and the little girl leaps off the porch steps, which I hope the photographer captured! Just as we practiced, Bella walks down the aisle toward her parents, dropping flower petals along the way.

When she sees Hector and Sadie, Bella stops, waves, and loudly yells, "Hi, Uncle Hec!" before continuing down the aisle. Hanna and I laugh at the precocious preschooler, who completes her flower girl duties by standing nicely by her mom and Auntie Mar.

The music changes, and Matthew opens the door again. This is it. I take a deep breath to prepare myself for all the attention to be focused on me. Hanna and I step out onto the porch, and I give Matthew a quick hug and thank him for helping. We stop at the top of the stairs so the photographer can snap a picture of Hanna and I together. She turns to me before we move on.

"Tris, my daughter," she says, and we both choke up. "I never knew your parents, but I know they loved you, and I know they would be so proud of you and Eric. You are a beautiful bride, and I'm honored to walk you down the aisle today."

"Thank you," I whisper. I take a deep breath and steady my voice. "You have no idea how much it means to Eric and I to have a family. We love being honorary Pedrads."

"Nothing honorary about it," Hanna says, patting my arm. "You're family. Because I said so."

We giggle, and I hear the photographer click his shutter again.

"Now, let's get you down the aisle. I imagine Eric is eager for you to join him."

I nod and turn to face my groom. My future. The father of my unborn baby and future children. My partner in life and in business. My Eric.

When we arrive at the end of the aisle, the minister welcomes our guests, and makes a brief prayer. Then he asks the traditional question, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"

Hanna smiles broadly before answering. "On behalf of the parents and husband that she lost, and on behalf of our family, which has adopted them as our own..." she pauses.

"We do!" Hanna, Zeke, Shauna, Uriah, Marlene, and several friends in the audience all say together.

It startles me. We didn't plan this in rehearsal, but clearly they all wanted to participate in giving me away. It makes me smile, and I laugh out loud when a second later, Bella loudly chirps "We do!"

Hanna and Eric exchange a long hug, and in a motherly gesture she wipes the tears from his cheeks. Then Hanna gives me one more hug before handing me over to my groom. I'm already tired from all the festivities and emotionally wrung out. I want nothing more than to lean into Eric and have him enfold me in his arms. So I hand my bouquet to Marlene, and that's what I do. I wrap my arm around Eric's waist and rest my head on his shoulder. He returns the gesture, wrapping his left arm around my back and pulling me close.

The minister gives a brief message, and Eric and I step apart to face each other as we exchange vows and rings. The ceremony is short, heartfelt, and emotional. Being an orphaned, widowed, pregnant bride is the ultimate hormonal-emotional storm, and tears flow down my face throughout the entire service. But I'm smiling, too. This is a happy occasion, and I'm thrilled to be marrying Eric.

Once we are declared husband and wife, Eric and I exchange a loving kiss. Zeke and Uriah hoot and holler, making me blush and bury my face in Eric's chest.

When the noise dies down, the minister speaks again. "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you for the first time as husband and wife, Dr. and Mrs. Eric Coulter and Tris Prior-Eaton-Pedrad-Coulter!" I laugh out loud and Uri hands the minister some cash. This makes everyone laugh.

"Thank you, Uriah," says the minister. "Now let me try that again. Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. and Mrs. Eric Coulter and Tris Eaton-Coulter!"

Our friends and family cheer, and Eric and I make our way back down the aisle hand-in-hand. We're followed by Zeke, with Shauna on his arm and Bella on his hip. After them comes Uriah, with Marlene on one arm and Hanna on the other. We line up together and the minister closes the service by inviting everyone to stick around for dinner.

Hector brings baby Sadie back to her parents, and he and Matthew go to start the grills. Eric and I greet our guests, while the Pedrad women, along with Lynn and Christina, head into the kitchen to prepare the food. It's a fairly simple menu. We have burgers and hot dogs for the grill, along with buns and condiments. There are several slow cookers of baked beans simmering in my kitchen, and several large tubs of potato salad and coleslaw keeping cool in my fridge. The deep freeze in the mud room is full of ice, and Zeke and Uriah are already at work adding ice and bottled beverages to large containers scattered around the yard.

"Do you need to sit down, Mrs. Coulter?" Eric's deep voice rumbles in my ear.

I smile to myself. Tobias loved calling me "Mrs. Eaton" when we first got married. It's such a possessive, caveman thing to be excited about.

"I feel fine, Dr. Coulter," I reply, leaning into my husband's side and looking up at him.

His smile is broad and contagious. I smile up at him and hear the click of a camera's shutter. We spin and see Julie, our photographer, smiling back at us.

"That's going to be a good one," she says.

.

xxxx

.

When the last guest is gone, and the ranch hands are in the barn for evening chores, I drop onto my couch and sigh.

"How are you feeling?" asks Eric, joining me on the couch.

"Tired. Happy. Loved," I reply, snuggling into his side.

"Was it your dream wedding?" he asks.

"Are we married?" I ask.

"Yes," says Eric, clearly confused.

"Then my dream came true," I tell him. "Or at least it will once we consummate our marriage…"

Eric pulls me closer to his side and kisses me on the top of my head.

"Let's get you upstairs," he says with a wink. "I need to finish making your dreams come true."

I squeal as Eric lifts me into his arms and carries me up the stairs to our bedroom.


	21. Chapter 21: Unexpected Visitor

Since Eric and I were already living together, you would think that married life wouldn't be much of a change for us. But in combining our lives fully, including our businesses, and expecting a baby together, there is still plenty of adjusting. I went through the legal process of changing my name. _Again_. Eric and I combined our banking and added each other to our respective accounts, deeds, etc. By late summer, things are settling in to a regular routine.

We make the trip to Amity once a month for my prenatal care with Dr. Johanna Reyes. Eric hasn't missed a single appointment. Everything looks good with my pregnancy, and I'm getting big. We found out soon after our wedding that we are expecting a son, and I could not be happier.

We're struggling to agree on a name. I suggested Eric Charles Coulter, Jr., but my husband wanted no part of that. Bella recommends Elmo, but that's not happening. Eric and I have talked about naming him after our fathers, but Andrew Charles or Charles Andrew just didn't do it for either one of us. Eric graciously suggested Tobias for a middle name, but I don't want our son born with the weight of my past on his shoulders. I did agree that since the baby is due less than a week before Tobias' birthday, we will use it as his middle name _if_ the baby is born on Tobias' birthday. It's a good thing we have a few months to decide.

Eric is still being overprotective and trying to keep me from doing too much around the ranch, so I try to keep busy with things like bookkeeping and housework. I'm restless a lot. Working in the garden helps. I planted a lot this year, and I'm already harvesting beans, peas, and tomatoes, plus the herbs I grow in pots on the back porch.

I'm out there picking some basil to make pesto pasta for dinner when I hear the dogs bark, immediately followed by the aggressive noise of tires spitting gravel on our driveway.

"Boys!" I yell, calling my dogs. They hurry to the porch obediently. I don't know who's arriving, but they're driving like a pissed off teenager, and I don't want Hershey or Cocoa getting in the way.

The noise draws Eric and Uriah out of the barn just as a newer, chromed-out, cherry red pickup truck pulls up by the house. The minute the truck stops, the door flies open and a strange woman leaps from the vehicle.

"Tris Eaton!" she yells.

"I'm Tris Eaton-Coulter," I say.

The woman lunges toward the house. Her hands are balled up into fists and her face is flushed. She looks absolutely furious, but I have no idea why she would be angry with me because I've never seen her before.

Eric and Uriah, noticing her rage, run in our direction to intervene. I carefully step off the porch, pregnant belly first, and the woman stops dead in her tracks.

"Are you… Is that… _Son of a bitch_!" she screams.

By this point Uriah has reached the woman, and Eric has reached my side. We exchange glances, and I can tell my husband is as confused as I am. The stranger and I stand there staring at one another for a moment.

"Can I help you with something?" I ask, trying to figure out who this crazy person is and why she is at Dauntless.

"You? Help me?" the woman screeches. "That's rich! I think you've done more than enough, you home-wrecking slut!"

Eric steps between us, drawing himself to his full intimidating height.

"Watch what you say to my wife," he growls.

"Your wife?! Listen buddy, if this bitch is your wife, then you and I are in the same boat here, because she is one of many sluts that have been running around with my asshole of a husband! That's probably his baby she's carrying, too!"

Eric snarls at the woman. "You don't get to come to our home and talk about my wife and son that way. Who the hell are you, anyway?"

"I'm Carla Jefferson," she spits. "Does that sound familiar to you, Bitch? Did Max ever call you by my name in bed? You think you can just…"

"Max?" I ask. "Max Jefferson? I haven't seen Max in almost two years."

I hear Uriah swear. I'm sure he remembers my ill-fated handful of dates with the railroad man and how ashamed I was when I found out he was married.

"Who's Max Jefferson?" Eric asks, not taking his eyes off Carla.

"My husband! And the father of my children!" the woman rants.

"Max is a railroad man," I calmly explain to my husband. "I met him a few years ago when he stopped to admire the Dauntless horses at the county fair. We went on a few dates when he was passing through, and then I found out he was married."

I've told Eric all about my dating history, so he would have known if I said something less, like that Max was "that railroad guy," but I wanted Carla to hear the whole story.

"Did you sleep with him?" she spits.

"No!" I insist. "We spent an evening at the fair, then had dinner about a month later, and went to one high school football game. When I found out he was married, I told him to never contact me again."

"She's telling the truth," interjects Uriah. "I was here the whole time. Max never set foot on the ranch, and Tris was furious when she found out he was married."

"I would never do that to another woman," I say, trying to comfort Carla, whose eyes are now filling with tears. "I sent him packing as soon as I found out. I'm so sorry."

Tears begin streaming down the other woman's cheeks, and my pregnant emotions have me joining her instantly. I move out from behind my husband and toward the crying woman.

"Tris," Eric warns me.

I wave him off and put my arms around Carla, hugging her as much as my swollen belly will allow.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers.

"I'm sorry, too," I say, rubbing her back. "I'm sorry he did this to you. You don't deserve it. Would you like to come inside and have a cup of coffee?"

Carla shakes her head. "I'm going to go," she says. "I left the kids with my mother. I should head back."

I pull her in to one last hug and walk her back to her truck. Eric follows, never letting me more than a few steps from his reach. Uriah checks with us, then heads back to the barn.

As Carla climbs into her truck and backs onto the driveway, I realize I'm shaking. Eric must notice as well, because he wraps an arm around me and pulls me in close. "I sure wasn't expecting that," he says.

"Me neither," I say shakily.

Eric pulls me into a full hug, and I bury my face in his chest. "Who knew my innocent little Tris would have angry wives tracking her down," he teases, trying to lighten the mood.

I try to smile, but I'm really upset by the encounter.

"Are you okay?" Eric asks, pulling me back so he can look me over.

I shake my head as the tears start up again. "I want to lay down," I tell him.

Without hesitation, Eric scoops my pregnant body into his arms and carries me to the house. He lays me on the couch and fetches a glass of water, which I gladly drink. I don't want to freak him out, but I'm having some pains, like waves of period cramps spreading across my stomach and back.

Eric sits on the edge of the couch and places a hand on my belly. "You didn't do anything wrong," he tells me.

"I know," I say softly. "I'm embarrassed, and I'm sad for Carla, but I don't have anything to feel guilty about."

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

I shrug. Eric continues rubbing my belly, and I see fear cross his face as another wave of cramping hits me.

"Do you feel that?" he asks with alarm. He must be able to feel the muscles tightening.

"Yes," I admit.

"Tris!" he exclaims. "It's… It's too early for this! How long has it been going on? What do we do?"

Tears spring to my eyes. I was hoping the cramping would ease once I laid down, but Eric's panic makes it real and undeniable to me, too. I'm only seven months along. It's way too early for labor pain.

"Shh," Eric tries to soothe me, but I hear panic in his voice, and see it in the quick movements he's making. He touches my face, then my belly, then walks a lap around the living room before dropping to his knees beside me again. His panic is contagious, and in a minute I'm full-on crying.

"Okay," he tries again. "We'll be okay." I hear him swear under his breath as he stands to pace again. Suddenly he squares his shoulders, takes a deep breath, shakes out his hands, and rolls his neck. It's like he's trying to psych himself up for something scary, like zip lining or skydiving, and it makes me smile a little in spite of my fear.

"Eric," I call him. He practically dives back onto his knees at my side. "Call Dr. Reyes, Honey. Let's see what she says."

I rub my belly as I listen to my anxious husband on the phone. Our little seed hasn't been very active since Carla left and the cramping started. I hope he's okay in there.

I help Eric answer the doctor's questions. No, my water has not broken. As far as I know there has been no bleeding, either. The cramps are sporadic. The first few came closer together, but it's been longer and longer between episodes since then.

"Yes," I hear Eric say into the phone. He sounds angry. "A woman was here accusing her of sleeping with her husband, which is complete bullshit. She went on like two dates with the guy, years ago, and dumped his ass when she found out he was married."

I'm aghast. Why in the world is he telling anyone about this, much less my doctor? What business is it of hers? My cheeks flame hotly with anger and shame, and my mouth hangs open in shock. Eric turns to face me and swears again, immediately looking chastised.

"I'm sorry, Baby," he says as he sits on the edge of the couch next to me. "They think it's stress causing the contractions."

Okay. I guess that makes sense. I'm still not sure why he thinks Dr. Reyes needs all the details about my personal life, though. And how am I supposed to face her at my next appointment? She probably thinks I'm some kind of home-wrecking tramp now!

"Love?" Eric interrupts my distressed thoughts. I notice he's off the phone, and he looks a lot calmer than he did before he called the doctor.

"What?" I snap, a bit harsher than I intended.

"The doctor wants you to lay on your left side," he says. "You're to relax for the rest of the evening and drink a lot of water. If the pains get worse or closer together, or if your water breaks, we'll have to rush to the hospital. But if they keep getting further apart or stop altogether you'll be fine to wait until your appointment next week."

I snap my jaw shut tightly and rotate onto my left side. Eric sighs, resigning himself to my anger, and leaves to refill my glass.

When he comes back into the room he has the large insulated mug that I used in the hospital. The bendy straw will make it easy to drink while laying down. He hands me the mug and sits down on the floor beside the couch.

Eric gently strokes my belly and lets out a soft sigh, but doesn't look at me. "I'm sorry," he says softly. "I was scared and angry when Dr. Reyes asked about stress. I suddenly realized that Carla and her false accusations might have done more than hurt your feelings. I wanted the doctor to know what happened, but as soon as I started talking I worried that she would get the wrong idea, so I just kept talking. I'm sorry I embarrassed you and violated your privacy."

I take a deep breath, willing my pregnancy hormones to let up for a minute so I can see this logically instead of emotionally. "I understand," I say simply.

"Do you?" he asks, eyeing me skeptically.

"I'm trying," I say. My tone is still icy. I don't want to fight, and I need to get my stress under control for the baby's sake, so I try again. "My mind understands, but my heart is struggling. Finding out that Max was married embarrassed me. I felt like the whole town knew about it. But I did the right thing as soon as I found out. And then years went by, you came home, we got together, and I quit thinking about it. I thought it was just a mistake that was over and done with. And now this!"

"Calm down, Love," Eric says gently. "Think about the baby."

I take a deep breath and let out a sigh, willing my stress, shame, and anxiety to leave with my exhale.

"I'm worried about how many people Carla talked to in town," I admit quietly. "I'm worried about what she said about me - that she made a scene. And then you blabbed it to Dr. Reyes, and now I'm worried about seeing her next week. I did not aid a married man in cheating on his wife. I wouldn't do that. I had dinner with a nice man, then ran the other direction when I found out he was married. I don't understand why this is coming back at me like this."

From his seat on the floor beside me, Eric rubs his hand over my swollen belly and rests his head on the couch, his cheek touching mine.

"I guess 'Max' is out as a baby name, huh?" he jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

I chuckle, and our unborn son squirms and kicks inside me. Eric's face lights up as it always does when he feels our son beneath his hand.

"Little kickboxer," Eric says proudly. "I think he's ready to fight. We'll defend your honor, Mommy."

I laugh again and stroke Eric's cheek with one hand and my belly with the other. The pains seem to have passed, and I'm relieved.

Eric and I spend the rest of the day lounging on the couch. We watch light-hearted movies and discuss baby names. I drink enough water to float a boat and make frequent trips to the bathroom. The pains don't return, and I go to bed calm and content.


	22. Chapter 22: Family

I thought Eric was overprotective before Carla's surprise visit, but since then his anxious need to shelter me has reached new heights. He works from sunup to sundown every day, and rides the ranch staff hard, to keep me from doing any work, or even walking around too much. Even Dr. Reyes (who was gracious enough to never mention Carla or her accusations) has tried repeatedly to get him to ease up.

As an independent person it irks me to no end, but as someone who knows loss as well as Eric does, I understood. A drunk driver took Eric's mom and sister. Cancer took his dad. Pneumonia nearly took me. He was traumatized by those events, just as I was by losing my parents and Tobias. We both have a tendency to hold on too tightly when we get scared, and neither of us wants anything bad to happen to our son.

I try really hard to ease Eric's fears, but I get irritated, and pregnancy hormones _do not_ help.

I insisted on harvesting the garden and processing the produce. Eric brings Hanna out to help.

Zeke and Shauna asked us to babysit one day. Eric leaves me rocking Sadie and takes Bella to the barn for most of the afternoon.

We ordered furniture for the nursery. Eric makes me sit in a chair while he and Uriah put it together.

I go into town once a week for errands and groceries. Eric tags along or has someone else join me if he can't get away. When Hanna and Shauna throw a joint baby shower for Marlene and I, he even drives us there and back. I suspect he even stays in the truck out in the driveway rather than leave us there.

By the end of my pregnancy, I feel more like a prisoner than an expectant mother.

.

"Well, Tris," Dr. Reyes says at my 38-week appointment, "you're good to go anytime now. The baby looks healthy and plenty big."

"Her due date isn't for two more weeks!" Eric protests.

"And the baby probably won't come until closer to that date," the doctor assures him. "But at this point he's fully developed and it's safe for him to be born. You're measuring big, too, which means you're having a good-sized baby. Better that he come now than for him to be late."

"Are you sure?" Eric asks, and I roll my eyes.

My husband is a veterinarian, for goodness sake. He's not a medical doctor, but he should have a better grasp on biology than the average person. I have watched him confidently supervise the birth of several colts, even twins. But ever since he found out that I'm pregnant, it's like fear ate away his rather extensive (and expensive) education.

"Should we come and stay near the hospital?" he asks, and I roll my eyes again. I've learned that it's better to stay quiet and let him and the doctor do the arguing.

She laughs. "No, Eric, you're perfectly fine to stay home. It could be another two weeks before your son is born. Besides, you live, what, an hour from here? Labor takes all day most times. You'll have plenty of time to get to the hospital."

"What about bad weather?" he asks.

"There's no bad weather in the forecast for the next week, but if something comes up the week after that, you are welcome to get a hotel room here in town if you think it won't be safe to drive."

I tune out for a while, humming quietly and rubbing my enormous belly while Eric grills the doctor. When he has all his questions answered, Dr. Reyes turns to me.

"Tris, do you have any questions?" she asks.

"Yes," I tell her. "What can I do to encourage labor?"

Dr. Reyes chuckles. My question is worlds apart from Eric's.

"You do the exact opposite of what we had you do when you had early contractions," she tells me. "Walk around, have sex, do house cleaning including some squatting and moderate lifting. Just don't stop drinking water; dehydration isn't good either while preventing birth or encouraging it. Oh, and no climbing things or riding horse. Your center of gravity is changed and we don't want you falling."

"No worries," I say, laughing. "I highly doubt I could get my big belly up on a horse, and resting it on a saddle horn sounds painful."

.

xxxx

.

In spite of my best efforts, the baby makes me wait right up to his due date. I did everything Dr. Reyes suggested, everything Shauna and Hanna recommended, and everything I found online that seemed safe to try. Still, it seems our son is as stubborn as his parents.

Being this heavily pregnant is all kinds of uncomfortable. I feel stretched to capacity, and our not-so-little seed is out of room. It's hard to take a full breath, but my bladder is always full. I waddle when I walk, and my back, hips, and breasts ache.

"Tomorrow's the day," Eric says confidently as we're getting ready for bed one night.

"For what?" I say, a bit snippy, as I rub my aching back.

"It's your due date," he reminds me.

"I know that," I tell him. "But you know that means nothing. It's not an appointment. I read online that only five percent of babies are born on their actual due date."

"You seem crabby," he says off-handedly.

I throw a pillow at him as tears fill my eyes.

"You try being pregnant!" I yell, choking on a sob as I pitifully waddle-run into the bathroom and lock the door.

"Tris!" Eric calls after me. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said that."

"He's so heavy," I complain through the locked door, "and everything aches."

I slide down the bathroom door and lay on the floor. Great, how am I going to get up from this position? I let out a groan. There's been a dull aching in my back all day, and laying on the hard tile floor isn't helping. I roll onto my side and get my hands under myself, pushing up until I can get one hand on the toilet lid and the other on the edge of the bathtub. With a tremendous effort, I haul myself up onto my knees, and scramble to get a foot under myself so I can stand.

I stretch, hoping to relieve some of the tension in my back and distended belly. As I do, warm liquid trickles down my legs. I gasp as the tension in my belly gets worse.

"Eric," I squeak.

"Tris?" he calls.

Suddenly I'm furious. "I swear to God," I yell through the locked bathroom door, "if you say 'I told you so,' I will cut off your dick with a dull, rusty knife."

"What's going on?" Eric asks, managing to sound both amused and alarmed.

I step gingerly around the growing puddle at my feet and flip the lock on the bathroom door.

"My water broke," I say as I open the door.

Eric is smart enough not to say, 'I told you so,' but his smirk says it for him.

"Go get the mop," I growl as I start digging through my dresser for something to wear to the hospital.

"But… I mean… Don't we need to go?" says Eric, shocked as reality sets in.

"We're not leaving that," I insist. "I'm just glad it happened on the tile, and not on the carpet or in the bed."

He stands there, staring at me like I just asked him to build a house first.

"Hurry up!" I tell him, grabbing my packed hospital bag.

Eric suddenly scrambles out of the room, and I roll my eyes. I know it will take him a few minutes to clean up the mess and get dressed, so I grab a dirty towel from the hamper and walk across the hall to the nursery. Protecting the rocker with the towel, I take a seat and look around the soft yellow nursery. In just a few days this room that has held only dreams and heartbreak will finally have an occupant.

I rub my belly and take several deep, steady breaths as a wave of cramping tightens my midsection. When the pain passes, I look down at my stomach and speak to my unborn son.

"Are you ready to meet us?" I ask. "I've been waiting a long time for you. Your daddy and I already love you so much. The rest of our crazy family does, too. Grandma Hanna, Uncle Zeke and Aunt Shauna, Uncle Ooey and Auntie Mar, Bella, Sadie, Matthew, Hector, even Hershey and Cocoa. We're going to give you a good life, Little One - a life with lots of love and laughing, hard work and fresh air."

"Don't forget Dauntless cake," says Eric.

I pop my head up and see him lounging in the doorway. He looks more relaxed.

"I was looking for you," he says. "Are you ready to go?"

I nod, and Eric helps me up from the rocker. He tosses the towel back into the hamper and grabs the hospital bag. I grip the handrail on the way down the stairs, and Eric keeps his free hand on my other elbow, just in case I slip.

I make him walk through the house before we leave, checking locks and shutting things off. At the last minute I remember to grab a phone charger, and get two bottles of water for the drive. It takes nearly an hour to get to Amity Medical Center, but I have a feeling that after Eric witnesses a contraction we'll be getting there faster.

.

xxxx

.

Elliot Charles Coulter is laid on my chest at 4:14 am. He's red, wrinkly, and covered in chalky film and fine blonde hairs. He greets us with an angry newborn wail, and Eric and I laugh and cry. He's perfect, healthy, and big for a newborn.

The nurses take him for a minute to get cleaned up while Dr. Reyes finishes with me. Eric looks torn.

"Go with Elliot," I encourage him. "I'll be fine."

He steps to the other side of the room, and practically glows with pride as the nurses fuss over our son and compliment Elliot on being so big, healthy, and handsome. When the baby is thoroughly checked over, cleaned up, and swaddled snugly in a pastel blanket and blue hat, they hand him back to Eric.

"Here you go, Dad," says the nurse, placing the small bundle in Eric's massive arms. As Eric draws our son in close, I swear he stands a little straighter.

"Everything looks good?" Eric asks gruffly.

"Perfect," the nurse assures him. "Ten fingers, ten toes, and his vitals are what they should be."

Eric nods curtly, his eyes never leaving Elliot's face. I watch my boys intently, and before I know it, Dr. Reyes is telling me that I'm all done. I thank her and the nurses for their help, and they leave us alone, just a little family of three, for the first time.

I slide to one side of the large hospital bed and invite Eric to join me. He gently places Elliot in my arms before climbing up beside me on the bed. For a long while we just sit, staring at our beautiful baby in wonder.

"He looks just like you," I say quietly to my husband.

Eric chuckles quietly. "I was just going to say that he looks like you."

"He looks like us," I compromise. "He looks like family. I love you, and Tobias, and the Pedrads, but this is the first time I've had a blood relative in my life since I was nineteen. It's kind of overwhelming."

"I know what you mean," Eric agrees. "I know that family isn't just blood. Since my dad died you and Hanna and everyone have just mixed me right in to your family, and I've felt loved, wanted, and welcomed. But looking at Elliot? It's just different. Some day I can tell him about his grandparents and Aunt Emma, and about my grandparents. He shares my DNA, my family medical history, and my ancestors. He's the Coulter's link to the future."

"No pressure," I say to the baby in my arms.

Eric and I both laugh. "No pressure," he agrees. "We will love you no matter what, Little Man. That's what family does."

.

.

**A/N: That's the end, lovely readers. I cannot thank you enough for all the follows, favorites, and reviews. As usual, I do not own the Divergent characters. I enjoyed writing this story and I'm glad so many of you have enjoyed reading it. I have written quite a few fanfics now, mostly Divergent but also some Hunger Games. Please check them out. Thanks for reading!  
XOXO,**  
**Libby**


	23. Thanksgiving on Dauntless Ranch

Happy Thanksgiving! In honor of my favorite holiday, I've posted a holiday-themed oneshot called Thanksgiving on Dauntless Ranch. It picks up four weeks after this story ends. Enjoy, and I wish you all a wonderful day of food, family, and football!

XOXO,

Libby


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